my wash-dry-fold life

Cycle

2011-05-22T18:38:00.002+08:00

Every now and then there's a needle that pokes through your skin - shock shoots up the spine; and there's this feeling that you never want to feel it again. But then, when you get a hold of yourself, you forget all about the needle waiting to inflict you. It hides until you're at your most vulnerable and powerless. You think you overcame the whole ordeal, it punctures you again and tells you that you never did.

Tagsibol

2011-05-01T22:50:00.043+08:00

Eight post from the 30-day blog challenge i posted earlier.

I'm ~~a little~~ behind from the 30-day blog challenge but decided to resume this because I found the challenge so fitting for the 1st day of any month. Today, the instructions read that we should list down our short term goals for the month and why... As I was thinking it through, besides the concrete goal of losing X number of pounds, everything else were errands I left for later. Anyway, I wouldn't prolong the introduction anymore, as I fear that I will even leave this blog for a time later and forget all about it...

Lose (10) pounds before month's end - Explanation is, I have to start somewhere, right? :)
Visit my father in Pangasinan - He visited Manila this April and I have rekindled my connection with the rest of my Gutierrez kinfolk. I lent him the book, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl... but he left it at my lola's and he's been asking for it (Dad, i think it's your ploy for me to go to Bayambang! :P ), so I might as well bring it there. I could use a vacation :) I'll throw in some Vonnegut, John Rawl and Hilary Putnam... My dad is a certified bookworm and I think he can work out his Philosophy degree for some good exercise.
Give a really nice Mother's Day gift - I've been giving my mom crappy gifts ever since I got busy with my so-called life, so I have to shape up and give her a really wonderful find (Mental note: Kanlaon)
See my modista - I have a miscellanea of nice fabrics I got from Ilaya years back, it's about time they actually become clothes. Hahaha! My cheap hobby of copying designer stuff from a known designer website I used to buy from (until I discovered how great my modista is) will be revived! Say hello to my hot outfits come June, people!
Learn how to bike... and drive. - I've been putting this off for years, and yes, it is about time! Kahit bike lang, naman naman naman.. 'di ba?
Hold my networking party - I recently passed the Professional Regulatory Board's exam for Real Estate Brokerage. I am specializing on Commercial and Residential Brokerage, Raw Land Transactions and Leasing. My mom set this party for some well-off people, so I can build the network I need. My goal is to finish everything needed... Presentation, goodie bags, (the location etc is already set by my mom), sales pitch (sell myself) and of course, that promise of great service and partnership. I hope I can deliver well in front of the bigshots.
Use my groupons - I bought like a ton of groupons from February to March, so my goal is to use it before it expires and goes to waste.
FINISH THE BLOG CHALLENGE!!! :)) - IM SO BEEEHIIINNNDD!

That's about it for May. Think I'm biting off more than I can chew? I'll update at month's end on how it all went.

I hope it all goes on as planned :D Esp. 1 and 6.

Yesterday, this morning... :)

2011-04-26T08:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the simplest but one of the most joyful moments of my life. And I am glad that this morning, I have let God show me that everything, absolutely everything, is worth it :)

I love you, Leo. Thank you. :)

Lent

2011-04-21T00:15:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

I am so unworthy to be called Your child. I have failed You so many times, yet You still embrace me with Your grace and love. Even if I have put You down in countless instances, for the moments I have been desperate for strength and guidance, You have quelled my troubles away. Forgive, me. Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me for the times that I have strayed from You. A life away from You is so unbearable.

You have shown me your love through the things and people that help me through this mortal life. May all that I love feel that I loved them as You loved me. You have showered me with a so many people who have shared themselves in one way or another. I wish that they remember and cherish each passing moment we spent together and hold it dear in their hearts and make new ones, better ones.

And may all those who have hurt me, feel that I have forgiven them as You have forgiven me. And may they find You in the process of knowing that people are capable of that kind of forgiveness.

And most of all, for those whom I have scathed, in word or in action, may they be compassionate in forgiving me as well. May they find it in their hearts to let go of the hurt that I have caused, find You, and accept the love I'm offering to share with them. I know what it feels like to be burdened by anger and how free It feels to let it go. Let them surrender it to You.

You have carried me through the times that I am not able to stand, let alone, live. You have given me three new chances at life from imminent demise. Please, direct me to make good of this new lease on life that You gave... So that I may be truly called Your child in the life beyond this one.

I know I remain imperfect both in flesh and in spirit, but more than anything else, heal my spirit... For in your death and rising again, You have shown me that I am not a body with a soul but a soul with a body.

And because Love battles

2011-04-16T10:24:00.002+08:00

And because Love battles

And because love battles

not only in its burning agricultures

but also in the mouth of men and women,

I will finish off by taking the path away

to those who between my chest and your fragrance

want to interpose their obscure plant.

About me, nothing worse

they will tell you, my love,

than what I told you.

I lived in the prairies

before I got to know you

and I did not wait love but I was

laying in wait for and I jumped on the rose.

What more can they tell you?

I am neither good nor bad but a man,

and they will then associate the danger

of my life, which you know

and which with your passion you shared.

And good, this danger

is danger of love, of complete love

for all life,

for all lives,

and if this love brings us

the death and the prisons,

I am sure that your big eyes,

as when I kiss them,

will then close with pride,

into double pride, love,

with your pride and my pride.

But to my ears they will come before

to wear down the tour

of the sweet and hard love which binds us,

and they will say: “The one

you love,

is not a woman for you,

Why do you love her? I think

you could find one more beautiful,

more serious, more deep,

more other, you understand me, look how she’s light,

and what a head she has,

and look at how she dresses,

and etcetera and etcetera”.

And I in these lines say:

Like this I want you, love,

love, Like this I love you,

as you dress

and how your hair lifts up

and how your mouth smiles,

light as the water

of the spring upon the pure stones,

Like this I love you, beloved.

To bread I do not ask to teach me

but only not to lack during every day of life.

I don’t know anything about light, from where

it comes nor where it goes,

I only want the light to light up,

I do not ask to the night

explanations,

I wait for it and it envelops me,

And so you, bread and light

And shadow are.

You came to my life

with what you were bringing,

made

of light and bread and shadow I expected you,

and Like this I need you,

Like this I love you,

and to those who want to hear tomorrow

that which I will not tell them, let them read it here,

and let them back off today because it is early

for these arguments.

Tomorrow we will only give them

a leaf of the tree of our love, a leaf

which will fall on the earth

like if it had been made by our lips

like a kiss which falls

from our invincible heights

to show the fire and the tenderness

of a true love.

exogenesis symphony ni *myui14 ng deviantart. charcoal.

Pablo Neruda

Bashing the "Willie" is now academically chic for hypocritical highbrows

2011-04-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

Bashing the "Willie" is now academically chic for hypocritical highbrows

The disreputable TV host Willie Revillame had, yet again, an unbelievable brush with the beau monde. I cannot believe that a man, a man like Willie could be so divisive. Maybe because the masses sees Willy as a symbol of hope - a man, uneducated and poor, is now filthy (as in diiirrrttyy) rich, and he portrays a modern day Robin-Hood like "philantrophist". Blame that on the fact that the masses are truly hopeless now. With the government we have, mas aasa pa sila sa isang game show to escape their daily realities at magpapakatanga.

On the other hand, the rich and the Facebook-Twitter army of middle class calls every move of Willie as a dissimulation of the human race - hence, a gamut of blog posts, statuses, tweets and Tumblr posts ranging from witty to dumb to bandwagon-ish to the downright cruel has appeared with the goal to black ball the douche bag that Willy is. The reason why we never progress is that we dwell on stuff like this for too long. Anyway, I just can’t take it anymore. As much as I would like to restrain myself from posting any opinions on such issues as to not be misconstrued as somebody who is “milking”, I cannot bare the hypocrisy of my fellow Filipinos, anymore. So sorry, if I am counterintuitive again – but I have some points to raise that might arouse some reactions.

I am not a fan of Willie Revillame. But I am not a fan too, of the bourgeois "intellectuals" or the middle class or those phony bluestockings who are a bit overbearing.

POINT TAKEN. WILLIE IS A DOUCHE BAG. I think it's not really Willy being such a douche bag, which is the issue for me, here. He has been one, since his channel 2 days… (and it was consented to by ABSCBN, the same self-righteous company, ostracizing him now).

Wala namang kokontra na he is ignorant and bastos. Pero yun nga eh, “uneducated” siya kung tawagin… The blogs have reduced him to plain flesh. Even taking it as personal as pointing out that his mother was an indecent pub dancer and a waitress (mind you, column ‘to sa broadsheet. Babaeng writer pa sumulat) pero ang middle class at upper class na mga edukado kuno, papatulan siya with words, campaigns, opinion columns and blogs that proves na wala silang pinagkaiba kay Willie. Partida, edukado na nga. Minsan pathetic na, katali-talino, pinag-aaksayahan niyo ng panahon si Willie. Go and look at our political scene, mas maraming abusadong halimaw doon.

It’s (the online media campaigns against Willie) almost a daily dose of recursive hypocrisy – the middle class evangelizing through different kinds of media to cure their sobrang lalang ontological insecurity – Yeah right, you’re rich, you’re academic, you’re high on the strata but you’re just middle class. Nakakainis ba talaga si Willie kasi bobo siya tapos may Lamborghini siya? Minsan iniisip ko, baka ganoon, kasi people have this deeply embedded hate. Hahahaha! Ang tindi ng mga blogs eh. Parang anak ng demonyo ang douche na 'to. May parodies pa of all sorts to persecute this senseless piece of flesh named Willie. Hayhay. Pinapasikat niyo lang siya lalo.

On Willie exploiting the poor. - totoo naman, its so easy to say that what he gives are dole-outs and he is exploiting the poor… mga drama nila sa buhay, papasayawin, papakantahin for a measly sum compared to their integrity. Exploitation. Pero ang mga mayayaman, mga middle class na mag-aaral, mga nagbabasa, mga.. edukadong taong naturingan. Galit na galit sila kay Willie – pero sila ‘tong may mga kotseng mahal at marami, Iphones, Blackberrys, Concert tickets worth thousands of pesos, expensive gimmicks, shopping sprees… Huwag na tayo magpanggap. We too, we exploit the poor. Do we not mock poverty ourselves when we buy Starbucks Coffee? That’s a whole family’s meal for the day for 15 minutes of pleasure. We are so condescending telling people Willie is abusive – Hey, look at your wallets, your bags, your parents, your employers, the institutions you have came from. Almost all of us have exploited the poor. Let’s not hide under the cloak of hateful comments for Mr. Revillame.

Also, this is such a good example of selective justice. Aminin nyo na 80% of what is on the TV is as dumb, and as stupid, and despicable as Willie’s show (as all people describe it to be). If you will campaign against one, then campaign against ALL OF IT, diba? The network which bulk of the controversies he has been involved in is ostracizing him for holding a show that was obtuse and repugnant, yet it is ABS-CBN who have let that damn show happen for years. Format nila yun, kaya parang tanga ginagawa nila.

MTRCB should be fair. Given the show is flawed in many ways, they should also call the attention of other television programs that display the same thing – with the same gusto, with the same drive. Pacomment comment pa ang kapwa nilang mga artista that is as hollow as Willie is (medyo nakakaaliw… kabi-kabila tong mga pa-intellectual na showbiz people) Teka, take notice: yung Going Bulilit? Pinapapasayaw yung mga lalaki, pagdadamating babae, mocking the LGBT. Mga batang 7 years and below, pinagtatabi sa kama na parang nagsisiping. Si Vice Ganda, kung makalait ng pisikal na hitsura sa Showtime... Mga biro ni Vic Sotto, iinom ng tubig tapos ilulura kay sa comedian co-hosts… ‘Diba? Ano tawag niyo doon? Quality? Decency?

At medyo nakakatawa na rin ang lebel ng hatred kay Willy. Yung isang blogger na dinemanda ng magulang ni Jan-Jan, eh nagalit and declared that the case was simply a ploy to bring him down. Ah, eh… sila yung magulang ng supposedly pinagtatanggol mo, parang wala kang dialog man lang na concerned ka lang sa welfare ng bata at 'di ka nila naiintindihan –para sa blogger its simply a hit on his ego. Hirap ipaliwanag, pero ‘di ba? Initially this was about the kid, ngayon parang Willie vs. the World na.. Medyo nahahalata na yata ang true motive. Hahahaha!

Willie is an easy person to hate. He is arrogant, uneducated, remorseless etc. but to be the same kind of bully that he is brings you to the same level as he is in.

And lastly, medyo off-tangent, pero to the political prostitute Dinky Soliman – instead of putting so much sensation on this issue, why don’t you show us where the Conditional Cash Transfers is going – kasi mahal ang gasolina at bilihin. Habang nagpapatagal kayo sa issue ni Willie Revillame kakatanggol niyo kamo sa pag-eexploit sa mga bata at mga mahihirap, maraming MAHIHIRAP, BATA AT MATANDA NA NAMAMATAY.

This goes for all of us. Huwag na natin pagkaabalahan pa ‘to. Give him a reprimand and let's move on. There are more important things in this world than this.

Day 7 - Xenophobe

2011-04-12T13:54:00.000+08:00

Seventh from the 30-day blog challenge i posted :-)

The challenge: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

The door in the photo above is a door to the future. What I have now, is a general and incomplete map, subject to major tweaks here and there... but is nonetheless, better than to go inside the terra incognita of the time that has yet to come, completely clueless.

This has such a huge impact on my life because what I do today pretty much determines what happens next. That door also brings fears - fear of losing the familiar; fear of losing my family, friends and loved ones; fear of losing the life I came to know. I am pressured to be the person I wish to become. I am pressured by the thought of the "future me". I am disinclined to accept that slowly, I will naturally lose people I have considered the pillars of my being all my life, or i would be failed by my beliefs. Ang hirap isipin na darating yung araw that circumstance will rob you of all of that, and you'll be left scouring for an answer somewhere. But even if that fear is there, i know for a fact that I do not have full control of what happens and inevitably, things would change.

What I have now is a chance. A chance and also a choice to beat the odds and transform whatever i can to a positive outcome pero nakakatakot.

It's impact in my life is so big, that I am constantly trying to push myself. Naaalala ko nung grade school, we were always made to write essays, sa mga sulatin pa and the like, on how we see ourselves ten years from then. The ten years has elapsed. 10 years after is now. Somehow, may mga bagay na nagbago, and here are most of us, re-writing that 10 years from now thing.

Actually, it's not the short-term future I'm always conscious of. I am actually a pretty spontaneous person, and i let things go as they should on a daily basis. But its really that long term future, my future reality that has such a big impact on what I do on that 'daily-basis' thing. But on my prayers, there is always that plea for guidance to be the person God willed me to be and that supplication that I may be able to accept whatever comes my way.

Hopefully, sa dapithapon ng buhay ko, bago pa ako kumupas, ay wala akong pagsisihan or baka mas okey isipin that I would have the right regrets.

+08-11+

2011-04-11T22:55:00.003+08:00

Oft, you have dug your nails deep into the flesh until it bleeds tears of blood through your ruthlessness, and you repeat it until compunction becomes superbia and superbia becomes you.

+08-11+

Day 6 - Ding! Ang bato!

2011-03-31T22:13:00.002+08:00

Sixth from the 30-day blog challenge i posted :-)

The challenge: Your favorite superhero and why.

No, I did not read the comics until I was in high school. I watched, Anjanette Abayari be the manang one moment and a sizzling hot beautiful woman the next. Yes, yes. Its not Vilma, Sharon, Marian, Nanette Medved, or Angel Locsin. Anjanette Abayari was my original Darna. I watched Darna several times, and as a child and the amazement of how she turns into a superhero from superordinary just by swallowing a ruby was a little girl's fantasy.

~~That was the beginning of my longing to have boobs~~ (kidding!)

Pinoy na Pinoy ang superhero ng lola mo. Yes! X-Men's Storm or Rogue or whoever was no match for my homegrown wonderwoman who can beat a Filipino ripoff of Medusa (Valentina) with a little karate. Through the years, Darna became a symbol of the "ultimate woman" -- we know the story, so why do they remake it again and again? (Some may argue GMA is really not creative LOL) but for every up and coming actress whose career is flourishing, the role of "Darna" is like a Famas award. The image of the actors dressed in a crimson bikini with stars adorning them is the image of their youth and her prime that will never be forgotten. As I grew older, I read Darna occasionally -- the old and new versions of her in the comics and television and she is really, truly, the Ultimate Pop Culture Icon.

Interestingly too, according sources i read, "the reason why Mars Ravelo chose to create a female paladin rather than a male one was because the creator of Darna grew up with an absentee father. Hence, he never had a father-figure and he considered his mother as his biggest hero growing up. His mother represented Darna, and young Mars Ravelo represented the kid sidekick, Ding"

And to those who claim she's a Wonderwoman replica, I found some explanation as to why that is not the case (although there are similarities):

"Aside from the bullet deflection misconception (perpetrated by the Viva Films movies), Darna's similarity to Wonder Woman is superficial, if anything. Besides the fact that super strength, flight, and super speed are common and hardly unique powers among superheroes, the character has several differences with her purported source material. She has always possessed the power of flight from the very beginning (as Varga in 1947, and as Darna in 1950), while Wonder Woman only gained the power to "glide on the air currents" in the 60's and the real power of flight in the 1987 relaunch of her title after the Crisis on Infinite Earths changed the DC Universe."

And somewhere along the road, my appreciation of Darna has evolved from the admiration of Anjannete Abayari to a whole new level of veneration of one of the first illustrations of a strong-willed Filipino woman. This pop culture icon in the Philippines had survived more than 60 years, and if that's not legendary, i do not know what is.

DARNA!

Day 5 - Sa Ga Da :)

2011-03-31T16:27:00.003+08:00

Fifth from the 30-day blog challenge i posted :-)

The Challenge: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

I've been to several continents and countries in the world. I was lucky enough that my mother and father really loved traveling. But, i felt that the travels that I am having now is what I enjoy the most. I appreciate it more now more than ever. When I was younger, I just unknowingly tag along with the rest of my family. When I entered college, traveling with my family members kind of dwindled down. I was busy with school, the campus paper and other things.

On the other hand, if I missed traveling with my kinfolk, I was also able to enjoy team buildings and travels sponsored by the school because of the editorship position I had. Mostly were domestic travels but i had one international affair to attend. I was able to go to Brunei (for the ASEAN Youth Summit Young Speakers Contest), For the domestic travels: I have reached Bacolod, Cavite, Batangas, Bataan and many other places because of the editorship.

But of all it's my travel trips with my friends and my boyfriend that I enjoy the most... And so far, of all of them, Sagada was the one that left a embossed mark on me. We stayed there for seven days and we meant to have some adventure. We went spelunking, mountain climbing (Mt. Ampacao and Lake Danum), gate-crashing (it was election time last year), and food tripping, (Of course!)

The trip in itself was not for the faint of heart. From Manila, you travel six (6) hours to Baguio, probably spend a night there and the go to the Mountain Province, the morning after (they have bus travels only until 2, if I recall correctly) and spend another 6 hours of travel). If you are easily dizzied by travel, i suggest you bring along medicine for it.

The 6-hour trip on the bus befittingly named Lizardo, was on a picturesque drive on the Cordilleras, you can see beautiful rice terraces, a great horizon, mountains and other wonders of nature. But that also means the road is not fenced, is extremely zigzagged, and has hundreds of feet of cliff drops. If you sit at the back, you can feel that when you reach a sharp turn (which in Mountain Province standards, is really sharp), parang umaangat yung gulong. The journey to it, i enjoyed even if i was afraid of heights, but going back to Baguio was a different story because it rained. I was scared the whole time :|

We stayed in this guest house and we got the penthouse room. The rooms do not have air conditioning because you hardly need any. What you want to make sure of is the supply of hot water, or a water heater and a hefty supply of insect repellent . The lodging is quite cheap, that's why we were able to afford to stay for very long. But that also means they do not have hotel like amenities, which is fine, because you are bound to experience Sagada in its pure unadulterated form.

Authentic Yogurt

The dining was also one important facet of the whole trip. We ate at several places in Sagada, like the European Buffet by this Frenchman (as per Camille Robles' recommendation) who is now a permanent resident of Sagada - he hosts this dinners and bonfires for a measly P350 pesos. The liquor of choice during bonfires, even for the foreign crowd is Tanduay. The Frenchman was eventually given an Igorot name and was blessed by their chieftain. He had a dog and a number of companions in his home. I think he enjoys the life in Sagada so much that he permanently lives there and have lived there for more than a decade now.

Dinner at the European Buffet place

My breath fogs

How could we also forget Yogurt House and it's delicious and fresh renditions of the Yogurt - we ate their twice! (as per Lorraine Tan's recommendation). They have hot food served as well, and they keep a fresh harvest of huge vegetables which you can ask for, if you want and if they allow you, you can take some with you.

We also experienced the Lemon House. They have this celebrated lemon pie and Mountain coffee, which was simple as it is but is uniquely Sagada for some reason. We had breakfast here once, and merienda many times. It is in a quaint house maintained by an old lady (whom from what we heard was still caving at the age of 70!) and is usually just attended by two persons. Sometimes, you can just leave your payment by the counter without the attendant having to be there.

We also had their halo-halo which was different because it had so many fruits than beans and it had macaroni in it! We had a cup each on our trek to Echo Valley. You can encounter stalls by the streets.

The most memorable dining experience however was during the Miting de Avance of a certain mayoralty candidate. The owner of the guest house was closely blood related to this candidate and one day, they slaughtered this huge pig right before our very eyes and in the evening, was served to almost all the residents in Sagada as Dinakdakan and Pork Adobo. Coffee was served unlimited and rice! We were among the people and as alien as we are to them, they welcomed us with open arms. We felt their community spirit and how simple life is for them. These were one of their big gatherings and we were lucky enough to be invited. It was very casual and almost all of them were blood-related. It was a light and we were glad we were able to experience Sagada on that level.

May i just also share that since Sagada residents are by and large, Igorot. I have learned so many things about them during the whole trip. We went to this museum maintained by an Igorot woman, who was a cancer survivor and as little as her museum was, she gave us hours of stories about the culture, traditions and history of the Igorots in the Mountain Province. As of today, most of them are modern but traditions are observed by most, still. Some of them are affluent but their way of life is fairly simple.They are mostly Anglican in faith, so most of them are fluent in English than Tagalog because it (English) was used in the schools the Anglicans built in Sagada more than Filipino. Actually, I was taken aback a little by their fluent English speaking. I was buying the usual necessities in a typical tindahan and the lady, who was rather old, talked to me in perfect English - and mind you - with a twang. Most of them are educated well and come the tertiary, they go to the city in Baguio or in Manila to continue their studies. In Manila St. Luke's and Trinity College are their main link to Episcopal education.

The dawn after the day of our arrival, we went for a nice sunrise (which we never got).It was the sunrise at Kitelpan and though it was a bit cloudy, It gave a feel of what we were going to expect with the rest of the Sagada trip. Adventure, discovery and captivation.

Before sunrise breaks, bonfire muna.

cold?

The supposed view, which we never saw because it was so cloudy.

There are so many places to explore in Sagada and bruises, scratches here and there are not avoidable. But the experience is worth it, I promise you that. It was very challenging and you can choose the challenges and at what levels you want to experience it. We tried all that we could to do that. Mountain Climbing was fun, we we're up so early in the morning and had so much water in tow for our Mt. Ampacao climb (however, it still wasn't enough. I am not a water drinker but imagine how much water I drank that day... SOOO MUCH!) . Leo initially thought I had no endurance for it, by I had! All 20+kilometers of mountains and forests! :)

We were even able to rest at Lake Danum which had such an amazing landscape -- you know with the horses (few) and cows drinking and frolicking in the lack, it was almost like Marlboro Country! LOL. We even camped during the afternoon in the tip of Mount Ampacao - you had views of Benguet, Abra, Ifugao and other adjacent provinces. It was surreal! I even called my mother and told her about it. We cooked our own food. We had spam with us and we cooked it with fire. We also drank from water plants that was scattered. It was a long day, but a day I truly enjoyed. I never walked and trekked so happily in my life. (was able to trek Pagudpud and Puerto Galera falls, Galera was hardest because everything was so slippery) I'm looking forward to trek mountains again :) Hopefully, not far in the future.

Now, spelunking.

I guess the biggest challenge I needed to overcome was the spelunking. For ordinary travelers, they usually choose the Sumaguing Caving experience but we opted to take a challenging route. This is a 3-hour spelunking from Lumiang Cave to Sumaging Cave. Experienced spelunkers do it in three, we did it in four and a half. It's actually the 2nd year anniversary date of me and Leo. haha! (beat that)It's quite long though, and it's as if your rock climbing, mountain climbing inside the cave.

The photo below marks my entry to Lumiang cave. There's a 15 minute walk down steep stairs down to the mouth of Lumiang, and it's quite overwhelming! The rocks are so large! Lumiang Cave was first explored by Italian spelunkers back in 1985 when they mapped the Sagada cave system - Crystal Cave, Echo Valley, Lumiang and Sumaging Caves. So imagine, to get to Sumaguing I had to pass The Crystal Cave, Echo Valley, Lumiang.

All we had was Petromax and our Sagada guide named Jason (Leo actually calls him Piolo! Haha!)Our guide was somewhat our human ladder, bridge etc. And no, we didn't have helmets. As I've said the mouth of Lumiang was enormous but in order to enter, you must enter this snug hole that would fit only one person. It's not for the claustrophobic! I felt like Alice in Alice in wonderland, only this hole was not a fantasy but the world that awaited was really something worth the effort that goes into it. The snug hole takes you down through tight rock formations before you see anything...I was so overwhelmed by the difficulties of spelunking that it took a while and the occasional bursting into tears. As I've mentioned, the route we were taking were for experienced spelunkers, and we were first-timers, and I am a self-confessed ~~lampa~~! Imagine that! Hence, the panic attacks.

Beginning the Spelunking Cave Connection Adventure at Lumi-ang Cave.

The surfaces is wet and slippery. It's best to secure footing before proceeding. Most of the time, I was on 5-wheel drive - all fours plus my butt. Ergo, the dirty legs photo. Well, more like -- dirty me photo. I wore leggings. The spandex type, not the cotton one. And I have this house shorts over it because we knew we were going to utilize our butts well. The scariest of them all was one in the middle, which took the chunk of the time because of my panic attack. It was the boundary to Sumaguing and we had to CLIMB UP a rope, a loose rope, swinging back and forth and a 30 feet drop not far behind.

our guide Kuya Jason

It took me 30 minutes to muster the courage to climb up, carry my body - with no equipment whatsoever. Hanging on to the rope with my bare hands, half-praying for a miracle. I even drew a picture of it for easy reference on what I am saying. (sorry by the way, because it's so ugly) -- So as you can see, the entry to Sumaguing cave was a small pocket like hole on a big rock. To get there, I had to rappel my body up. Leo came up first then I, second, with the guide guiding me through. Occasionally the rope would swing sideways, and I keep in mind the number one rule the guide gave - never let go. Yes, with my bare hands... Just my bare hands, bare foot and determination in that cold, petromax-lit, darkness. Leo pulled me when I was at the tip of that mouth. He came up first. I was calling out my mother the whole time and hoped for at least a helmet. I had a rush and a sense of urgency because at any time the petromax' gas would run out and we need to reach Sumaguing or we're stuck in pitch-black darkness.

My ugly drawing of the panic attack climb up

I had to remove my slippers eventually.

The thrill didn't end there, we had to do crawls, more rock climbing, more rappelling...It was hard! Some rocks hurt the feet and it was too slippery to wear rubber slippers. It's really you ~~vs.~~ making love with nature. Body to body! Hahahaha! Pag sinabing gulong, gulong. Pag sinabing gapang, gapag. pag talon, talon. Trust your guide and don't second guess yourself when you're in the middle of doing it. And when the view down is steep, don't look down!

That's petromax light! Hahaha!

Somewhere in the middle of it, we reached this beautiful plateau from all the climbing up and climbing down and fitting the body inside narrow spaces, bats and bat shit was everywhere. But it was a relief - the surface was flat, somewhat dry and cold in some places and had this small puddles of cold water. Actually, if you ask me, the whole caving adventure was Sagada's version of organic foot spa and mud wraps! Slowly too, you see these beautiful rock formations - I wont tell what, because i guess finding out on your own would be better. It was pretty intense inside - you will be overpowered with nature and realize that nature owns you and not vice-versa.

Leo witha rock formation.

Leo making his way to the trail

When we were in the Lumiang cave, it was just us. Imagine my relief when we reached Sumaguing and a lot of people were there. It was such a relief. I was exhausted so Sumaguing was more of the "rest" part.

Got down, dirty, bruised, traumatized etc. but... it was priceless to finish it.

The most challenging really was that last climb up. It was wet and the rocks wobbled and collapsed. It was like rock climbing with no harnesses or belay loops. Being a self-confessed lampa It was challenging to sustain that last bit of energy (It was unbelievably exhausting)... But being in pitch darkness for the first three and a half hours, the climb up out of Sumaguing Cave was a flee-or-freeze thing - I was itching to see sunlight. So, i didn't care if my nails dug in soil and bat shit, i needed the grip. I didn't care if my foot was aching, i was in no way allowed to stop in the middle of it.

The moment we got out we were rejoicing. There was a quiet celebration of achievement, of rest and of survival. It felt so damn good. I have never seen sunlight the same way again!!!

We were to rest in this small house-like carinderia which had showers downstairs. We were given a small bar of soap to wash away the mud. Well, when we got back to the guest house we had a second round of washing because the mud in our clothes and body weren't washed up totally.

after shower, post-spelunking photo fronting the hanging coffins (cant see from this pic yung coffins).

In total the whole Sagada experience was phenomenal. It is with this trip that I realize that If I were to choose between spending my money on travel or a designer bag, i would most likely choose the travel. Experience leaves more to the person than the material things. The happiness pay-off of a travel experience, whether its good or bad lasts longer - stories does, memories does. And my week in the Sagada was all worth it. And when anybody asks what we did that anniversary of ours, there's an easy answer - we had a date, in a cave full of bats for four and a half hours.

My Personality Type: The Independent Thinker

2011-03-29T16:30:00.003+08:00

My Personality Type: The Independent Thinker

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.

Independent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

As an Independent Thinker, you are one of the introverted personality types. (Really now..?) That is one of the reasons you prefer to work alone. This does not mean that you cannot be successful in a team, as well. For you, the task is most important and people who are involved come second. The contact with others, the necessity to adjust yourself to their daily changing sensitivities - all of it is just more gratuitous emotion that keep you from totally devoting yourself to those things that truly interest you: analyzing systems and policies, researching potentials for change, developing new ideas and implementing them in reality.

Here you differ from the second introverted Thinker type, the Analytical Thinker: You truly enjoy implementing your concepts and you enjoy the results. Therefore you should look for a work environment where you can accompany and expedite your ideas through to their conclusion. You consider difficult situations as challenges that really try your creativity and you frequently surprise people around you with genuinely incredibly bright ideas, rendering others speechless with their excellence. Your world consists of statistics, legitimacy, and systematics.

Considering all of this, your Thinker type is very praxis-oriented, and by no means lives on an intellectual ivory tower. You are not interested in theories not related to reality. As in chess, you are excellent at predicting the consequences of your methods in advance, and then choosing the appropriate alternative. Once you have made your decision on how to deal with a situation, you are totally willing to use your elbows and you don’t necessarily show any consideration for others. With that, you occasionally encounter resistance from other, less task-oriented colleagues that you quickly brush aside.

You resent routine jobs or monotonic order of events. You believe that they smother your creativity. If necessary, your determination and unusual ambition will convince you to acquiesce to the inevitable. Nevertheless, when choosing your profession, you should be mindful that your working environment is going to provide you with something new to learn and that your tasks are as varied as possible. Your strength lies in solving novel problems and not working on details. Nor should your curiosity ever be satisfied; just as fresh information is as important to you as the air you breathe, so is the feeling that you continuously expand and increase your competencies. An activity where you do the same thing in the same department with the same colleagues for 20 years is the worst fate that can possibly happen to a hungry mind.

For your partner, you are truly a hard nut to crack, and one has to give someone who goes through life as independent as you darn good reasons for a relationship before he/she deigns to at least consider it. You very slowly and judiciously develop trust and closeness to other people; whoever wants to win you needs a tremendous amount of patience and staying power.

Even once you begin to warm up to someone, one does not sense that for the longest time as you are uncomfortable and reluctant to display your feelings because you are not used to it. The cool, distanced, and somewhat arrogant vibes of all Thinkers are a little more pronounced with you and already sufficiently discourage many potential partners as they get frustrated and give up during the advanced phases of flirting - a shame because inside, you are not as indifferent and emotionless as you some- times appear, and sometimes your reserve simply hides your disappointment at the blindness and superficiality of the people around you.

Nevertheless, it is always a good idea for you to choose a partner very carefully and not blindly jump into an affair, because your demands are very high. You have a clear image of the “perfect relationship” and are not willing to deviate from that by even one millimeter to the right or the left. A sharp intellect that is equal to yours is the most important quality your partner must bring along. You need somebody in your life who inspires, stimulates, and always challenges you and with whom you can maintain an intensive intellectual companionship. Nothing will impress you more than competence, knowledge, and the willingness to learn because those are the traits that are truly important to you in your life. You are never really satisfied with your accomplishments, and always discover something about yourself that needs your improvement, where something new can be learned, and where you are not yet good enough.

Day 4 - Super Crammer!

2011-03-20T18:01:00.050+08:00

Fourth post from the 30-day blog challenge i posted earlier.

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

I am a crammer.

I’ll add dawdle and ~~‘hope it goes away’ as well~~ Hope it comes out as planned. Well, most of the time, I am luck that I still benefit from such a scenario. They say there are many, many reasons why someone procrastinates. There might be an inward feeling of a fear of failure or fear of success, being in a state of overwhelming feelings or thinking that it seems pointless, or maybe, just laziness. For me, it might be all that.

The worst type of crammer. It works for me, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a healthy habit. Cramming comes with three very important things - caffeine, 24-hour establishments and the very distracting temptations of the Internet (Apparently, from the little time I have left, I still manage to squeeze in some ~~"diversion"~~ or maybe its a "distraction".

I sometimes realize its not good when I get the results... Yes, I might have succeeded, somehow but I look back and realize that it could have been better. I am a blinded believer of the saying "No pressure, no diamonds." Apparently, i can get the pressure without having to leave everything for later. Hopefully, I could kick the habit as soon as I embark on future endeavors. I am to study law in the near future and a crammer might suffer a terrible demise.

And for my fellow crammers out there, I searched for things that might be helpful in overcoming this habit (Let's try it together!)

Overcoming Procrastination by Steve Pavlina --->

When you feel stressed, worried, or anxious, it's hard to work productively. In certain situations procrastination works as a coping mechanism to keep your stress levels under control. In his book The Now Habit, Dr. Neil Fiore suggests that making time for guaranteed fun can be an effective way to overcome procrastination. Decide in advance what blocks of time you'll allocate each week to family time, entertainment, exercise, social activities, and personal hobbies. Then schedule your work hours using whatever time is left. This can reduce the urge to procrastinate because you work will not encroach on your leisure time, so you don't have to procrastinate on work in order to relax and enjoy life
Sometimes you may have more items on your to-do list than you can reasonably complete. This can quickly lead to overwhelm, and ironically you may be more likely to procrastinate when you can least afford it. Think of it as your brain refusing to cooperate with a schedule that you know is unreasonable. In this case the message is that you need to stop, reassess your true priorities, and simplify.Options for reducing schedule overwhelm include elimination, delegation, and negotiation. First, review your to-dos and cut as much as you can. Cut everything that isn't truly important. This should be a no-brainer, but it's amazing how poorly people actually implement it. Be aware that the peak performers in any field tend to take more vacation time and work shorter hours than the workaholics. Peak performers get more done in less time by keeping themselves fresh, relaxed, and creative. By treating your working time as a scarce resource rather than an uncontrollable monster that can gobble up every other area of your life, you'll be more balanced, focused, and effective.
Often we procrastinate because we feel too physically and/or emotionally drained to work. Once we fall into this pattern, it's easy to get stuck due to inertia because an object at rest tends to remain at rest. The solution is straightforward: get off your butt and physically move your body. Exercise helps to raise your energy levels. When your energy is high, tasks will seem to get easier, and you'll be less resistant to taking action. A fit person can handle more activity than an unfit person, even though the difficulty of the tasks remains the same.
We all experience temporary laziness at times, but if you suffer from chronically low motivation and just can't seem to get anything going, then it's time for you to let go of immature thought patterns, to embrace life as a mature adult, and to discover your true purpose in life. Until you identify an inspiring purpose, you'll never come close to achieving your potential, and your motivation will always remain weak.
Even when motivation is high, you may still encounter tasks you don't want to do. In these situations self-discipline works like a motivational backup system. When you feel motivated, you don't need much discipline, but it sure comes in handy when you need to get something done but really don't want to do the work. If your self-discipline is weak, however, procrastinating will be too tempting to resist. If you really want to overcome procrastination, you must release any attachment to the fantasy of a quick fix, and commit to making real progress. Hopefully you have the maturity to recognize that reading a single article won't cure your procrastination problems overnight, just as a single visit to the gym won't make you an athlete.
Do you ever find yourself falling behind because you overslept, because you were too disorganized, or because certain tasks just fell through the cracks? Bad habits like these often lead to procrastination, often unintentionally.
The solution in this case is to diagnose the bad habit that's hurting you and devise a new habit to replace it. For example, if you have a problem oversleeping, take up the challenge of becoming an early riser. To de-condition the old habit and install the new one, I recommend the 30-day trial method. Many readers have found this method extremely effective because it makes permanent change much easier.

Good luck and Good skill to us crammers! May we cease to be, as soon as possible :)

Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends

2011-03-19T15:26:00.002+08:00

Third post from the 30-day blog challenge i posted earlier.

I overdid this challenge because I have uploaded so many photos. Primarily because I have four sets of close friends (You know, the friends you either spend a lot of time with, share things you wouldn't normally share to others, go to great lengths in order to see and hang with them and those you truly, truly care about or those who fall under all those categories or a combination of it.)

My forever friend Sab, Lorraine and Toto. College friends. Sabrina is my friend since high school.

Gabee, Jean, Kris, Lors

My Plaridel friends Joel and Leo. Leo is also my boyfriend.

My high school barkada. RIP Kirby.

My Plaridel Family. They have been a huge part of my growth as a person.

My high school loves!!!

My college loves!!!

The girls I grew up with. Germaine, Kyla, Leslie, Kay. Abby and Pam is not here pero kasama yun :)

HS :)

Plaridel loves.

When I was Editor-in-Chief these were my section editors. I've shared friendships with them.

Plaridel and my Plaridel extended family :)

HS loves

My Plaridel loves + extended family LU trips

Nicole, friend since kinder.


visiting Kirby.

My workmate best bud Carmela!

Gab me and Joel

LU fun =)

My former workmates are my friends to this day.

I love APP

JC and me

Plaridel!

Lors and me

college posse

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Day 2 - Name Game

2011-03-18T23:40:00.015+08:00

Second post from the 30-day blog challenge i posted earlier.

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr Blogger name

WASHYOURCLOTHES

Figure.1

It was originally green salipawpaw. As Figure.1 illustrates, until now the e-mail posting option would use my originally registered blog name. I registered that sometime 2006, because my older blog (which is now extinct) had some similarity to it. That explanation is rather long, so, let's just focus on my current blog names.

I switched to the Laundry theme because it was in 2006 that I read about The Swastika laundry (See Figure.2). I attempted to use images of in my layout just because i thought it was interesting and that the logo of Swastika was introduced at a time well before it’s association with National Socialism and that it was actually a symbol of good luck originating in India. BUT I find that some people might be offended by it, that's why i did not pursue it. But the laundry theme was still in mind... because blogging, as much as you would like to ~~intellectualize~~ it is most of the time, washing your clothes in public - dirty, not-so-dirty, or somehow dirty (well, why would you wash something clean, 'di ba? hahaha)... It's sharing yourself, your word vomits, personal experiences, beliefs, opinions, what-have-yous , psuedoness, stupidities, ~~excessive ideation~~ etc. in a public domain -- and just like Swastika, you can even arouse bickering... or some engaging exchange... or simply create your own catharsis.

Figure.2

On a literal note, on all the domesticated chores, I love doing the laundry the most. Whether using a batsa, a modern washing machine or a coin-operated one, the sight and smell of fresh laundry induces tulala thoughts. The ones you need to blog about ergo, the blog. LOL.

On my Tumblr name perkyautomatic
I think it's pretty self explanatory and it sums up how I could be at times. No need to overthink. :)

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

2011-03-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

First post from the 30-day blog challenge i posted earlier.

So, as instructed, i posted a recent picture of myself. That's me lying sidewards, on my bed, in my condo, a week back or so. I took that with Photo Booth.

Now, 15 things. It's actually a real effort to dig 15 interesting things about myself.

I like sitting in the front seat of a car. Whether I'm in my own car, someone else's, a cab or even in a jeep... Even when I'm chauffeured, i prefer sitting in front. I know, i don't usually vocalize this, or i don't insist it (especially when I'm riding with a lot of people or new people) but given my druthers, I'd sit in front. My friend Del tells people i sit in front when we ride a cab because I like to canoodle the radio unceremoniously... That's partly true. But sometimes, i sit there in painful silence. I just feel at home in the front seat. While writing this, i got interested and searched for "The Psychology of Sitting in Front" and well, i found little information. Enlighten me if you know its implications! :D
The thing i hate the most is when someone distracts me when I eat. That is probably one thing that annoys me to the bones. I eat good food - Most of the time, I exert thinking, money and effort in order to have a wonderful play on my palate. I do not swiver in spending much on one of the pleasures of life that I enjoy the most. I research and i involve myself with the food I eat. For some people it's sex, for me, it's food. I want to "learn" my food. If i don't like it, i leave it without even finishing half of it, but if I do, i finish it. And i go back for more. What i hate the most is when someone keeps expecting me to answer more often than normal, while eat,ng or when I'm in the middle of climaxing with my food. Or worse, somebody picks a personal or senseless argument while I eat. It destroys the entire experience of the food. Yes, I'm weird that way. FOOD is SEX. LOL.
I own a lot of make-up for someone who seldom use it. For people who are with me often, they know I normally do not wear make-up. Even when I was in the Real Estate industry, i rarely did wear make-up (that's why one of my clients gifted me with expensive make-up paraphernalia) but on the contrary, I own a LOT of make-up. Sometimes i just look at them, and keep them... MAC, Chanel, Chantecaille, Guerlain, YSL, Lancome are my favorites. Maybe I'm just lazy to wear make-up each day (Ironically, i buy lots of them). I am a wash-and-wear, out-of-bed-shower-then-go dressed-down kind of person. Or maybe, just maybe, I like the feeling of delayed gratification -- When people notice you look different because you don't do it everyday.
My body weight leans more to the left. My balance is off. I used to figure skate for years and I thought I had perfect balance. But people noticed that sometimes, when I wear flats, i limp when I walk. I got myself checked, and I found out that I am not balanced that way. My left foot has calluses but my right one, doesn't have any. I lean more to the left, and i had my boyfriend observe it. It shows how I carry my bag, and how I walk when I'm not wearing heels.
I used to keep a picture of Kean Cipriano in my planner when I was in (3rd year) college. My boyfriend teases me about this. Ang jologs kasi. (Pero Leo, puro picture mo na yung nasa wallet ko! :)) ) But i don't know - he's actually NOT my type. I like dark-skinned, smart, well-read, slightly-roughened huge-eyed guys. But maybe he falls under the jagged roughened types. Note: Hindi ako fan ng Calla Lilly pero fan ako ni Kean :) Jologs talaga. Imagine, picture sa planner! Parang kulang na lang notebook na cover ang mukha ng artista!!! LOL.

but OF COURSE, my boyfriend LEO beats the rock star out of this guy.

I keep a lot of pictures of my only sister - and I like her a lot too. Hindi na ako showy, even she isn't... but i really love my only sister. Yeah, sometimes, she can really be an instrument of ~~unjust vexation~~ but most of the time, she's great. I like tagging her along. When I was in college, and when I used to be a section editor and Editor-in-Chief, i tag her along my layouts and let her meet my friends. Some teenagers wouldn't dare tag a younger sibling to any teenage social interaction but.. wer ae different. I like having her around. Especially when she was likot-likot and smaller (now, she's bigger than me).We have an 8-year gap and I wish I had her sooner. But my mom suffered two miscarriages, so, she came 8 years late. So, whenever she needs pictures for school, she asks, not my mom, but me - for them.
I like coffee, but no cream, and sometimes i eat it with my rice. I don't like Caramel Machiattos or sweet and extremely-milkyversions of the roast. Sometimes i put cream or milk, but just minimal. And the weirdest part of all is that I eat it with rice. Like soup. Observe me one morning, and sometimes it's second nature to me - i don't even notice I'm doing it.
My hair doesn't curl (for too long). My hair is stick straight. That's why when my friends Lors, Jean and Maan asked me to join them for ParkJun's Volume Magic Wave, I hesitated and politely declined. I had it curled before, and paid a hefty lot for a perm, only to have it straight again 2 days after (it smelled like chemicals for weeks that followed). During my debut, they heated and curled it with benders for hours so it would stay long... It did. But for the last quarter of the evening, bumalik sa ka-unatan!
I am a borderline hypochondriac. I am not clinically diagnosed with that but i do search the Internet when i feel that something is off. Nakakaparanoid. But I'm just afraid to the core that I find out something is wrong when its too late. Last December 2008, i had stomach pains. I had myself checked, and boom, after a week a tumor had to be removed from my body. Yes, i lack several body organs already. Morbid-sounding, but true. I didn't ask for it. But i fear to go through all that again. I didn't even have a set of options because it was so urgent.
I like buying home-stuff. I know. Its kinda "mommy" already, but ever since i started living alone 6 years ago, home decor, appliances, furniture, plates, kitchen stuff, were the things I look for when i go around shopping. I go gaga when I am in Gourdo or some antique furniture stuff. I also like Filipino themed sculptures and paintings, and I buy them for my turf. I also fancy buying flowers from Dangwa and arranging them. Yeah, yeah too much of Lifestyle channel. But that's a part of me most people wouldn't even know existed. Only a few friends know because I sometimes force them to be my guests so I can live out my Martha Stewart. LOL.
Ongpin-Sta.Cruz-Avenida-Divisoria-Recto is my natural habitat. Since I moved to Manila, these places has been my natural ecosystem. I was really sheltered growing up, and the convenience of riding a jeep and getting lost in Manila was an adventure I enjoy. Divisoria for the tela ( I love having my clothes tailored), Sta. Cruz and Ongpin for the culture and the food and Avenida and Recto for the "academic" cheapskates. Nevermind that it's farkin' hot, or if the commute is dust-inducing, or if the walks are long and the crowd is thick... These places are really close to my heart, and if some people find Makati's Greenbelt impressive, these places, ladies and gentlemen, are the versions of that, for me. It never fails to surprise me. Years had gone, and I always find something new. I walk around and get literally lost in the midst of Sta. Cruz, yet I always feel at home. It's familiar yet it's surprising. Spending the Chinese New Year here is also something I do and look forward to.
The first non-body part I observe when I see a person is their shoes. Yes, not their phone. Not their car, not their shirt. But something they usually take for granted but tells a lot about their taste, lifestyle or personality. I wouldn't explain elaborately the things i notice and what it implies but let's just say when you catch me looking at your shoe, i kind of made a quick shallow judgment of what your likes and dislikes are. LOL.
My favorite meal of the day = breakfast. Yes, i like breakfast and I like to eat it leisurely. I can actually prepare a mean, delicious one (ask Leo) but when I'm on my lazy-laid-backness, I'd rather have it made for me, not by me. Lately, I'm into CBTL's breakfast specials - the Salmon Scramble and the Eggs Benedict. Then the others: Any Filipino Breakfast. The Holiday Corned Beef Rice Leo makes. Chicken Nuggets. Pancit Canton (with egg). McDo's Big Breakfast. Sexpress. Beanhopper's. And Dat's Mix' Garlic Longanisa (any day, kahit everday) and coffee. Black coffee and all sorts of breakfast food.
The most despicable domestic chore of all: Ironing. I do not know how to iron my clothes. And it has been quite a struggle because I live alone most of the time and the wash-dry-~~press~~ services are too expensive for me to avail of. So, I had all these techniques - a folding cardboard, a steam iron, a traditional iron... I try to teach myself, but I always fail!!! The worst part of all, I have three closets of clothes in my unit. It's a chore to arrange it when the laundry comes, let alone iron it. Domestic skills are something that comes in handy when you live alone. Oh well, that's one thing I really wish to learn - plantsa!
My room in our QC home is themed. The theme: Mickey Mouse. Yes, im 22 years old and I own a Mickey Mouse room. Consider my personality, and how my condo looks and you'll know that it has been a struggle to accept that I am going to live with Mickey Mouse longer than any 20+ year old would. It's not the jologs mickey room with plastic posters ha. My room, from the furniture to the color, to the carpet, has Disney's main mouse as it's inspiration. It's a modern take on Disneyland and it was my mom's idea. I never complained (as if I could?!) My shelves has Mickey's gloves at both ends, he peeks with his hands and half of his face from my headboard. I won't say i was thrilled when I saw it - as they renovated it without my permission (thinking i had my own creative freedom in interior designing my condo) so, I learned to love and accept it na lang. My sister has a more pan-dalaga room and it's awkward when visitors see it... but hell, who has that, right?

The 15 things took longer to write than expected. I had more to put but constraint said 15. So there. Good start. Challenge 2 tomorrow =)

The 30-day challenge

2011-03-17T22:38:00.004+08:00

The 30-Day Challenge

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr Blogger name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out aboutTumblr Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

This is my attempt to revive my blog. That has... well.. long been sleeping soundly. I took this from a high school friend of Leo's. Let's see if this can be my knack :D

Goodbye Kama.

2011-01-11T01:48:00.001+08:00

Originally posted in Facebook Notes January 11, 2011.

Today, my bed since i started living alone is gone. I gave it away to someone who might need the comforting sleep it gave me.I wasn't able to give my bed a proper goodbye :( I should have snuggled and slept longer this morning :( Hence, a letter.

So here...

Dear Bed,

Sorry, i wasn't that cheesy to name you. Now, i realize, i should name my things for sentimentality purposes, since Iam a sentimental cheesy person, as much as I would like to deny it :)) Seriously now... Last night was our last night. And I would just like to say you were an awesome non-living thing. You never gave me backaches and I had no nightmares sleeping on you. Four years, you saw me as I struggled to balance my new life , alone. Through the heartaches, loneliness, frustrations... Through the good times, newspaper layouts, sleepovers; and the times when i sink in to you because of exhaustion, and the times I just hung out 'cos slumber disliked me or i had to do away with the sleep to do my academic and extra-curricular obligations. You were with me through it all and you have given me the comfort of sleep when no one could. I wish the new bed (which i would name) would be the same. My life was made better by a non-living thing, which I could only hope had some sort of spirit to hear my "thanks, great bed!" letter.

I really hope, that even though you are a non-living thing, and you couldn't actually feel the expression of my attachment, that the trees cut to make you, knows that they have served a great purpose. You were more than a bed. May you be of great service to your next owner =)

Thank you. I love you.

Of things yellow and impulsive? Behold, Grand Teleserye of the Philippine Political Milieu

2009-09-12T11:42:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: I may be totally counterintuitive right now, but for someone who wants to live her entire life in this country, see this as a statement from genuine concern. So pardon me if this is too insensitive or disorganized.

There has been a clamor for change in the country. Maybe because after three revolutions, there has still haven’t been any sincere, meaningful and lasting change. Just very recently, a known democracy icon has passed and it refreshed memories of moments where there has been a spark of hope for the country. Whether or not the expectation from that hope was fulfilled is given little importance.

In the Philippines, I have noticed that people tend to pay more intention to the cinematic dramatics of a matter than the actual feature, function or result of it. It’s not whether one has delivered, it’s more on whether one likes or does not like a person for some trivial, superficial reason or maybe some tear-jerking moment of the politician on television.

Our nation’s life is so backward that we liken it to proverbial Pinoy teleseryes wherein the Filipino’s are forever “api” or that we need that flowery moment of graceful unity, that unfortunately, lasts for, well, at most, a couple of months.

Sometimes, we fail to rationalize, weigh the pros and cons and derive the best solution mix because we are so caught in that moment of sentimental brouhaha. In doing that, we become more and more helpless. We fail to look at the essentials. Advertisements here, a couple guesting in noon time tv shows, perfect marketing by the interest-ridden media and voila! instant winner! Basta patok sa kadramahan ng mga tao, pwede na. di bale kung inutil. uso eh. Sa huli, kahit may eksena pang pampelikula, ang taumbayan pa rin ang “api” sa teleserye ng Pilipinas.

Kailangan ba, parang mga bida tayo sa teleserye? Lugmok at sirang-sira bago makabangon? Baka naman mas masalimuot pa ang abutin natin, baka, sa halip na makabangon, kaiinin na tayo ng kumunoy ng pagpapawalang-bahala natin?

Maybe that’s why we’ve always been short of statesmen – more often than not, our congressmen, senators and presidents are more concerned with their moment in the spotlight, working up some hell of emotional-filled moment - fit to be awarded in some acting ceremony - than the real labor involved in building a nation that has been destroyed over and over again. Sadly, our leaders, who are also Filipinos, who share the same heritage, history and ancestors, end up making a business out of the hopes and hearts of the Filipinos – naïve and vulnerable as we already are.

Time and again symbols of unity, of democracy, of independence and of freedom as in the words of A. Navarra, are put on a pedestal, printed on shirts and forgotten after a benefit concert. Just as Navarra has said, we should have a bomb for each of us so that it can blow up in our faces so we can sit dazed and confused… wondering what we have done we are so called intellect! Sure, that may be some sort of figure of speech but really, why haven’t we been thinking rationally?

One, we have not held a cause as long as we should so that it can take effect. We leave the old; get hold of a new until the former loses all chances for resolve. I bet whatever the Philippines is so passionate right now, will be a thing of the past once the new year comes. We forget the meat of an issue after a new issue comes along. Second, we are convinced too easily. We deserve the BEST. Let us demand the best. We settle for who CAN win, but if THEY DO win, are they REALLY capable of leading? Why don't we choose first someone who is qualified in all aspects and then work up the campaign. We dont need any "magic", more so, our pambato should not be compromised because we believe in this "magic".

In being such a bunch of zombies, watching the news by some overbearing media people, and believing whatever they say as important to us. We remain spectators of this Grand Teleserye of the country’s political milieu.

So, the people who fought for this country’s growth and freedom, wind up as rotting cadavers, simply rotting cadavers of flesh or plain hard bones– who gave their lives for a nation of gullible immature morons who can’t even think of their own welfare.

Isn’t that enough to behoove us to remember that we have failed many times in what we initially thought as the ‘solution-in-a-person’ and ‘instant-cure’ and that choosing so recklessly, came with a very costly consequence? Two legitimate revolutions and we still haven’t changed… a single bit.

More and more, the burden of the initiative to change has been passed, thrown and put on the backs of certain individuals… In this case, one individual. Kawawa naman siya, paano kung hindi pa pala talaga niya kaya, we’ll wind up kicking that symbol of hope out again? O baka mamatay na ang pag-asa natin ng tuluyan?

People it should not be one’s person’s burden... Ang nangyayari, the hopes of the nation is dependent on the success of someone we chose out of, well, their bloodline.

Kapag nandoon na ang manok, nawawala na ang tutok. Balik sa dating-gawi ang lahat ng tao. Pag may nangyari, nasa isa lang ang sisi. At tila, ang mga nagwalang-bahala at walang ginawa, walang sala. Nakakapanlumo ‘di ba?

The ancient Greek said, the state is ‘man writ large’. The state is similar to a man as a living body composed of several organic parts. Whatever pain is suffered by an organic part, is suffered by the whole body. Likewise, when corruption and greed breeds, in just a small part of the system, the whole body feels it. Hindi lang mahalaga kung ulo ang tiwali – kung kahit sa bewang, sa singit-singit, kahit sa kalingkingan ng daliri ay nanalaytay ang kurapsyon at kasakiman, kahit magpalit pa tayo ng ulo, – masakit pa rin ang kabuuan.

What do we need right now? Moral ascendancy, right? I think, that is our best interest. the government is that CORRUPT. Comparing it to the course of social evolution, every man must be an organic part of the body- a functional, enabled and ennobled part– in order for the whole body to fulfill its need. So, placing the load on the back on just one person or just one little part of the body can backfire on us. Big time.

It is really a system overhaul, an attitude overhaul, so we can fix the whole body, or in this case, the whole nation. Now, choosing just one thoughtlessly and relying on one because of faulty reasons, is a double-bladed sword. Why can't we choose the one then make them winnable? Not the other way around - we choose the winnable candidate then just pray they are gonna be good leaders.

Richard Gordon made a lot of sense in the papers today, (and although I do work for him, I am not entirely decided on whether I’ll vote for him if ever he will run for any position and I am NOT campaigning him. Honestly, I was eyeing on someone else. Not a senator.) – Leadership is EARNED. It is NOT inherited. A good story helps but whether the idea can translate to charisma, or more importantly, whether a person can BE what he is expected to be, is an entirely different story.

Naniniwala lang kasi ako sa Pilipinas at sa Pilipino. Matagal ng nasa posisyon ang “person of the moment”… sa totoo lang, sablay eh. Kung gusto naman talaga niya baguhin ang Pilipinas, matagal na niyang nasimulan gawin yun. Pero, bakit halos wala akong makita. The people does not just deserve to win, the people, this nation, deserves nothing short of the best.

Personally, I believe that nation building is not a hype-driven thing. It’s hard work. And I’m sorry but in the middle of Noynoy Aquino hype, other more qualified candidates are dropped on the sidelines. I hope all the voters will do their homework.

Hinto

2009-03-22T18:19:00.000+08:00

May oras na itinakda para sa lahat. Pag nag-umpisa, matatapos. Pag nabuhay, namamatay.

Noon, sumabay lang ako sa ikot ng mundo. Kung saan direksyon ako dalhin, malugod kong sinusundan.

Ngunit, huminto na ang ikot ng mundo ko. Hindi ko alam kung panandalian o pangmatagalan pero nadalumat ko na ang pangangailangan para ako naman ang umusad.

Ang problema lang, kakalagapak ko lang. Lugmok, lupaypay at mahina. Wasak pa ang diwa ko sa pinsala ng delubyo.

Ayoko pang tumayo at kumilos.

~~Lecheng buhay 'to,/s>~~

Maligamgam

2009-03-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

1:59AM, Unit1510, Madilim.

Usapang Maligamgam...

Maligamgam!

Ito ang timpla na matagal-tagal ko na ring binabalutbot. Minsan kapag nilagay ko ang kamay ko sa timba, napapaso ako sa sobrang init. Minsan naman, napaghihinaan na ako dahil sa sobrang lamig.

Madalas, sinusuong ko na lang ang maaari kong maramdaman - mapaso, manghina. Binubuhos ko na lang sa sarili ko. Iniisip ko, baka saka-sakaling katawan ko na lang ang bahala sa pag-angkop sa sidhi ng init o lupit ng lamig.

Kaya, lang tao lang naman ako. Mahirap labanan ang totoong pakiramdam ng katawan.

Nagpupuno na lang ako ng panibago, pero nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa.

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung makukuha ko pa yung tamang halungkap sa init at lamig.

Nakakainis. Sayang ang tubig.

Thirteen

2009-03-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

Thirteen //

One.

Today, I was invited to the US Embassy. I met Christie Kenney and a handful of publication editors and student leaders. Well, you know what? I really liked their Peach Iced Tea *laughs* (I know, how trivial!). I felt a bit more comfortable here than when I was invited to the Philippine Embassy in Brunei (ASEAN Youth Summit Stint in May). Well, maybe because the set-up was informal. in a nutshell, I learned one important thing from this, great people answer hard questions. Wala lang.

Two.

The emotional-euphoric-happy EB Dinner I hosted at KKK.The evening..... It was more than what we all expected. EB0809, remember - We set the standard. Alam nyo na lahat ng namagitan ng gabing iyon. Congratulations to us. I love you with all of my heart. Toyo Love.

Three.

i missed Kirby's/Kay's/Lawrence' swimming party. i missed to see my high school barkada tonight. Sorry bro, there was really something i had to attend to. Bawi na lang ako sa 28th. I really planned to do rush to Wack Wack but It was nearly impossible. i miss you guys to bits.

Four.

I realized, nothing really lasts. And its hard to accept... But just as someone told me today - I have to, if there is still a speck of self respect within me. Its so depressing. It crushes me. But as for now, I'm really... really staring at a blank wall. I cant move forward, and its to painful to look back.

Five.

Its very bad to count or measure or quantify. Especially, if you only count the bad and not the good. Its very bad. It hurts people. It really does. No wonder i hate math.

Six.

At a certain point, giving back is not the best thing to do.

Seven.

Retainers ARE important. Wear them if you have one. i'm stubborn and the consequences are apparent!

Eight.

When you do something, make sure you'll never ever regret it. You only have one short life.

Nine.

It comes back to you. What you do, it always comes back to you one way or another. In a moment you don't expect.

Ten.

Singing horribly is a therapy.

Eleven.

Let it go if and only if you really have to. And if you do, make sure you let it ALL go.

Twelve.

When you cant reach the last number on your list, don't be too hard on yourself. Keep it real. Do your best. But if it doesn't make the cut, don't think you're not good enough. Try again, maybe not now... but some other day... leave a blank space and fill it out when you already can, be persistent, be determined.... but if it will never ever be something you can reach after everything - well, forgive yourself.

Pet Society Lessons

2009-02-18T19:50:00.000+08:00

*Disclaimer: maiintindihan mo lamang ito kung naglalaro ka ng Pet Society

Pet Society Lessons ni Karla G.

(mula sa pag-aalaga kay Petunia)

1. Halikan at yakapin mo lahat ng kapitbahay mo, tataas ang antas mo sa lipunan.

2. Ang hindi naliligo, pinagpapala.

3. Maswerte ka kapag may kaibigan kang ang pangalan ay D.A.

4. Pupusta ka dapat sa hubad.

5. Pwedeng maligo kahit saan, sa harap nino man.

6. Pwede mong sabunin ang kapitbahay mo - they wont mind.

7. Kapag sinuklay mo sila, sasaya at uungol sila.

8. Pwede ka magparetoke ng ilang bahagi ng katawan at mukha ng pet mo - pati gender, basta may pera ka. :P

9. Guy-to-guy kissing is perfectly normal

10. Dito, ang tae literal na ginto.

11. Ang mga kaibigan mong may kaibigang langaw, pagkakakitaan mo.

12. Magaan lang ang sofa at ref.

13. Kung gusto mo mamigay ng pangkabuhayan showcase - walang pipigil sayo.

14. Madalas kang mananalo sa lotto.

15. Maiinis ka sa mga kaibigan mong hindi nakakalimot maligo, kumain at mangyakap.

16. Pwede kang maglakad sa neighbood ng nakahubad

18. Hindi biro ang muscles na madedevelop ng iyong kamay.

19. Kung wala kang mouse, bibili ka.

20. At higit sa lahat, kahit hindi ka mahilig mag-facebook, gagamitin mo ito para lang sa pet society

Teka, pambata ba talaga tong pet society? :P

for this very moment is the only one I have for sure.

2009-02-12T01:07:00.001+08:00

Its almost sunrise and I haven’t slept. I can’t believe that for some time now, I have been a prisoner of my little narrow box. I guess, for several times in our lives we shall really feel we are in these boxes: unable to move, unable to function and unable to be happy. We have to destroy these boxes and come out of it, enter a new world until it will reduce again, into a four-cornered space that’s a little tapered for your taste. We demolish our history to become what we can be. This evolution is inevitable: some avoid it, and end up terribly stuck in a black hole of stagnancy. A leap of faith to the unknown is necessary – and Iam, Iam leaving some things behind and keeping and holding on to things that matter most… to the people who matter most. Its not much of a task to know who and what is worth keeping - you'll know who you'll take along. I know who I'll take along. :-) Armed with good memories and a beloved few, I must summon from myself the strength to let go of the familiar, for that is the only true courage there is. This movement forward is of great importance, I cannot live in the past glory; I shall remember that well but for now, living at this moment shall be my ultimate goal – for this very moment is the only one I have for sure.

Mga action stars in deep shit

2009-02-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

Eddie Garcia: Marami ka pang bigas na kakainin!

FPJ: Hindi ako kumakain ng bigas, Major. Sinasaing ko muna bago kong kakainin. Ikaw Major, palay palang, kinakain mo na.

Eddie Garcia : Shit!

FPJ: Shit ka rin!

-EDDIE GARCIA & FERNANDO POE JR. in KAPAG PUNO NA ANG SALOP II

Next Life

2009-02-04T20:03:00.001+08:00

Woody Allen and his quirky take on the next life :-)

Classic!

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.

Virgos

2009-01-31T20:26:00.000+08:00

After almost a complete orbit around the sun, I realized that I have been in the perfect beach vacation. When the waves crash against me, taking a heap of sand from where i stand, I lose my balance - but i trust the ground i stand on, and have not a speck of fear - i know that in my descent it won't let me down. In this beach vacation, we collapse into an inertia of cozy silence, in engaging talk, in a wad of routine – trivial to some, but it’s the kind of triviality that brings bliss. You probably do the same things, but find everything so satisfying you cant do it any other way. Then you return home from your beach vacay, people ask you how it was: you don’t exactly remember any details or recall everything you did to satiate your time, but you know you exactly what it feels like to be there - happy and worthwhile. That is where I have been lately... and I'll probably end up having a prolonged beach vacation for the rest of my life. :-)

Buti na lang! Hahaha.

2009-01-26T19:52:00.000+08:00

In a glimpse, my life has evolved into something else. I ended 2008 with a CUT. I now walk with an abdominal binder and a back support, and I have a 20 cm long vertical stitch navel down. It was just December when I found out about a Mature Terratoma in my left ovary, that was initially 18x11x6cm then 23x18x7cm and finally it grew to a humongous 25x25x10cm. Yes, they had to take it out. My right ovary was also partially cystic… At that time, my future didn’t seem to be so bright. In a matter of 15 days upon its discovery, I was nipped in a cold and sterile operating room – sedated, with a syringe of general anesthesia planted on my spinal cord. In a matter of minutes, I escaped consciousness with blunt tears flowing down my eyes. I wasn’t afraid to die. I just felt sorry that I may never live a normal life again… and may never live at all.

Honestly, I wasn’t able to digest the two-week chaos, fully. I didn’t have time to go to faith healers or Chinese medicine doctors. They had to cut me open. ASAP. I was in half disagreement with all that was happening, but it came to a point when, in the few moments I talked to God, I didn’t ask for anything… I just surrendered. In daily lingo, bahala ka na. I wanted to pray that I retain an ovary because I’m quite young and I still wanted a family in the future; I wanted to pray (hard) that after the biopsy, no cancer will be found; I wanted to pray that whatever may happen, my loved ones should be able to accept it… I didn’t pray for that. I wanted to ask, bargain and beg. I didn’t. I figured out, I was fated to go through this and I have no right to question Him. All I did was surrender. I knew everything would be all right. It was this moment that all I thought I believed in was overturned. I am not the boss in my life. Something can take away everything from me, and I can’t whine and punch it in the face if I wanted to. I am a speck of dust in this universe. Saying that what happens to us is what we choose is part sham: I didn’t choose this. If I did, I’ll choose the other way around! But it felt good accepting and surrendering. I am powerless but I felt protected. Whatever was waiting for me, I was ready.

Fast-forward. Other people narrated everything all that took place after my 3-hour surgery and another 3 hour dizzy stay in the O.R. to me. It was quite weird how the accounts of a very serious point in my life will not be of my own memory. Parang minuto lang sakin pero ang tagal pala nila naghintay. Before my surgery, my mother was freaking out like crazy... my sister talked to me like I was going to die. I worry about them more.. There were also my friends – some endured pre-op SOP with me, some accompanied me until I reached O.R., some (most HS friends) slept in for New Year (my oophorectomy and appendectomy was a day after new year), some slept n for days, most texted, a lot called…some came in to visit, and some to reconcile. It was surreal. I had never seen myself in this situation before. My family was there in through it all. My father came back from Pangasinan with my half-brothers, my lolos and lolas, titos and titas, family friends, cousins. Parang lamay lang. haha.

In one moment when I was unconscious, I could hear them talk about how I was when I was ‘alive’. It was like a funeral where the dead isn’t dead. It was Absurdly funny. I couldn’t talk back; make corrections, laugh, comment or whatever. That moment I was feeble and weak. But I tell, you… It was liberating. I didn’t feel the need to explain myself or TALK for that matter. I was there, feeling life as I felt lifeless. Cliché sounding but I couldn’t phrase it in any other manner. That time, morphine was flowing in my veins; I could hardly feel any pain… only numbness. It was numbness that brought a solitary bliss. I was just happy to be alive… even when numb.

Today, I’m still recovering. I’m feeling almost ad normal as before and I try very hard to be as regular and normal. I can feel the twitching pain in my stomach sometimes, but I could walk… and talk… Even with a 20 centimeter scar, and even if I lost my left ovary and appendix (its useless anyway) I have a right miracle ovary that lost all the cysts it was supposed to have (it turned out to be physiological cysts)… I have my appetite back too! I have no cancer and I just started going back to class. I still am on a semi-leave with my publication/editorial work… I miss it but its fun to have some time for myself. I am planning to live a healthier life with a year of Bikram yoga, gym and a new diet J a lot of things will end for me this year – my term as Editor-in-Chief, my college life and my ‘Taft’ life. However, more things will begin for me. I realized that a lot of the things I worry about aren’t worth worrying for. God is so cool. Pwede pala ganon!? Haha. Before this, I always required control and I was in pursuit of perfection…Yun nga lang, hindi pala talaga ako in-control all the time. Sa makakakita sa peklat ko – I know they will be in awe (in a negative way). Some may see it as a permanent flaw that they will not want to have ever… Pero ako, im just overwhelmingly happy that all I have is a scar. I may be less of what I was (literally) but I am learning more about who I am. Tangina! Cheers to life! Buti na lang buhay pa ako. Gusto ko pa kumain.

From the greater silence, I shall return

2008-12-23T19:29:00.001+08:00

And now it was evening.

And Almitra the seeress said, 'Blessed be this day and this place and your spirit that has spoken.'

And he answered, Was it I who spoke? Was I not also a listener?

Then he descended the steps of the Temple and all the people followed him. And he reached his ship and stood upon the deck.

And facing the people again, he raised his voice and said:

People of Orphalese, the wind bids me leave you.

Less hasty am I than the wind, yet I must go.

We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us.

Even while the earth sleeps we travel.

We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind and are scattered.

Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have spoken.

But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, then I will come again,

And with a richer heart and lips more yielding to the spirit will I speak.

Yea, I shall return with the tide,

And though death may hide me, and the greater silence enfold me, yet again will I seek your understanding.

And not in vain will I seek.

If aught I have said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.

I go with the wind, people of Orphalese, but not down into emptiness;

And if this day is not a fulfillment of your needs and my love, then let it be a promise till another day. Know therefore, that from the greater silence I shall return.

The mist that drifts away at dawn, leaving but dew in the fields, shall rise and gather into a cloud and then fall down in rain.

And not unlike the mist have I been.

In the stillness of the night I have walked in your streets, and my spirit has entered your houses,

And your heart-beats were in my heart, and your breath was upon my face, and I knew you all.

Ay, I knew your joy and your pain, and in your sleep your dreams were my dreams.

And oftentimes I was among you a lake among the mountains.

I mirrored the summits in you and the bending slopes, and even the passing flocks of your thoughts and your desires.

And to my silence came the laughter of your children in streams, and the longing of your youths in rivers.

And when they reached my depth the streams and the rivers ceased not yet to sing.

But sweeter still than laughter and greater than longing came to me.

It was boundless in you;

The vast man in whom you are all but cells and sinews;

He in whose chant all your singing is but a soundless throbbing.

It is in the vast man that you are vast,

And in beholding him that I beheld you and loved you.

For what distances can love reach that are not in that vast sphere?

What visions, what expectations and what presumptions can outsoar that flight?

Like a giant oak tree covered with apple blossoms is the vast man in you.

His mind binds you to the earth, his fragrance lifts you into space, and in his durability you are deathless.

You have been told that, even like a chain, you are as weak as your weakest link.

This is but half the truth. You are also as strong as your strongest link.

To measure you by your smallest deed is to reckon the power of ocean by the frailty of its foam.

To judge you by your failures is to cast blame upon the seasons for their inconsistency.

Ay, you are like an ocean,

And though heavy-grounded ships await the tide upon your shores, yet, even like an ocean, you cannot hasten your tides.

And like the seasons you are also,

And though in your winter you deny your spring,

Yet spring, reposing within you, smiles in her drowsiness and is not offended.

Think not I say these things in order that you may say the one to the other, 'He praised us well. He saw but the good in us.'

I only speak to you in words of that which you yourselves know in thought.

And what is word knowledge but a shadow of wordless knowledge?

Your thoughts and my words are waves from a sealed memory that keeps records of our yesterdays,

And of the ancient days when the earth knew not us nor herself,

And of nights when earth was upwrought with confusion,

Wise men have come to you to give you of their wisdom. I came to take of your wisdom:

And behold I have found that which is greater than wisdom.

It is a flame spirit in you ever gathering more of itself,

While you, heedless of its expansion, bewail the withering of your days.

It is life in quest of life in bodies that fear the grave.

There are no graves here.

The Farewell | Kahlil Gibran

A bitch fit

2008-12-02T04:44:00.000+08:00

Douuuchebag!!!

i peeve at those who fool people into thinking they’re wiseass whatevers when they just assimilate their thoughts and ideas… no novelty, no valuable alteration or improvement of thought - just plain paraphrasing. Its like your Vonnegut yesterday, Derrida today, Plato tommorow and some other random thing you stumble on, on the following days… And maybe, your greatest profanation is your self-gratifying climb to the pedestal. How dare you claim you are in the league of such great thinkers, individuals who derived their virgin ideas through a series of avant-garde cerebration. When you are just a mere paraphraser…I hope you discover one day how delusional you are. You self-aggrandizing son of a bitch. You’re nothing but a suppressed little monkey.

Yuck. Pwe. Loser.

Hahahahahaha :))

[a product of insomnia, bad reads, imbalanced hormones and wendys biggie]

Pinoy Pelikula Cliche

2008-11-27T09:25:00.000+08:00

crazzzyy funny :p

Pinoy cliche

Pinoys love watching movies be it on the big screen or a DVD marathon in the comfort of their own sanctuary, while feasting on their home made pop corn or Boy Bawang from their suking tindahan (sari-sari store). The finicky taste of the viewers is ever evolving so the trite and usual scenes or formulas won’t make a hit with the general audience anymore. People crave for new concepts, ideas and twists. Nonetheless, the scenes below are some of the signature things that a typical Pinoy film has—tricks that we’ve seen over and over again. (and again).

The long dialogue- The villain and the hero finally have a one-on-one encounter. But instead of pulling the trigger, they will have a long dialogue first before they realize that they are there to kill each other not to have an emotional chat.

The last wish- The protagonist or his leading lady will be shot, but before his/her last breath, he/she will still have time to utter his or her last wish.

The car chase- The long car chase along Regalado with the fresh-from-the-junk shop-get away car. The car will do a somersault and end up exploding.

Better late than never- After hundreds of bullets and casualties, the policemen finally will enter the picture, acting like superheroes ready to save the day.

Stupid and funny sidekicks- The big boss villain’s henchmen are always stupid or lousy, while the hero’s sidekick is funny.

The “IT” girl- The love interest of the hero will be held as a hostage or the other way around—the female hostage will eventually be the love interest of the hero.

The Magic Circle- The attackers will circle the hero and wait for their turn to attack him one at a time. Ironic but true. Which makes one wonder why they don’t just attack the hero at the same time so that the fight will be over in a matter of seconds.

Magical Guns- Guns that never run out of bullets and gunmen never hitting their targets despite the raining bullets.

Bakit ngayon ka lang? (Why only now?)-The leading man is about to get married when he meets another woman and they fall in love with each other, leaving the poor fiancée behind.

The old warehouse- The ultimate meeting place and hideout for kidnappers. This is also the place where the fighting scene takes place.

Catch me when I fall- The girl goes out of balance and falls from a chair or simply stumbles when she’s just walking. She meets the eye of the boy and one of two things will happen—either they’ll feel uneasy towards each other or they’ll end up kissing.

Poor boy meets rich girl or vice versa- A poor, handsome boy meets a beautiful, rich girl and they fall for each other. It can also be the other way around.

What’s my name again?- The lead character has an amnesia through an accident and just one bump in the head is all it takes for his/her memory to get back.

From rags to riches- The poor, underdog heroine who is being maltreated by her mother will soon find out that she’s just adopted and really belongs to a filthy rich family.

Runaway Bride- On the day of the wedding itself, the bride will either stood up her groom or won’t say “I Do” and will ran away from his groom with her long, flowing wedding gown .

mula sa WikiPILIPINAS

Laban.... tapos bawi? LABO!

2008-11-27T04:22:00.001+08:00

Laban.... tapos bawi?

Ang aking pitak para sa Nobyembre. Abangan ang kabuuan ng Ang Pahayagang Plaridel sa Sabado. Kunin din ang ispesyal na isyu ng APP sa newsbins bukas.

NABANGGIT ko na sa aking komentaryo noong isang buwan ang pagtataka ko sa paggagapang ng Student Council (SC) sa University Student Government (USG). Ngayon, hindi na pagtataka ang aking nadarama kung hindi ang lubos na pagkadismaya sa inaasal ng mga kapwa ko mag-aaral na dapat sana’y kumakatawan sa interes ng nakararaming Lasalyano. Niratipika ang panukalang USG ng SC sa ginawang pagpupulong ng Legislative Assembly (LA) kasama ang ilang miyembro ng Executive Committee noong ika-14 ng Nobyembre. Ginawa nila ito matapos ang isang plebisito sa MyLasalle noong Oktubre 13-19 na in-extend nila hanggang Oktubre 21-25.

Ngunit, muling binawi ng LA ang desisyong ito sa ginanap na pagpupulong ng LA noong ika-21 ng Nobyembre. Nagkaroon daw kasi ng isang pagkalito sa effectivity clause ng nasabing plebisito.

Bukod pa rito, alam niyo bang napag-usapan din sa pagpupulong ng LA noong Nobyembre 21 ang pagkakaroon ng isa pang ekstensyon sa ginanap na plebisito at na isasama ito sa balota sa gaganaping General Elections (GE)? Dagdag pa riyan, sa panayam ng APP sa isang LA Representative (na makikita niyo sa artikulo ukol dito), bukod sa nabanggit na suhestiyon, napag-usapan din ang pagkakaroon ng isang bagong plebesito na gaganapin din sa darating na GE. Ano?! Isang re-plebiscite ba kamo? Ekstensyon? Kabalintunaan ang parehong mungkahi sa konsepto ng isang plebisito. Kung sa unang plebisito, hindi na nagtagumpay ang panukala, marapat lamang na sundin ang resulta nito at hindi na i-extend. Mawawalan kasi ng saysay ang isang plebisito. Bakit ka pa ba gagawa ng plebisito kung ipagpipilitan mo lang at uulit-ulitin ito hanggang sa maipasa ang panukala?

Binawi man ang pagraratipika, hindi maitatanggi ng SC na muntik nang ipasa ang isang hilaw na USG sa lubos na pagmamadali ng mga tagapagtaguyod nito. Naalala ko tuloy ang Monday U-Break issue - hindi ba’t galit na galit ang SC noong muntik nang ma-implement ang Monday Free Day? Ngunit ngayon sa USG, parang, sa halip na bigyan pa ng mas makabuluhang talakayan, humanap na lang ang SC ng palusot para ipasa na ito ng tuluyan.

Hindi ko masikmura ang pagka-trapo ng kapwa ko Lasalyano. Ano ba sa tingin ng SC ang ginagawa nila ngayon? Railroading iyan! May pinagkaiba ba kayo sa mga trapong dahilan ng bulok na sistema pamahalaan? Sa halip na bigyan ng pansin ng SC ang mga TUNAY na isyung nakaaapekto sa mga estudyante tulad ng Monday Free Day, Dress Code, ID Policy, Php 20 Library fine at Venue Rental fees, nakatuon ang atensyon nila sa pagpasa ng isang bagay na wala pang makahulugan at masusing debate.

Nahulog na nga ba nang tuluyan ang mga inaasahang boses ng Lasalyano sa kumunoy ng pagiging makasarili? Naisip ko tuloy: Minamadali ba ninyo ang USG dahil nais niyong nasa mga pangalan ninyo ang kredito ng pagkakapasa nito? Nais niyo lang ba itaas ang bandila ng mga partido ninyo sa darating na GE? Nakakahiya naman kung ganoon. Ano ba ang halaga na bigyang kredito ang iyong pangalan sa pagkakapasa ng USG kung sa katagalan, aalahanin ng Lasalyano ang panahong ito bilang taon kung kailan brinaso ng SC ang desisyon ng restructuring ng Student Government. Oo, gagawa ka ng kasaysayan. Kasaysayan na matatandaan bilang taon na ang pang sariling kapakanan ang inalala ng SC at hindi ang pangkalahatang kabutihan ng pamayanang Lasalyano. Hanggang sa paggawa ng polisiya, mayroon pa ring namumulitika. Tunay naman talagang nakakadismaya.

Sa ordinaryong Lasalyanong tulad ko, hindi man tayo nakaupo sa kanilang kinalalagyan, huwag mong hayaang manipulahin at apakan ang boses mo. Hindi ka tanga. Huwag kang manahimik sa isang tabi. Hindi ganitong uri ng SC ang nararapat sa iyo. Baka naman ang totoo, hindi sistema ang dapat baguhin, kung hindi ang mga taong na pumapaloob dito.

Palyadong Aktibismo

Mahalaga ang US Presidential Elections. Interesante. Marami akong kakilalang pinagdebatehan ang mga polisiya ni Barack Obama at John McCain. Maraming mga blog ang nakipagtalastasan ukol sa mainit na labanan. Oo, siguro nga, sa ilang paraan, maapektuhan tayong mga Pilipino. Sana lang, ang umaakitabong interes at malasakit na ibinibigay ninyo sa US Elections at sa hinaharap ng bansang Amerika ay umiral din sa pagkakataong ang hinaharap na ng bansa at lahi natin ang pinag-uusapan. Kung paano mo bigyan ng halaga at kung gaano mo pinag-aralan ang mga polisiya o kawalan ng polisiya ng kandidato sa Amerika, sana’y ganoon din ang pagpapahalaga mo sa mga polisiya, pulitika at pangyayari sa ating bansa. Mahalin mo ang bansa mo. Tingnan mo ang balat mo, at makikita mo ang totoo. Dito muna sa lupang kinagisnan mo pairalin ang aktibismo.

Joc-Joc at Cha-Cha

Isang saksakan ng sinungaling na Joc-Joc Bolante sa Senado ang natunghayan ko ng makinig ako sa mga pagdinig sa Fertilizer Fund Scam. Tama nga, kakambal ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw. Nga pala, hindi mo ba alam? Nilulunsad na naman ang Cha-Cha... bababa pa ba si Gloria Arroyo sa trono niya? Hindi na ako makapaghintay sa paglisan niya.

Patuloy na pagliyab ng ALAB

Pumipiglas. Marahil isa ito sa mga salitang maglalarawan sa Ang Pahayagang (APP) sa 24 na taong pamamalagi nito sa diwa ng kanyang mga mambabasa. Hindi lamang intelektwalisasyon ng wikang Filipino ang nais ng pahayagang ito, kung hindi ang intelektwalisasyon ng sarili. Ang pagtaguyod ng wika ay kasabay ng pagtaguyod sa pagkatuto, sa kamalayan, sa mapanuring kaisipan. Sa halos dalawa’t kalahating dekadang pamamalagi ng APP sa Pamantasang De La Salle, ngayon marahil ang taon ng ‘pagbabago’. Marami ang mga pagbabagong nagaganap sa bansa, sa Pamantasan at maging sa loob ng aming pinakamamahal na pahayagan, ngunit ito rin marahil ang taon ng muling pagkabog sa natutulog na Pilipino sa bawat Lasalyano para tumayo sa kanilang kinauupuan, hubaran ang nakagawian, hanapin ang katotohanan at pumiglas ng makabuluhan.

Mahirap magbingi-bingihan sa katotohanan, mahirap magsulat ngunit kinakailangan.

Simulan na ang himagsikan.

Terra Incognita

2008-11-24T22:26:00.001+08:00

Perhaps, it is truly the intensity of wanting something so badly that makes us convince ourselves that it is unfeignedly, sincerely, meant for us.

When you toss a coin into the air, before it even reaches your hand, you already settled the conclusion. It's because we are submerged in that intensity of wanting something, that in times when we feel that we need to be objective, we throw out an inquiry to the unknown, believing that such a thing shall cease any of our impulsiveness....or subjectiveness.

However, we just end up realizing, more and more, that our desire is so strong, that we make ourselves believe that it its inevitable that fate will side with that overwhelming inadequacy that 'needs' to be filled up.

When we get the 'wrong' side of the coin, we just return to tossing it until we finally get 'our' answer.

It is, no doubt, a dangerous thing to gain such an extreme obsession of achieving something but there is something uncannily beautiful about man surpassing fate, about man destroying limitation and about man, having that insatiable intensity of wanting something.

Wishy-Wishy Materialistic Wishlist

2008-11-19T20:51:00.000+08:00

In our office there were little post-it like circles posted on the wall which forms a Christmas Tree. We had to write our wishlists there. Anyway, this is an elaborate version of it. Haha.

Kate Spade canvass trifold calendar | $75 or the Kate Spade noel large debra organizer | $195
an iPhone
an iPod / whatever it is, i just want a big massive memory.
isang kilo ng Karma na soap from LUSH. (i just effin' love that smell!)
isang Macbook | white
The AB ROCKET!!! wahahaha...
a Shihtzu which will be obnoxiously named "pucha' by me and my associate editor, roma :)
usto ko ng bagong panty. size 10 ako sa Marks & Spencers. Prints please. Happy panties. Divi finds will do haha!
Gusto ko ng bagong memory card para sa SLR ko. agin, massive memory
Bagong USB with massive as in 16GB memory (ok, basta mas malaki sa 4GB - nawawala na si RAMBO :c )
ABS. gusto ko na talaga. hehe.
Body Shops Monoi Miracle Oil
BONSAI :)
DVD of the Cinemalaya and Cinemanila movies I missed because of publication work
Condo unit renovation. I'll do a Mr. BIG (of sex and the City fame) and do a solitary red wall in my room
A new bed
Super cute laptop sleeves by Snupped for my future laptop (NEO was stolen)
IM INTO BOOTS right now. Before I go crazy on online shopping consider this nice finds and BUY it for me :) haha! boots... I want ankle boots for OJT and a tall boot for whatevers... A Christian Louboutin Appollonia Padded Ankle Boots, Dior hermitage Bootie, Michael Kors Ava Buckle Boot or that Lace up Manolo Blahnik. Things which I will never buy for myself. i only splurge on Jimmy Choos.
Gusto ko nung mini-vacuum cleaner na dating binebenta sa Home TV shopping pero hindi ko na nakikita...haha!
that one thing.
A new kitchen lababo sa condo. Promise, its horrible! It'll break SOON.
Air Sanitizer (the one with the leaf thing design) i'm a frustrated clean-freak (frustrated because ang gulo ng condo ko)
Something i've never seen or tried before. Haha.
PAGKAIN.

So much for wish lists... We never write the things we REALLY wish for.

Happy Christmas and may you get your wishes :)

The Turn: Dance in Your Blood

2008-10-30T09:46:00.000+08:00

A secret turning in us

makes the universe turn.

Head unaware of feet,

and feet head. Neither cares.

They keep turning.

Keep walking though there's no place to get to.

Don't try to see through the distances.

Thats not for human beings. Move Within,

but don't move the way fear makes you move.

I stand up, and this one of me

turns into a hundred of me.

They say I circle around you.

Nonsense. I circle around me.

Dance when you're broken open.

Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.

Dance in the middle of the fighting.

Dance in your blood.

Dance, when you're perfectly free

Excerpts from 'The Turn'

- Rumi

May pinagkaiba ka ba sa tinutuligsa mo?

2008-08-19T21:22:00.002+08:00

"Isang mahalagang salik ang indibidwal sa isang mithiing ipinaglalaban. Kung susuriin, isang malaking bahagi ng kamalayan ang katuwiran. At ang katuwiran ay nakasalalay sa indibidwal. Bakit sa indibidwal? Walang sinuman ang maaaring mag-isip para sa iba. At mula rito, ating mahihinuha na sa kahit anong malaking ipinaglalabang mithiin, sa katuwiran at samakatuwid, sa indibidwal din, nakasalalay ang pagbuo ng isang pinaigting na kamalayan."

Ang kolum ko sa Plaridel ngayong Agosto.

PUMIPIGLAS0809

Noong huling mga araw ng Hulyo, nagwalk-out ang isang grupo ng mag-aaral sa ating pamantasan. Nang kapanayamin ko ang isa sa mga naglunsad nito, sinabi niya sa akin na ang paglaban sa kaugalian ng apathy ang kanilang pangunahing layunin. Kung nabasa ninyo ang aking mga kolum noong nakaraang taon at noong Hunyo ng kasalukuyang taon, marahil masasabi ninyo na ibang-iba ang aking mga pananaw sa isyung ito. Ngunit naniniwala ako na magkakaiba man kami ng paniniwala sa paraan ng pakikibaka, nagkakasundo naman kami na iisa ang aming layunin: ang magdulot ng isang klase ng pagbabago.

Para sa akin, hindi tama na basta iwaksi na lamang ang naturang walk-out bilang isang malaking pagkakamali at sabihing may iba pang pamamaraan (nang hindi naman isinisiwalat o ipinaliliwanag kung ano ito) sapagkat kung iyon lang naman ang gagawin ninyo, hindi ba’t parang isa rin kayong anti-thesis ng pinagsasabi ninyo? Isa itong makasarili at higit sa lahat, MAYABANG na pagtugon sa usapin. Kung hindi kayo sang-ayon sa kanilang pagdaing dahil para sa inyo ay wala itong katuturan, hindi ba’t kailangan rin ninyong ibalik sa sarili ang inyong kritisismo: ayaw ninyo ng kanilang pamamaraan ngunit walang ipinagkaiba ang inyong ginagawa sa pamamaraang inyong tinutuligsa – ganoon rin kayo, kaya wala kayong kredibilidad para sila’y tuligsain nang wala naman kayong naidudulot na bagong alternatibo sa pamamaraang iminumungkahi nila.

Binanggit ni Braganza patungkol sa kanilang pagkilos at ipinaglalaban na ang lahat ng positibo ay kanilang tinatanggap at ang lahat ng negatibo ay kanilang pinag-aaralan. Kung bukas din naman sila sa kritisismo, bakit hindi natin sabihin ang opinyon natin sa mga aspetong kailangan nilang pagbutihin o kailangan nilang baguhin. Bakit naman hindi? Sabi ko nga, hindi man ako sang-ayon sa kanilang pamamaraan, iisa lang naman ang layunin: pagbabago para sa kabutihan ng karamihan.

**

Tatlong bagay lang naman ang nais kong ipunto bilang kritisismo sa naganap na walk-out.

Una, ang indibidwal. Isang mahalagang salik ang indibidwal sa isang mithiing ipinaglalaban. Kung susuriin, isang malaking bahagi ng kamalayan ang katuwiran. At ang katuwiran ay nakasalalay sa indibidwal. Bakit sa indibidwal? Walang sinuman ang maaaring mag-isip para sa iba. At mula rito, ating mahihinuha na sa kahit anong malaking ipinaglalabang mithiin, sa katuwiran at samakatuwid, sa indibidwal din, nakasalalay ang pagbuo ng isang pinaigting na kamalayan.

Gusto kong itanong: Sa mga nag-walkout, bilang mga indibwal – ginagawa ba ninyo ang inyong pundamental na papel sa lipunan? Mabubuti ba kayong anak? Nagpapasa ba kayo ng mga assignment? Pumapasa ba kayo? Hindi ba kayo nagda-drugs? Tinatapon ba ninyo ang mga basura ninyo sa tamang lugar? Tumutulong ba talaga ang lahat sa inyo sa mahihirap? Simpleng mga tanong ngunit kung hindi ninyo ito masagot nang tuwiran, ano ang inyong karapatan para lumabas ng silid-aralan? Hindi ninyo kayang makipag-debate sa gobyerno sa loob ng silid-aralan ,tulad sa isang guro, o hindi ninyo kayang panindigan ang inyong mga maling gawain sa inyong mga magulang – ano ang karapatan ninyong hingin ang pagbaba ng isang pinuno ng pamahalaan? Kung bahagi kayo ng problema, wala kayong ipinagkaiba sa mga taong inyong tinutuligsa. Umupo muna kayo, bago kayo mag-walkout at harapin ninyo ang mga isyung kinakailangan ninyong harapin bilang mga taong may papel sa lipunan.

Sa mga political parties, at papangalanan ko na kayo: Tapat, Santugon – noong walk-out, ipinagmamalaki ninyo ang tungkol sa ‘nation-building’,’ progressive citizenry’, ‘social awareness’, political maturity, ‘revolution at your fingertips’ – mga bagay na iniugnay ninyo sa mga pagkilos gaya ng walk-out (na papatunayan kong sinabi ninyo sa mga talumpati ninyo sa RTR). Ngayon, hindi ko sinasabing sinusuportahan ko nang buong puso ang walk-out ngunit nais ko kayong tanungin, bilang mga pangunahing tagapaglunsad DAW ng mga ganitong pagkilos: Nasaan kayo noong walk-out? Nasa FROSH ELECTIONS kayo , nangangampanya. Gusto ninyong manalo at 'yun lamang ang pinagkaabalahan ninyo. Doon kayo nagsisimula, at doon din kayo natatapos. De latang mga talumpati - wala kayong ipinagkaiba sa mga trapo ng bansang ito.

Mula rito, napagnilayan ko na kinakailangan natin ng reporma sa loob ng Pamantasan higit saan man, bago tayo lumabas at hingin ang pagbaba ng isang pinuno ng gobyerno o pagbabago sa sistema ng pulitika, burukrasya, at moralidad sa bansa. Ang burukrasya, pulitika, kaugalian at maturity sa institusyong ito ay isa sa mga mahalagang suliranin na kailangan nating gamutin bago natin punahin ang mga nasa labas ng bakuran natin.

Pangalawa, batid ko ang pagnanais na magkaroon ng kamalayan. Ngunit, kamalayan sa ano? Gaya ng isang palaso, kinakailangan nating malaman kung ano ang ating aasintahin. Oo, kailangan nating magkaroon ng iisang direksyon. Hindi tayo makakaresolba ng problema kung sabay-sabay nating tutugunan ang mga ito. Magulo ‘yon. Kung makahanap man tayo ng isang tiyak na direksyon, panatilihin natin ang ating pagkilos at huwag itong bibitiwan hangga’t hindi ito nabibigyan ng solusyon. Hindi 'yung kapag tapos na ang mga rally, ang sigaw sa pagbabago eh babalik na tayo sa dati. Kinakailangan din nating maging consistent sa ating mga paninindigan. Higpitan natin ang pagyapos sa ating layunin at huwag tayong bibitiw kung may panibagong suliraning darating. Sa ganitong paraan, may pagbabago tayong makakamtan at higit sa lahat, maiiwan sa mga susunod na henerasyon.

Gaya ng mga sinulat ko dati, naniniwala ako na hindi natin kailangang gawing panakip-butas ang pagbabansag gaya ng pagtawag ng ‘imoral’ o ‘tiwali’ sa tunay na kinakailangan ng ating bansa: ang isang makahulugang debate ukol sa mga polisiya na magbibigay-daan sa mga konkretong pagbabago.

Sa La Salle, maraming makapangyarihan. Mga anak ng mga negosyante, abogado, pulitiko at tingin ko, buhat doon, kaya nating magkaroon ng isang konkretong pagkadlit sa bulok na sistema dahil kaya nating dalhin ang problema sa mesa at makipagtalastasan ukol sa mga polisiya at solusyon.

Panghuli, alam kong walang pagbabagong nagaganap nang daglian ngunit kailangan nating maging solution-oriented. Tandaan na ang ipinaglalaban ng isang pagkilos ang dapat na dahilan ng inyong pagsama at hindi dahil niyaya lamang kayo rito. Kung ganoon kasi, maaaring sabihing sensation lamang ang habol ninyo. Ngunit kung iisipin, kung isang pagkilos sa pamamagitan lamang ng pagsabi ng mga hinaing ang ating gagawin at walang pagbabago ang idudulot natin sa ating mga sarili, baka mauwi rin sa walang katuturang bagay ang paglaban natin sa ating pinaniniwalaan.

Sa unos, makabuluhan pa rin ang aking pagpiglas.

Bilang mga journalist, hinihingi namin ang truth at accountability sa araw-araw naming pagtatrabaho at sa pagkakataong kami’y magkakamali, ibibigay namin kung ano ang hinihingi namin sa ibang tao: ang katotohanan at higit sa lahat, ang pananagutan.

Poseurs

2008-08-14T00:16:00.001+08:00

I cannot believe the veneration given by children my age to the Filipino versions of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Ritchie – these socialites (or quasi-socialites) who travel in packs in bars, enter the bars through guest lists, sniff cocaine until their nose bled and talk about nothing, absolutely nothing worth anything. Actually, like them, I went through a phase of mindless partying too (well, except for the fact that they’re probably a hundred times richer than I am and that I am not a coke-sniffing missy) – partying, connection-abusing, not paying, and living on the afterglow of very expensive (but usually doled out) cocktails - but I’d like to think that unlike them, I indulged in more intellectually stimulating conversations in moments where I am in “parteeeh-mode”… but I don’t know. Maybe I’m just justifying my sleepless escapades because conversations during the apex of insane partying are usually about who’s with whom, who are wearing what, who smells, who doesn’t, who’s hitting on whom, who’s hitting on you, how you don’t like the music or how bored you are becoming…

Well, I wish I have truly outgrown that stage of regular reckless partying. I mean, I could still party, but not as often as I used to. I can still remember – it was always the same bunch of people in these parties, you see them, they see you… you exchange sweat by crossing and rubbing against (accidentally or not) against each other in the dazed and drunk moment of dancing or passing across a crowded room. You will be introduced to a throng of party-loving individuals, and that same moment, you try hard to grasp their first names yet even before you successfully put into memory some sense of identification, they kiss you cheek to cheek, ask you how you’ve been, try to have small talk while competing with how loud the music is and then perish with the crowd until you both say your short goodbyes.

It’s a glamorous way of life. I won’t say I won’t party anymore because for all we know, when my thesis is over – I’ll show up in the scene (but probably not as often as I usually did)…. It’s good to party, c’mon, I’m not going to be hypocritical and say it’s a BAD thing – but on a regular, often-than-it-ever-should-be frequency? I don’t think so.

Moreover, I think it’s more of how these bars are in general. I have developed a certain kind of resentment like of what I have against the government (what an analogy, a bar and the government). Some people go there as non-paying patrons, usually because they know people you’re suppose to know, and getting on “The List” makes the impression that “hey, this place is “exclusive”” and is supposed to make the bar fetching . And who do the bars confer that message of exclusivity? The paying mortals! Ladies and gentlemen, let’s call them the paying mortals who hide under the cloak of inferiority when they are actually the income-generating caboodle that is keeping these stuck-up party places alive.

Ironic, but these paying mortals don’t get to go inside the VIP rooms, or enjoy free booze and is usually neglected by the bar honchos. And they still, still constantly go there and stare at those privileged few as if they were some sort of demi-gods or whatever.

Hahaha. I wonder if its just Philippine culture but this kind of things manifest not just in bar encounters, but even in the arena of politics and of course, society. Common taxpayers are usually treated as secondary citizens yet they breathe money to the government more than what those exclusive-village residents give. Yet, in times where compensation is due, the rich just get it better than the common taxpayers, mostly because most of them rub elbows with people from the government or they ARE the people from the government and they just abuse whatever privilege they have.

Ok, so I’m generalizing…

Going back to partying,

I tell you, the better option is THIS – if you want to get drunk, and you want some real fun. Then the hottest place to be – is INSIDE your HOUSES!!! HOUSE PARTIES rock!!! You know, that down-to-earth BAHAY moment you don’t get overcharged, you get your alcohol half the price and best of all – Not unless nagpapa-cute ka, hindi mo kailangan mag-ayos ‘coz your with, hopefully, your best buds and they wont care about how you look or you wont even need to look good. You’ll freak me out if you’re going to a house party and you’re dressed up to the nines. In house parties… you talk, hopefully with a lot of sense, or even a little sense: or even just a little more than those stiff and superficial bar conversations… you can talk with the option to turn the music down low… with the option to actually sit down comfortably and hear each other (not pretend to hear each other)… take a smoke without worrying about the one-inch radius you have with the rest of the mosh pit.

I mean, why do you want to be at bars in the first place?

Point is, home is for real boozing and those high-end snotty bars are for posing.

So, what’s our solution? Buy your alcohol at home, drink it there and if you still want to do the posing stuff and want to ogled at, then eat and drink all you can so you cut yourself some slack by not paying for overcharged alcohol and food.

Bite the Bullet

2008-07-30T20:39:00.000+08:00

Noong Monday, nagsi-walk-out-an ang ilang Lasalista sa kani-kanilang mga klase for a certain cause. There were a handful of them, some of them my friends, who walked and made a scene (actually not much of a scene) at school. Going back to the walk out, it was actually an Armin-supported event. It didn’t last long though; I walked thrice around the area to observe them then by the fourth time, they were gone.

Anyway, SLIFE was furious; some professors were too – sabi nila maingay, magulo, chaotic at walang permit. Maraming Lasalistang lumapit para maki-usisa pero they were outnumbered by those who were marked by blithe unconcern.

You know I did not join the walk out because although support the demand for change, I believe that I can contribute in another way. Anyway, I usually don’t argue about these things (my personal views) with my friends as this constitutes the same things as an argument on religion– they probably won’t convince me, and I won’t convince them either because we rest on different belief systems.

I may be counterintuitive or just backwards for some people i'll criticize here but first, this is what I believe in and second, this is my blog. So there.

On SLIFE and complaining professors

Susmaryosep. Walk-out nga eh. What do you expect? Tahimik? Kayo namang mga propesor, unibersidad na tayo eh. Ito namang si SLIFE, nagrereklamo because walang permit – so, you need a FORM A, and several signatures, probably a restriction or two for you to walk out and express your beliefs? Sasampahan niyo ng kaso yung org dahil walang papel? Pathetic. Are you an apery of the paranoid plus one government we have? This institution (DLSU) – and I’m speaking collectively it is their stand as a whole – has been stern in criticizing the Arroyo government for requiring all sorts of permits for rallies and argues that it is an encroachment on the freedom of assembly and yet, we have a very own version at home. Ang bureaukrasya nga naman sa La Salle. Kapag sinampahan ng sanction ang organisasyong nag-spearhead nito, it would just prove how the bureaucratic system in our university nurses the apathetic image of the school. I’m not saying the walkout is the most correct thing to do; in fact, I’m have my own views on it but to sanction an organization out of a harmless activity? My god, La Salle.

On the WALKOUT itself

I understand what these guys are fighting for but c’mon, if you’re going to go through all the hassle then you might as well EXECUTE and make an IMPACT. I’m sorry, but the walk-out was a flop. The image was deplorable – a bunch of kids, romanticized with the idea, the cause, holding statements that were meant to provoke thoughts – however, it seemed to me that they have bitten more than what it could chew.

Kaunti kayo dahil wala naman kayong pinilit sumama. Okay, I understand that you don’t pull people to join you because they might end up joining just for the mere sensation of it and that they must join because it is the CAUSE that pulls them to act on their beliefs. But what have you done to inform the students about this walkout? Have you made them aware about the event? About the CAUSE you are fighting for? You cannot expect the students to join you just because you told them to. You wouldn’t want that, right?

Well, if you will go through the brouhaha of having to deal with complaining professors and admin units, might as well do it with a BANG, para naman may katuturan ang hassle ‘di ba? Sige….. Sabihin nating kaunti kayo, sige, okay lang pero you faded out prematurely. Frankly, with some stellar people you have there, you could have done better. You should have.

Biting the Bullet

Eto pa. A walk out… You want to walk-out? Ironic, but these kids want change yet they could not do their part as part of this society. I won’t generalize, but admit it, you see some of them and the speaking doesn’t go with the acting. Gusto mo magwalk out pero naging mabuting anak ka ba sa mga magulang mo? Nagddrugs ka ba? Nilulustay mo ba ang perang pinaghihirapan ng mga magulang mo? Ginawa mo ba ang responsibilidad mo bilang mag-aaral? Pinapasa mo ba ang mga subjects mo? Tinapon mo ba ang basura sa tamang lugar? Alam ko simpleng simple lang ang mga tanong, pero it means a lot.

BITE THE BULLET, children. Accept that a consequence comes with hard choices. Don’t tell me that this government is spoiled and ugly when you yourself is ridden with the very things that contribute to the problem. If you want accountability, then be accountable for yourself and your actions. Don’t tell the government you want change when the next day I’ll see you breaking a traffic rule, engage in marijuana trade or just simply back to being your “old self”. Kung ganoon lang naman kasi, anong pinagkaiba mo sa mga pultikong tinutuligsa mo. Kaplastikan, ‘di ba? Walk out… Walk out... Why don’t you sit down first and just deal with the issues?

Isa pa, kapag kayo ba eh nasali sa isang rally sa labas, would your airconditioned, derma-treated skin, your English-speaking mouths, delicate sense of smell take the pain of being slammed, pushed, water-hosed and tear-gassed? You can’t even finish a school project or pass your subjects yet you want the downfall of a government leader. You can’t even stand up to a narrow-minded professor yet you want to stand up for a belief. What kind of hypocrisy is that? Don’t look at things up in the Ivory tower – don’t live in a world where you engage yourself in pursuits that are disconnected from the practical concerns.

Also, what happened to the political parties in DLSU? These organizations say that they are for nation-building and all that shit and where were they during the walkout? BUSY kayo sa FROSH elections? Hahaha. Akala ko ba naniniwala kayo sa ipinaglalaban ng ilang kasamahan niyo noong walk out, balita ko inaya naman kayo, eh bakit mas pinahalagahan niyo pa ang FROSH elections? I may criticize the people from the walkout thing but I have more respect for them than you, you who brag about things like the walk out yet when the moment comes, you prioritize the elections. There goes the nation-building thing and the activism thing in your canned speeches. Pls. nga, Pang-eleksyon lang ang marami sa inyo. You start and end there.

Now what?

Ask yourself if you have truly done your part. Pagkatapos ng kamalayan, ano na? What kind of change are you beginning anyway? I’m not asking for something abrupt… but I want to know… is it the one that would die down after the sensation or is it something that I can grasp? Tell me, after the sensation, will you fulfill every sense of the IDEA you are fighting for? Will you BITE THE BULLET? Or will you just end up being part of the problem and defeating the very purpose you have?

Chaotic coffee induced thesis-ing

2008-07-22T00:00:00.001+08:00

So, I have found Feinberg's right-to-duty duty-to-right logical correlativity of rights as inappropriate for my topic... the very last minute. Time constraint is killing me. I will have to submit my draft to Sir Uribe, 9am tommorow and in desperation to nail down something, I have adapted something that some people might disclose as an offshoot from my latest column in the publication or my perspective on feminism or just plain, well-she-was-cramming kinda thing. I don't know, this might be premature so I'm expecting a faultfinding body to just tell me this wont work (Um, hello, bakit pa ako maghahanap eh magmemeeting nga pala kami nina Sir Uribe bukas hehehe). But hey, this is out of desperation. I am at the mercy of a deadline and I have not managed my time well (I should have but there were certain things... and I thought i could... but... nevermind.) And why am I posting this? Because at this moment, feelings of boredom, desperation and annoyance would want to make myself a subject of ridicule.

Im eating hello panda right now. wala lang. hahaha.

The paradigm I would like to engage in resolving the issues in controversy regarding the Anti-Gender Discrimination Bill is a feminist approach – Equality as the Equality of Results. By definition, equality of results is the only understanding of equality that can be adequately applied to programs between the sexes, or in this case, between person’s of different sexual orientations. The Equality of results presupposes that equality is not merely the equal considerations of interests, nor the absence of social impediments based on sex or gender to any of the goals of the individual he wish to attain. In this philosophy that I will apply, I will look at equality as a demand for equality requires significant social changes, that might be in a form of protection (or in this case, a law) in order to achieve a society that guarantees a certain level of physical and economic security for all members. In this conceptual framework, equality shall be the affirmation of being or belonging. Therefore, I shall recognize that in all persons, there is something that is highly and equally valuable in all persons but shall have nothing to do with their merit. So, all persons shall be viewed on a perspective that they are all equal, not because they are equal in any particular respect, but simply because they are human. In looking at the LGBT in this mindset, it wouldn’t matter if they have a different sexual orientation than males and females, but because they are discriminated against, they shall be given a claim to a right as an affirmative action – since they are human and since, dignity, human dignity as a protection of equality of rights is enshrined in the very law that establishes us as a nation – The Constitution. The equality of results implies that the understanding that equal concern for the good lives of its members requires a society to treat people differently. In doesn’t deviate from my preceding statements, it just means that since individual needs, capacities and interests differ (take the case of LGBT) and what constitutes a good life for the LGBT may not do so for men or for women and vise versa. However, the equality of results argues that it is society’s very concern for the good life of its members that determines which differences and similarities it must respect. That applies well to the members of the LGBT – I will not look at them in the ‘business as usual’ aspect for I will take into consideration their difference from the majority (which makes them a minority in the first place). The standard I will use, or the norm I will implement is the equal participation of all in the life of the community. The only way in which all citizens will be able to participate equally is for them to be treated differently. In that note, I will clarify that this will not be self-defeating at all, since people are not the same, policies are adopted that treat people differently in order to treat them equally. But they are treated equally, only because, they should be treated equally well. The equality of results, also accentuate that it is only the comprehension of equality that emphasizes similarities among persons and minimizes differences. In the case of the LGBT, man and women, they are similarly human, employee, student, family member but they should not be seen as a deviation of the other. I will focus more on where inequalities seem to be greatest and just as the feminist petition, I will only ask for a reduction of differences between persons on the basis of gender and sexual orientation through the proposed bill in contention.

More and More

2008-06-29T20:16:00.001+08:00

Time: Midnight

Currently Playing
1. Baby Come Back - Player
2. I Try -Macy Gray
3. Losing My Religion - Tori Amos
4. Smile - Weezer
5. Soul Searching - Urbandub
6. Dream Lover - Bobby Darin
7. Linger - Cranberries
8. Teddypicker - Artic Monkeys

Album/s be played after current playlist:
Distinto Diferente and A Todo Cuba Le Gusta both by Afro-Cuban All Stars to accompany in my no sleeping stint.

Moment Patch

Karla is currently seated in the middle of a 4x4ft mahogany colored ottoman in their family abode in Quezon City. She is using her sister Jacky's laptop, which she is using to download all the dangerous virus-ridden stuff she won't download using her own laptop but compensates by storing hard-to-find music in her sister's music files. She assumes her MCR-crazy sister would appreciate 70's music -- which we all know Jacky won't. Multi-tasking several windows on the screen: naghahanap kunwari ng mga legal issue para sa thesis; nagda-download gaya ng nabanggit, nagbblog, nagmmultiply, nagYM (pero sandali lang).

Nakabukas ang Word. tatlong windows ang nakabukas sa Word. Naka-indian sit ang Karla, may kape (as usual), ayaw pa rin mag-gatas pero mamatay sa diabetes sa dami ng asukal sa kape. Eats scrambled eggs on the side. Ang plato, nasa ottoman rin. Ang ottoman ay nasa gitna ng sala. Mag-isa lang si Karla, patay na ang karamihan ng ilaw. Nagtatapang-tapangan kahit takot naman talaga sa dilim. Ang libro, nasa ottoman din - mga isang maling pag-unat at may mahuhulog sa upuan. Tarantahin pa naman si Karla.

-----
-----

More and More

More and more frequently the edges
of me dissolve and I become
a wish to assimilate the world, including
you, if possible through the skin
like a cool plant's tricks with oxygen
and live by a harmless green burning.

I would not consume
you or ever
finish, you would still be there
surrounding me, complete
as the air.

Unfortunately I don't have leaves.
Instead I have eyes
and teeth and other non-green
things which rule out osmosis.

So be careful, I mean it,
I give you fair warning:

This kind of hunger draws
everything into its own
space; nor can we
talk it all over, have a calm
rational discussion.

There is no reason for this, only
a starved dog's logic about bones.

-Margaret Atwood

Ang blog entry na walang pamagat!!!

2008-06-26T21:51:00.002+08:00

Sa tingin ko, bunsod ang pagsusulat kong ito sa pag-aabsent ko sa CONSLAW. Atty Sales, kung nababasa mo man ito, o kung kaklase kitang medyo napapansing missing person ako sa klase -- sana malaman niyo na nagbabasa naman ako! hehehe. :-) Hmmm... nakokonsensya na ako!!! hahaha.... makapasok na nga! JOKE.

Really, due process is the formidable champion of freedom and liberty!!! AMEN!!!

ON DUE PROCESS

Themistocles said to Eurybiades: “Strike, but hear me first!” is one of the most simple but essential theme of due process. Audi alteram partem or to hear both sides, is one of the most indispensible legal maxims that can substantiates a person’s basic right to be heard. Giving both sides to give their take on the case, embraces the concept on equal protection of the laws. If the plaintiff was given a chance to accuse (again, it is his burden to prove his allegations), the defendant should be given the same opportunity to address the matters that were used against him or even just saying his side of the story. Since we are embracing the concept o due process, it is only fit that we give much importance on one of its essential facets -- the burden of proof.

Semper Necessitas Benigniora incumbit ei qui agit – The burden of proof always lies upon the claimant. The burden of proving lies on the accuser (if he will); the defendant shall be entitled to present his own evidences (if he has). There is always the presumption of innocence until proven otherwise. To think otherwise is the pinnacle example an immature and vulnerable mind – especially if that mind belongs to the one who is given the delicate task of rendering judgment. Given that both parties are given a chance to be heard, a judge must first ensure that there are proofs supporting the allegations. The burden of persuasion shall be built on that [evidences] since to convince, one must possess the basis of his statements. The judge must also successfully determine if the issues, after evaluating the evidences, are enough for it to be a subject of debate. Lastly, on the duration of the debate on the ultimate issue of guilt and innocence – the points must be proven beyond reasonable doubt.

In one case of the Supreme Court, Justice Cruz was able to superbly put into words what a just and free society should be made of – “ The closed mind has no place in an open society… Obviously, one side is only one-half of the questions; the other half must also be considered if an impartial verdict is to be reached based on an informed appreciation of the issues in contention. It is indispensible that the two-sides complement each other, as unto the bow the arrow, leading to the correct ruling after examination of the problem not from ne or the other perspective only but in its totality…” I conclude, therefore, that has image and reputation at stake should be heard, quietly and swiftly and in its TOTALITY by those who have the capacity to detach themselves with the enticement given by false projection. Also, let us make it clear that the defendant should not push for due process, as it is supposedly a given – no questions asked. It is not authority that confers one’s right to be heard as it is inherent. The exercise of an authority on due process is not the cause but the consequence.

CHISMIS AT HEARSAY

Culpa est Immiscere se rei ad se non perinenti-It is a fault for anyone to meddle in a matter not pertaining to him. Never ever ever dare to render judgment on what you do not understand, moreover, on something that you are not involved in or something you are not suppose to know in the first place . It is even more dangerous to go on a gabfest on unsolicited information. Not only are you distorting realities with your own bias, you are also putting a dent on the perception of the case, hence, somehow affecting its outcome. Let it be left on the hands of those who are meant to render a judgment over it. YOU CAN NEVER CONCLUDE SOMETHING WHICH DOESN’T HAVE A CONCLUSION YET. Its stupid and it is, immature. It is more disappointing too, to find people who not only rendered untimely judgment but has the guts to further his fault by extending uneducated information, hence, spreading the contagious disease of misinforming, more misinforming and sensationalism. Sometimes, uninvited tampering and meddling makes you ask on the intentions of the one scattering the (mis)information. What benefit do they reap from sensationalizing something that is still premature in the first place? Bitterness, perhaps? Attention Seeking? A cure for boredom? Always remember that the things you derive outside the formal circle of discussion are sometimes, half-truths, information taken out of context or pure bullshit. So, to cushion the damage to the people involved and to you too (to avoid the embarrassment of having to apologize for spreading wrong information), it is wiser to hold your judgment, or if you already have one, hold it until it all finishes.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS

Thesis ko na! What’s light about that? Hahahaha. Well, I just found out that we will not be making our thesis in the APA format (the one prescribed by DLSU) – The COMLAW decided to follow the Supreme Court on its rules on Judicial Writing. Yes, the one followed by the Law Schools. LM is really a misfit… hahaha! I cant really compare my thesis to my other friends’ since there are many aspects on our papers that wont come into agreement. Even the directions of our thesis wont jive… Anyway, I’m excited but also scared. I’m expecting a chaotic, caffeine induced term! Sleep is officially, an option! Hahaha.

Mga gusto kong bagay ngayon

1.Strawberry Ice Cream

2. Bagong kama

3. Isang gabing nakalaan kasama ang aking college barkada

4. Related Lit sa topic (tentative) ng thesis ko!

5. Weight loss

"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat." - Theodore Roosvelt

Sheeeengri-la! Laftrip baby!!!

2008-06-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

Stressed ka ba at gusto mo humagikgik sa katatawa??

Well, If you haven't been in the scene lately, I am going through, what i call, the ultimate bedlam. I would like to abstain, though, from posting anything related to the chaos that I am currently going through. Let the deluge pass, and If i immerse unscathed... then thanks to the universe - but the details will be a non-issue come the passing of the tempest. Hmm... now, back to being incoherent...and terribly funny...

Ito galing 'to kay Jean. natawa talaga ako. Hmm... buti na lang hindi ako taga sagot ng telepono sa Shang. Baka gumulong na ako sa katatawa kapag narinig ko ang mga linyang ito live.

---

(TOTOO ITO. PRAMIS)

"phone inquiries sa shang. konti lang na-gather ko. should have done this before before before before pa. daym!" ;-) ----sam's friend.

1.
** : inquire lang po, pwede pong malaman kung ano yung mga now showing po..ung mga palabas niyo ngayon..yung mga oras po ng mga now showing...ung screening times po?

[what's up mehn?! are you drugs? ]

2.
** : ano yung comedy movie ngayon?
sc : meet the spartans po.
** : comedy ba yun?

[ay hinddeeeee..!!! nag-jojoke ako!!]

3.
** : may available seats pa for pacquiao?
sc : yes ma'm..pero front row seats na lang po..
** : front row? harap ba un?

[hmm...lemme think?? argh!]

sc : ay, opo..harap na po..
** : eh ilang rows pa sa harap nun?
[sandali po, bibilangin ko..this would take time lang po ah..can you wait? ]

sc: ay wala na po..front row na nga po yun..ilang seats po ba kailangan niyo? meron pa pong available na dalawang seats sa row k?
** : dalawang seats, hindi tatlo?
[hanap po kayo ibang kausap, try nyo..hehe..]

4.
** : hello is this indiana jones?
[this is harrison ford speaking, how may i help you?]

sc : this is shang cineplex and we're showing indiana jones.
** : ah ok. may i know the screenings between 4 and 5 pm?
sc : c1 440, c4 410
** : ok. between 4 and 5 pm un?
[what do you think?!?!]

5. (all five cinemas show indiana jones)

** : palabas sa inyo yung ano nga bang movie yun...tomb raider? o, tomb raider..

sc : aah you mean, indiana jones po?
** : ah oo, indiana jones pala yun.

[tomb raider, indiana jones..di naman malayo..ahaha!!]

6.
** : pwedeng mag-inquire kung kailan palabas yung jilinajones?
[ano daw?!?! sino daw?!?]

sc : ano po??
** : kailan palabas yung jilinajones?
[hala..tao ba'to? bagay? hayop?]

sc : ah indiana jones po. palabas na po siya ngayon.

7.
** : what time is the screening of 27?
sc : uhm..the movie '21' po ba?
** : ah yes, 21.

[magkamukha naman kasi yung 1 at 7..di ba?]

8.)
** : palabas pa sa inyo ung alvin and the monchings?
[monching?? asawa ni lotlot??]

sc : alvin & the chipmunks po yun. opo palabas pa.

9.
** : may i know the screening times of king horton?
sc : its 'horton hears a who' po. its at...

[king horton..king of the jungle!]

10.
** : when are you showing kung fu master?
sc : pardon sir...
** : kung fu master ba yun? the one with the panda..?
sc : aah, kung fu panda po. its on june po.

11.
** : "hello, may indiana jones pa sa inyo?"
sc : meron pa po.
** : ilang movie? [cinema ang tinutukoy]
sc : dalawa po.
** : may i know what time and what time?
[kailangan ulitin kasi dalawa nga..]

sc : c1 po 650, 930.. premiere, 550, 830.
** : yung premiere nyo ba yung may upuan?
[bakit palagay kaya niya walang upuan sa ibang cinemas?]

sc : ano po?
** : siguradong may upuan sa premiere?
[naglalaho kasi ata minsan mga upuan sa ibang theaters..]
sc : gauranteed seats po sa lahat ng cinemas dito.
** : what's the difference then?

[*haay.*]

12.
** : hello, is this shang?
sc : yes.
** : what time is 'seex [six] in the city?'
[anim sa siyudad??..apat lang sila di ba..]

13.
** : *maarte voice* hello, sheeengri-la?

14.
** : hello, anong oras bukas yung renaissance?
sc : alin po?
** : ano ba yung bagong movie ngayon??
sc : narnia po.
** : ayun. anong oras yun bukas?

[di din naman nagkakalayo...]

15.
** : magkano yung price ng sin city?
sc : ano po?
** : yung pagpinanood ko yung sin city, magkano ibabayad ko?
sc : sex and the city po?
** : ah sex and the city ba yun..oo yun.

16.
** : anong oras 'yung hello panda?
*pigil tawa*

** : hello??
sc : yes sir..its at...

17.
** : pwedeng malaman kung palabas sa inyo 'yung marina?
sc : ano 'yun ma'am?
** : ano mga palabas ngayon jan?
sc : incredible hulk, get smart, kung fu panda, made of honor and narnia.
** : 'yung huli. narnia pala.

Overdue Post-er

2008-06-01T21:11:00.000+08:00

Mabagal ako mag upload. hehe. I so know. I've been getting a lot of "na-post mo na ba" texts from everyone...

Sorrrrrrrrrrrryyyy!!!

Hmmm...

:-)

I'll find time... and a fast internet connection too.

Pending Photo Albums

1. Lakawon / Bacolod (La Sallian Press Conference) 4 days and 3 nights of photos (incriminating and not)

2. CoEd Turnover 08-09 at La Salle Villa (overnight madness)

3. Tagaytay Photos (uploading)

4. Brunei Trip (Asean Youth Summit - Education Forum and Young Speakers Contest)

(7 days of pork-less fun)

5. Mulat (3 days and 2 nights) Pililia, Rizal

6. Year-end Photos from Plaridel (400++ photos segregate ko muna)

----

Kasi naman, I have to picnap from others pa

(I dint use my camera that much for the said events esp. Bacolod 'coz I was too busy having summer fun, hehe.)

--Yes. The photos of moments that made my summer - a sunny summer to remember -- I'm shades darker than my usual complexion, but I think it was all worth it.

The photos... the posting... will be an ardous task...

But I will deliver.

Taga niyo sa bato!

[Back to my law books for the mean time]

Chickens and Chick-Flicks

2008-05-09T14:27:00.002+08:00

A few minutes beyond Estrada corner Singalong Street lays a chicken joint that I have visited on the few last days of April. It was called ‘Chicken, Chicken’ – I know, how can it be more obvious? The axiomatic truth of the matter is – they sell fried chicken: the plain, chaste version of the ‘chicken’(which is truly over-exploited in the 100-meter radius of La Salle). I have been here a few months back in our failed attempt to eat at Solomon’s – but even at that time, we haven’t been able to sit down and enjoy a chicken from ‘chicken, chicken’ (sounds funny, I know…) It surprises me how this place has reached my radar from a number of food connoisseurs, when it looks nothing like a conducive place to indulge in what is said to be ‘the next best thing to Merce’s Chow chicken’.

It has plain white walls, a small counter; no photos of their specialty, aged ceiling and stand fans and most of all, seemingly bored to death waitresses who have zero PR capabilities (throw over an inviting smile, will you?). Our chicken arrived. Its plain and unassuming plating demanded me to buy Twin Popsies to compensate for the lack of color in my meal. Everybody else is using their ‘special’ sauce: one of my friends likes it very much. I look at them in disbelief as they munch and crunch their way into finishing the 75-peso 3-piece chicken mystery… I marveled on the way my amigos devoured the dry and disfigured piece of fried poultry.

I took a bite of my ‘Chicken, Chicken’ chicken and yes, it is… so… flat and insipid. While it’s still in my mouth, I took another bite from my dripping orange Twin Popsies. At least, even the wrong flavor on the wrong food would do, than to have it with no flavor at all… right? The sauce wasn’t even an option. It (sauce) is like trying hard to be with the chicken. My unanticipated frozen lolly and a stick of cigarette was a better friend to the poor plain chicken.

I personally find the food unappetizing but anything for a good smoke with my good ‘old friends. I had my chicken wrapped into a ‘dog bag’ (which I would later consume in desperate got-to-eat-something moments in my condo), and felt guilty of cheating on Jollibee Chicken joy and Merce's Chow’s buttered chicken. Everybody I know seems to love, Chicken, Chicken and even If I want to rave about it – I would be adulterating the honest opinion of my taste buds.

---

After a few weeks of my horrible food encounter, I have met another kind of chick - The ‘Chick-flick’. You know, I’m not the usual girl. I really like the Batch ’81, Gattaca, Pulp Fiction, Godfather trilogy, Kung-fu hustle, City of God, Transformers, Schindler’s List and SAW series kind of movies. Yes, the violent, blood-soaked, bizarre and psychotic type of films. But I think, I have matured and found the ‘chick-flick’ lover in me. From watching the woman empowering, feminist series of Sex and the City, I found the damsel-in-distress plot (in other films and sitcoms) a bit insulting. I am the biggest fan of Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha Jones of Sex and the City fame (They can do what a man does, even better!) ‘coz have a natural ability to just wing things, you know… not trying hard at all. Chick-flicks of this generation sometimes appear, too ‘trying-hard’… But I know it’s so difficult for them to step up and upstage the impact that Sex and City gave to its viewers (yes, it’s not a film but I think chick-flicks are yearning for the same effect). However, after a chick-flick Marathon [which ran through a number of days… (I have watched most of it but watched it again anyway)] Of –

+When Harry Met Sally

+Miss Congeniality

+Legally Blonde

+How to Lose a Guy in 10 days,

+The Joy Luck Club

+As Good As it gets

+Bridget Jones’ Diary

+Clueless

+The Truth about Cats & Dogs

+Breakfast at Tiffany’s

+Georgia Rule

+Charlie’s Angels

I have realized a number of things – First that chick-flicks are not sugar-coated, lipsticized piece of nonsense. Second, that its title is not sexist (as most people would accused it to be): I mean, ‘chick-flick’- Its catchy, It rhymes: too bad its gets me where I need to go. It shouldn’t be mixed up with the mediocre cable movie which comes up to other people with its distinctive, weak, watered-down and easy to swallow formula, which also casts the B-list sitcom and drama ‘actors’.

The classic ‘chick-flick’ is a post-feminist masterpiece that is padded with contemporary brouhaha and sexual liberty. It works. It really works. Its women empowerment in the grassroots level (pun intended).

Yes, I probably would never abandon my devotion for blood-soaked films but I have found a place in my heart for the usually discriminated ‘chick-flicks’. People who squander bad words about chick-flicks should give it a chance. Trust me, its not that bad.

Just as Francois Jullien says in his book, The PRAISE of BLANDNESS, “One accepts the paradox: that to honor the bland – to value the flavorless rather than the flavorful- runs counter to most our spontaneous judgment and elicits a certain pleasure in contradicting common sense.”

CHICKENS, CHICKENS and CHICK-FLICKS.

A Summer Night with Jupiter

2008-03-23T15:58:00.004+08:00

***

Full moon. Zambales. March. Warm Night. Typical Karla.

I wore a tad too much rouge last night and went to the shore, entered unfamiliar waters with a kind of bravado that says I can crusade against Jupiter. The cruel sea whirled up, ready to crush my ship. But I am captain, so I need composure or I’ll destroy my battalion.

Then I looked back and saw the white stretch of sand, I saw an old image of my desolate self waiting on the sidelines: raw and hesitant to touch the water. My old self held on to a tiny rope of hope that was attached to a rock. I held my waist and found a leash that anchored me to the very same rock. It was always my refuge.

As the waves were pulled back, ready to pounce, I fought the urge to close my eyes because I knew that at that moment, the universe was going to unfold before me. I was at the mercy of a greater power and I was ready to face the music, whatever it will render of me. Jupiter hurls a vicious bolt, and I sought my armory for the best weapon I could reach for. My soldiers were ready to die, and so am I.

I woke up. I realized that I have survived the night from a merciless god. Half of the soldiers I have brought to this battle have fallen. But it was, nonetheless, a good fight. My ship was wrecked like a piece of talc but there was this hope in me that I could still rebuild it. The sun shone and my eyes squinted for a good 5 seconds. I was resting my back on the same rock, with my body still anchored to it – that rock never fails to save me.

All I could do was take deep breaths and think about the next logical thing I should do. I never grasped that morning as my triumph. I never thought of it as my failure. It was a morning that gave birth to a challenge

It’s not yet over. I have so much to learn. I have so much to do. I cannot wait for the next summer night where Jupiter will return armed with a promise of annihilation. I want no soldiers lost, no ships wrecked. I need to search for a guarantee for a sure strategy for my next battle. But, my needs and wants can only do so much. I will have to learn things, whichever way I can.

******

Emotions has been all over me like a bad sun burn this past 3 days. Lent meant four days on the nice stretch of beach in Zambales. I am usually a beach bitch. I love the beach, no doubt about that. But this time, the beach lacked a certain Jene sais quio. I forgot my I-POD, I forgot my readings, I forgot to do some crucial phone calls, I forgot to say some important sentences, I forgot my sunblock and I forgot the “feeling”…. That summer careless feeling of not having to care about anything - Yung parang ang makahanap ng perfect milkshake ang pinakamalaking problema sa mundo. My mind has been bombarded with a gamut of things and I owe myself the decency of the not letting the whole world relish in my kabobohan…haha… Hmmm… There were quite a number of things I regret not doing, but something tells me that I gave what I can somehow and I need to pull back a little bit. Que cera cera

I need some peace of mind, mhaaaan! Masyado akong nag-iisip!

I want a Jager bomb, Seven and seven, 2 basic coloring books and lots of chocolate.

Summer, be kind to me :-)

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up." -

Lucas Scott, OTH

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CHOICE.

Pedro Gil

2008-02-20T00:21:00.004+08:00

I have switched from my usual cocktail of stresstabs + ion energy drink + Ponstan to Nescafe's canned iced coffee to keep me up all night to review for an examination.

Weird. Ito ba ang epekto ng limang lata ng iced coffee sa akin?

Ganadong-ganado lang naman akong mag-blog.

Three friigin’ blog entries in 24 hours.

What’s with me? The catch is, I am meant to do more important things (like review for an exam). But just as my good friend Froilan Santos would say, earth knows that that national income accounts (for him chemistry) aren’t interesting. So, for the past ungodly hours of the day, i have been trying to get the point of my eco lessons: but my efforts are in vain :))

Now, going back to the weird thing… Imagine, at exactly 3 o’ clock in the morning, I woke up from an hour’s nap (from hours of perkiness) and at that exact moment, at the 3 o’ clock marker, the lights went out here in my condo. YES, BLACKOUT. SHIT LANG.

Take into consideration the fact that I never sleep with my lights off and note that I live alone. I am also affirming that I have watched the 'exorcist of Emily Rose' so the 3am thing is reminiscent of terrifying thoughts.

Yes, takot ako sa dilim at takot ako sa mga horror na pelikulang napapanood ko. And!....to think that kanina, even the hallways we’re pitch black and elevators weren’t working here in burgundy. THE terrrroooorrr. Malakas pa naman imagination ko pagdating sa mga nilalang.

For ten straight minutes, I was pretending not to be scared.

Tapang-tapangan ang drama ko.

Tapos, trhe moment the light in the common areas were restored, I quickly grabbed my stuff and I went to Wendy’s Pedro Gil, half-sleeping. Ewan ko kung bakit, I am questioning myself if I had sleepwalked or what. I don’t know if I am half sleeping, dazed, on a caffeine rush or whatever but I effin’ went to friggin' Pedro Gil. Surreal. Bigla na lang ako nasa Pedro Gil.

I went there with all my school things and rode a jeep. I went out with my reading glasses on (yes, I do have one but I never wear it out, so its quite peculiar to find myself wearing it publicly) and with my hair looking like shit: i had my headband on in a messy ponytail. Trust me, its nothing short of a hair disaster.

My books even fell and scattered on the jeep’s floor and I really can’t determine if I was half-sleeping that time because someone picked up my things for me and I kept saying sorry to him (instead of thank you). So I arrived at Wendy’s, my current squeeze (of a food joint) half-aware of what I was doing. I was into the whole graphing thing that time...

With my chili con carne and Biggie iced tea, I tried to understand the math on my economics subject. Believe me, I tried J haha.

I spent an hour, in my pajamas, in effin’ Wendy’s Pedro Gil graphing Economics stuff.

Unbelievably bizaare.

I am still looking at myself in disbelief on the jeep back to my condo (at 4:30am). And then, I realized:

On my next all-nighter, tI’ll stick to good ‘ol ION+stresstabs.

The caffeine thing is NOT good for KARLA. :P

napreng-preng ako sa kape.

Ang solusyon :))

2008-02-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

After all the Lozada brouhaha... hear out the person every feminist wants to kill:

"This is not a time for symbols. This is no time for a messiahs. 20 fucking centuries and that shit still don't work. Heroes die, and dead people can't do anything but rot. Symbols are put on a pedestal, printed on shirts sold on streets and forgotten after a benefit concert. Messiahs are crucified. WHAT WE NEED IS A BOMB for each and every human in the world to blow up in all our faces all at the same time so we can all sit back, dazed and quiet and just think, what the fuck have we been doing all these years with this so-called intellect we have"

- A. Navarra

The solution on changing the "system"

Genocide anyone? 30 years old and above?

Joketime :P

Stone me now, I'm so insensitive.

i want pastillas. :-P

Oh Lozada

2008-02-19T06:37:00.000+08:00

In a world where a revolution is televised, It is easy to just fall into the trap of technology and media sensationalism and believe the "truths" of certain people. Yes, its good to call for a morally upright government, I'm all for that... BUT there are some people who miss the whole point of the senate inquiry.

AND before elaborating on that, let me set the record straight. I BELIEVE WHAT LOZADA IS SAYING - for the simple reason that, in his whole expose, he has more to lose than to gain.(do you really believe he can kick GMA out of her seat? c'mon...) Totoo, after all the brouhaha, if he doesn't kick GMA out of her seat, he would probably LOSE quite a lot of things. Number one, his career as a (IT or computer related) engineer.

Going back to "missing" the whole point of the Senate inquiry is how some people see it as a lingering chance to serve as a spark advance for a revolution.

Revolution. Revolution. Revolution. Again, if we always want to kick every president who comes our way, without making REAL solutions, what would the whole world think of the Philippines? Some childish nation who have brilliant lawyers as senators yet they cannot file the proper suit in the courts? PAG MAY ABERYA, SA KALYE DEDERECHO?

I wont hollow up my previous arguments on the issue na 'pababain niyo sa puwesto, tapos wala kayong PLAN B'...Sige, assuming my plan B nga ang opposition, may kulang pa rin eh.

Sa oposisyon, kung gusto nyo talaga sipain sa pwesto si PGMA, prove her guilt. You wanna know how much the kickback is on the ZTE deal? We have hundreds, if not thousands of accountants... I'm sure that there is one or two benevolent ones who can compute it.

To prove the corruption, establish your evidences. HINDI PURO NAME DROPPING. Very basic, pero parang the senators are too busy stretching the whole senate inquiry para lahat sila may chance magsalita.

These senators (ok, not all)are grandstanding bastards who have THEIR gains in mind hidden behind the pretense that THEY are "patriotic". They look like heroes and yet to the meticulous eye, they are merely pretentious high class status quo lumps of human flesh with hidden agendas.

Hidden agenda nila? 2010, hello?!

These senators who cry for a morally upright government has 200 million worth of pork [barrel] that they spend on their so-called (and unaccounted for) projects. Now, tell me, if we really want a morally upright government, how can we achieve it if ang papalit eh mga pultikong may parehong timpla rin naman?

Nagagamit ang tao.

Oo, maganda na there is an active and vigilant call for good governance pero if the people seated are still the same, where do we go? We've been through two (or three) EDSAs in this century... Gusto ng tao ng pagbabago, pero it is the system that cripples us.

After the noise, after everything, its the powerful who make the call.

Really, we need to think more, follow a process and refuse to be used.

the incoherent pansit

2008-02-17T15:42:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: incoherent list and inexisting thread - in short, bagong gising ako.

Chili con carne – this year ko lang talaga na-try yung chili con carne ng Wendy’s and its weird how addicted I’ve become. Kung dati, sa pag-dial ko sa 533-3333, my standard order would be (1) Big Classic Single and (1) super value salad, ngayon its (1) Chili Con Carne with crackers, (1) Shrimp Sandwich and (1) biggie iced tea (light). Gaya nga ng sabi ko, it’s strange how I have knuckled under Chili Con Carne dependency because, I don’t like beans talaga. My addiction is getting out of hand na nga, medyo twice a day ko na siya kinakain. I am defying the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. Kelan ko ba mararating ang saturation point ko? Hmm… Chili Con Carne dissatisfaction? Ewan ko lang. Matagal-tagal pa ito! Haha.

Group Simulation – hindi kami pinalad manalo sa group simulation but nonetheless, it has been a very VERY rewarding experience. Kay Aljames, Marlon, Earl, Roma, Janice, Faye at Gen – salamat sa masayang group simulation. Hindi man tayo nanalo, alam natin sa sarili natin that we have learned a lot. Its an experience I will not have any qualms reliving again. I never thought ganon kagaling at kabait ang iba sa inyo. Nilaban natin ang Luntiang Palaso. I’m so proud of all of you. Even if some of us were running for the same positions, I can fairly say everything was balanced. Kay Marlon, sa over-all leadership niya. Ang galling lang talaga! Bilib ako sayo, gwapo. haha. Hmm… Nagulat rin ako sa suportang at encouragement na nakuha ko sa mga taong hindi ko inasahan. Lalo na nung surprise visit ng screening committee sa condo ko the evening before defense. Grabeng ginulat ako ng mga tao who stood up for me, it was unexpected. Kahit joke pala ang lahat (THE BIG SWITCH) ang sarap isipin na hindi ko kinailangan magsalita para sa sarili ko noong gabing ‘yon dahil mayroong mga taong tulad ninyo (kilala nyo na kung sino kayo). Salamat sa tumawag the next day, sa nagtext. Sobrang hindi ko rin kayo malilimutan. I was touched. Good luck sa inyo :D Congratulations sa group ni Justin Sucgang (aiyu, neulfred, martin and marvin), you deserve the win. You worked very very hard for it and succeeded without having to say resort to any negative thing. Mahusay kayong mga tao - esp. Marvin and Justin S. Nakatrabaho at nakasama ko na kayo, kaya alam ko yan. Same goes for Peters’ group! Salamat sa bonding natin nung naghihintay tayo nung lunch. Congratulations too.

Oplan “bawi-tulog” – Sleepless. For days, I have lacked the hours of sleep that I need. Kanina, pagbalik ko galing sa layout (yes, duty calls), I have indulged in a very comforting sleepfest. Ang sarap lang ng feeling. The past weeks were harassing and its good to get some much needed Zzzz-time.

Movie must watch – So far, these are in my list of must-watch flicks. Atonement, Bangkok Dangerous, Valkyrie, The Heartbreak Kid and Fool’s Gold. I need to watch. Movie marathon anyone?

Delfin moves out from dorm. I can’t believe you’re moving out of Taft. We’ll miss having you around til midnight. My offer still stands: Sa akin ka na nga tumira! Hehehe J Paborito ka naman ng nanay ko eh!!! Marami pa tayong lakwatchang gagawin, so mag-ipon ka na . isang araw, kikidnapin ka na lang namin. Haha.

I miss the carpoolers!!! – my first loves! My college barkada! I miss you so much guys! I know I have been too caught up with my publication concerns and I don’t get to see you that much. I promise to make it up to you! Quality-time soon J NE-YO concert!!! XOXO. Special shoutouts: LORZ, I miss you. Bruha! Oo, namiss kita J Kelan ang next escape natin? I miss MISS MISS you!!! High Street nga tayo after midterms!!! SAB, When you gonna move in? Kelangan natin muli mag-Ongpin! namiss ko na yun! :D I’ll soon be in my party-mode – Yep. I have been MIA (missing in action) for quite some time now. Pero miss ko na!!! I haven’t been in the scene for months now and I miss partying very much. to my door bitches, prepare your list.. I'm coming....... So, soon!

MIDTERMS. Hibernate muna ako. Kailangan ko rin mag-aral! J

Hanggang sa muli!

Steady lang :P

"I will be there, everywhere. Here, there and everywhere" - Beatles <3

Gabi ng pasasalamat

2007-12-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

And tonight, i give my thanks...

...I thank God for immersing me in each day with a new lesson learned... that simple things and simple joys are the ingredients to a happy life.

...I thank God for the bad days. Because, if there hadn't been any, I wouldnt relish in the goodness of a wonderful day as much as I am doing right now.

...I thank God for my editorship in Ang Pahayagang Plaridel which made me fall in love with the publication, the work i had to do and most especially, the people I have come to know. Plaridel, which is beyond a publication but more like a way of life. Beyond the pages of the publication lies lessons that I would have never learned inside a four cornered classroom. Yes, you will gain a lot of wisdom in Plaridel. =)

...I thank God, my mother and all the food establishments i have patronized for such GOOD FOOD the whole year that I gained double the weight i gained last year. Kayo ang katuwang ko sa mga panahong stressed at nagugutom ako.

...I thank God for music. I can't imagine life without it.

...I thank God for such good books - for Vonnegut, Pantoja-Hidalgo, Edgar Allan Poe, Oscar Wilde, Paulo Coehlo, Wanda Ilusyonada, UP Press, F.Sionil Jose, and Pablo Neruda. Also for amazing literature from writers (you fuel my passion) - Alex Abola's 'The Shakespeare Guy', Pia Roxas' "Last Bus Ride", Ladlad and other reads that got me through my 'Word hunger' days.

...I thank God for all the movies I watched... And the people that I was with

...I thank the people who spend a whole lot of time eating with me. I know you guys already realized that food is really a good UBE (ultimate bonding experience) for me and that the conversations and chismis that goes with it is the icing on the whole foodtrip cake.

...I thank God for my friends. My high school friends, my college barkada, my Plaridel family. The year was so much worthwhile because of you guys. Sa lahat ng pinagsamahan, pinagtawanan, pinag-usapan, pinag-inuman, pinag-manehohan, pinuntahan, tinulugan, hindi tinulugan, inuwian, pinagsleepover-an, pinag-shopping-han, pinagpicture-an, pinagbasahan, pinulitakahan, kinainisan, kinatuwaan, pinag-emo-han at pinagkainan(hahaha) - salamat.

...I thank God for the people that made my wishes come true this whole year. Just the other night, there was some gift giving and I got some things that I so wished for. Thanks to Nica De Guzman for the Norton Anthology of World Masterpeices [the shizzznit!], Patrick Star from kuya DA, talong purple colored tamagochi from Marlon, bottle opener cum magnet from Del, coffee tumbler from Leo, Bo Sanchez book from Leo, picture trinkets from kuya Pipo and Peter Arjo, gibbits from Inigo, My missing Sex and the City episodes from Nicole and to all those remembered me in their gift-giving (it means a lot, no matter how small [or even if its just a warm sincere hug] ) :-)

...I thank God for the gifts to come!

...I thank God for a wonderful birthday. for the outpour of greetings, the week-long party and celebration, the surprise party, the people, the food and of course, the ALCOHOL.

...I thank God for Emperador Brandy. You are my weakness. Sober thoughts, La Bamba dancing, mindless exploits and the eating machine KARLA was exposed, thanks to you.

...I thank God for BAM MARGERA. For being such a funny sellout and putting an end to my struggling, trying hard relationship with people from outer space.

...I thank God for HOT POT, for King One and Tong Yang - for being there for me when I need some very hot satay to keep me alive.

...I thank GOD for Prov [sing joint] and good karaoke. I believe I am meant for greater things because of my prov practices... prepare for me Araneta. Hahaha. kapal ko.

...I thank God for UAAP Season 70. I failed calculus because of you, but i had a hell lot of fun. The angle of JV Casio's 3 pointers would make more sense to me than integration and derivatives.

...I thank God for Tatay, my quirky lolo. You are bizam tats. You beat Elvis Presley on my cool list. Your words mean a lot. Thanks for the love and wisdom.

...I thank God for the comfly slippers I have used this year.

...I thank God for the cab rides and the taxi drivers I have talked to. You guys have made more sense out of life than most people I know.

...I thank God for my insomnia - I truly have maxed out every possible activity in every waking hour. Because of you, I have come to appreciate good tv and 24 hour food deliveries (thank God for you too.)

...I thank God for 2 near-death experiences, and for letting me out alive.

...I thank God for YM and blogging. I am in constant need to express myself in words.

...I thank God for my constant ka-YMs and co-bloggers. You keep my sanity intact.

...I thank God for the new places I have discovered and the long kwentuhan drives/commutes in going there. =)

...I thank God for my Ixus 75, I will not sell you because of the coming of 'Lil D40x. For better or for worse, promise.

...I thank Toyang my green i-pod for being my commute buddy.

...I thank God for all the new people I have met these year.

... I thank God for kahel, micro, mag, ipis, u-boy, russian, strawberry1, strawberry2, ice cream
solutions and all the other code names I have used for certain people. Haha.

... I thank God for this life's literature and the literature of life.

...I thank God for Divisoria - I never looked at malls the same way again, after being with you.

...I thank God for good judgement and logic in times when i desperately need it. 2007 was a year of
BIG decisions.

...I thank God for Pedro Gil. That strip of vendors save me a lot of money =D

...I thank God for all the hugs I received from people the whole year. Especially the warm and long
ones.

...I thank God for the wonderful movies i have watched this year... For Cinemalaya... For movies I did not expect would have so much effect on me.

...I thank God for my tambayans / hideouts I have stayed on for the whole year. I hope you did not have hidden cameras (joke)

...I thank God for traffic, and for making it a quasi temper-management test. It worked.

...I thank God for kilig. It felt good. Haha.

...I thank God for making me move on from things I thought I would have never recovered from.
Beginnings, changes, endings - It took a lot of those to turn everything around... for the better.

...I thank God for George Clooney. Why? Wouldn't you?

...I thank God for the Inday jokes. Benta siya sakin for most times.

...I thank God for incadescent lamps. You are not eco-friendly but you make my condo look bigger.

...I thank God for Contis and Chelsea for being there when I need some comfort (food).

...I thank God for making me live through the first months of the year where I found out that my
mother was very sick and at the same time, the months where I had to run as an editor. He made me strong enough to endure the everything and gave me wisdom to finish the editorial board race exams and interviews with spunk even if I was already emotionally drained and harassed.

...I thank Him for making our family live through the day, that even if my mom was sick, she never experienced any severe complications all throughout. I thank him for teaching me to pray as hard as I could, for helping me to be stone-hard strong the whole time. I thank Him for making my mother closer to Him and giving her the strenght that she needed.

...I thank Him, that even if my mom had a record-breaking high level of creatinine, that she never had to go through dialysis. I thank Him for making her so strong, that she survived the year without a transplant and that she is now in tip-top shape and ready for her transplant in February.

...I thank God for the year that I have built such a great relationship with my little sister, Jacky. I thank Him for making me see her the way I never saw her before. I thank Him for making me realize that its never too late to open up and that Jacky is a burst of sunshine in every gloomy day that i'll live in my life.

...I thank God for the beautiful things in life that came in ugly wrappers. Opening them was breathtaking.

...I thank God for 2007 and the things I may have missed to mention.

I thank God for each day that I made it alive. I thank God for each day of changes, of beginnings... and even of ends.

I can't stop thanking...

It was such a wonderful year.

Material Girl

2007-12-13T04:58:00.000+08:00

My Christmas Wish List :-)

1. Andes Mint Chocolate

2. 4-hour sulk in a spa

3. A condo renovation (repainting, mounted cabinets, wall paper, flooring etc.)

4. Fendi Spyglass Sunglasses

5.NoyP laptop sleeve (14") [Zebra-Print] http://getnoyp.multiply.com/photos/photo/2/15.jpg

6.Kite Runner [hardbound] and A Thousand Splendid Suns both by Khaled Hosseini

7. A Rumi compilation of poetry [any]

8. Kate Spade 'Francis' Satchel

9. Satchel / Hobo type of bags

10. Cherry printed havianas (Im a 35-36) XP

11.Salvatore Ferregamo Vitoria calfskin Shoulder bag

12.Parker 100 Cobalt Black GT Fine Point Fountain Pen

13. Parker Latitude Fountain Pen

14. One-year subscription to TIME magazine

15. The perfect beef salpicao

17. A really good tailor for my corporate attires

18. Bose in-ear earphones

19. IPOD video 80GB

20.A portable DVD player

21.La Mer Miraculous Beginnings Set

22.Laura Mercier Apricot Face Tint / Kevyn Aucoin Beauty Creamy Moist Glow Blush

23. A large patrick stufftoy24 or a Love Mogu

25.Jordi Labanda notebooks

26. Travel planner

27. Another trip back to cebu and a booking at Shang.

28. A drive and chill-time anywhere.

29. A good book on Jean Harris

30. Sushi

31. A full lenght mirror

32. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

33. The Lonely Planet Blue Book!

34. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

35. Anything that would make me lose 40 pounds in 5 months. haha.

Hmm... I wish i get them. Haha.

No way out

2007-12-12T22:23:00.000+08:00

I'm asking myself If everything I'm doing is really worth the time. I always say that i need to reset my priorities, but it never really happens the way i planned it. I'm floating away something I DESPERATELY WANT, faster that you can say "chaos".

I question myself now. Now that Its too late (Or is it?).

I don't know if i'm a hopeless case or just plain hopeless. I can't get away with this with sheer luck (although i hope i could)

In a few days, fate will decide for me.

There are (2) scenarios

(1) First, everything i worked for and sacrificed (for the thing im working for) will slowly slip down the drain because i sacrificed what i sacrificed.

(2) I'll be such a lucky dork and things would go out as planned.

Anyway, whatever happens, i promise myself the luxury of hibernation. Really, i need to close down more than ever. My occassional escape works well with how i cope. I dont look good when I breakdown. I owe myself the decency of being the only one to relish in my kagagahan. I know people couldn't handle seeing me REALLY break down. You know, emotional, vulnerable... human. That side of me should be kept behind closed doors.

A few tears shed last sunday morning, for just a miniscule fraction of the real things I'm dealing with, was beyond embarassing. Buti na lang, it just lasted for a mere 5 minutes, in front of very few people (luckily, the ones i think would understand). And even that doesn't really take them to where i reside. I believe nobody has the idea what kind of things face me now.

Its one of those days where I just want the leftmost corner of my room, in my home... Where the wall understands me more than i could understand myself.

Decisions, decisions... they have to be made. they have to be made.

This is plain gibberish because i know, only i know what I'm blabbing about. Soryy, I'm thinking aloud. I just need to let it out.

Shuffle

2007-11-30T19:00:00.001+08:00

Got this from Froilan //

GUESS my music…

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever music player you have on random.

Step 2: Post a line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.

Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

Step 5: No cheating.

--------START----------

1. The dust has only begun to form, Crop circles in the carpet. Sinking, feeling.

2. You see this shackles baby, I’m your slave. I‘ll let you whip me if I misbehave

3. Say your lines but do you feel them? Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around?

4. Naaalala ko ang mga gabing nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan.

5. Kung tayo’y matanda na, Sana’y di tayo magbago. At kailan ma’y, nasaan ma’y, Ito ang pangarap ko.

6. Field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis, ay katulad ng buhay natin, isang mahabang pila - mabagal at walang katuturan.

7. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know how.

8. When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry when they see you.

9. Now this new one is the consequence, of the one we've just been through, As I'm bound to be the unavoidable consequence of you.

10. Staying awake to chase a dream, tasting the air you're breathing in.

11. Driving back to her apartment for the moment we're alone; She's alone, And I'm alone, Now I know it.

12. Morning will come and I'll do whats right, just give me till then to give up this fight.

13. He tastes like you, only sweeter.

14. Once around the floor, can we do it again?

15. She is trapped inside a month of gray, and they take a little every day.

16. One good stretch before our hibernation, our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well.

17. Meet me in outer space, I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.

18.You may say I'm a dreamer,But I'm not the only one.

19. So you sailed away, into a grey sky morning.

20. The thought of you makes me weak, there’s no word left to speak.

21. At sandali lang, huwag ka munang magsalita. Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala.

22. And I know that we're gonna be fine, And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time

23. No one ever said that there’s an easy way, and when they’re closin’ all their doors, and they don’t want you anymore - It sounds funny but I’ll say it anyway

24. Quiet nights of quiet stars, Quiet chords from my guitar, Floating on the silence that surrounds us.

25. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

26. Glaciers melting in the dead of night, And the superstars sucked into the 'supermassive'.

27. There's a somebody I'm longin' to see, I hope that he, turns out to be

28. Sometimes, when you and I collide, I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time.

29. Palayain ang isa’t isa.. kung tayo, tayo talaga..

30. You stood at the door / with your hands on my waist and you kissed me,
but you meant it and I knew that you meant it

buhay APP

2007-11-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

I am practically spending an average of 18 hours a day with Plaridel (publication) friends. Besides our usual residency hours in our dearly beloved nest (the office), my time with them extends til the wee hours of morning... (sometimes, we just sleep together, no joke.) Today, I am home at 2 am from Harbor. Slightly intoxicated and marginally poor [hello, its like ubusan-ng-allowance-every-night]. Yeah, parang di na kami nagsawa sa isa't isa... I wonder when the nights I spend with them will render a negative marginal utility. Parang hindi. Hindi kami magkasawaan. At ayokong magkasawaan kami.

Nag-uusap kami sa school, nag-uusap kami hanggang madaling araw (as in!)... eat together... we YM.... sleep together... we wake up together... and first things / people we see are each other.... then usap ulit... Never-ending cycle! =) Kaya, pag may nagsabi na ang Plaridel ay isang pamilya, maniwala ka pero sabihin mo may kulang. Its more than just that! Its like, everybody is everybody's special someone. Iba talaga ang culture. Its a happy drug you can't resist.
Naiiba iba lang minsan ang composition ng crowd.. but point is PLARIDEL pa rin! Hehehe... I love it. I'll miss this pag natapos na talaga ang lahat at kailangan ko na mag graduate =( On second thoughts, sabi nga ni Delfin Acuna (senior editor) - sino bang nagsabing kailangan mo mag-let go? hahaha... You can just sustain the plaridel lifestyle: Work hard, write smart, produce quality monthly, feel pressure, beat the deadlines, be stressed, turn suicidal (then back away after realizing the existence of alcohol), eat a lot, remain stressed... then drink and be merry!

Sana, nung pumasok ako sa Plaridel may nagsabi sakin na ganito pala >>

Una, pipili ka ng organ na gusto mong masira: Lungs or Liver

Pangalawa, you'll waive your right to correct sleeping hours

Pangatlo, dalawang taon na akong Plaridel & promise... it would cultivate a lot of addictive behavior

Pang-apat, hindi pwede ang balat sibuyas kasi babasagin ka talaga nila til hurting doesnt hurt anymore.. mageenjoy ka na lang. wala ka ng magagawa. They'll turn you up inside and out... Ang pikon... hindi lang talo... tinatarantado. Kaya, learn to adapt and be bastardized every now and then. Nobody is exempted. lahat dumadaan dito! pero masaya.. = )

Panglima, kailangan may camera ka. every night is a milestone. And photos are more like the "attendance" cheker...

Pang-apat (oops, anim pala), you'll gain weight.

Lastly, no secrets will remain secret. May 2 weeks rule. After 2 weeks, your secret is public

property.
Prepare for spur-of-the-moment adventures - from pointless walking to Cinemalaya to UAAP to a very wallet torturing trip somewhere or just to that beer bong in a nearby inuman place.Your family relations will somewhat be strained because you're gonna be on-call by plaridel almost every weekend. Thats how much time you'll spend with them.

Ayos 'di ba?

Actually, konti pa lang yan. Marami pang culture tidbits na gusto kong i-expose pero gusto ko pang matulog dahil paggising ko [ng 5am]... Guess what? Plaridel activity ulit! Ang BAYLAYN! [Its a program/competition that Plaridel holds for high school students to cultivate their journalism skills.] Sounds noble, right? only to to know that these kids will end up in Plaridel and live the lifestyle...

Oo naman, work is work. Trust that the news and features we give you are balanced, no-bullshit, high caliber journalism. We are credible as writers...

Pero, outside work - Its really whoa. haha. yun na lang nasabi eh...Haha...

Anyway,

This month is a celebration of the publications 23rd anniversary and yes i promised to post another entry just for that occassion...But treat this as a teaser. I wanna sleep. Plaridel, i'll see you (again) tommorrow.

"Mahirap magbingi-bingihan sa katotohanan, mahirap magsulat ngunit kinakailangan"

Live...and let go.

2007-11-18T00:49:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is breathe and take a deep sigh whenever something makes an unexpected detour. Hindi na mapipigilan pa. Kumbaga, kung sumakay ka sa rollecoaster, kapag dumating na yung scary part, hindi mo pwedeng ipatigil. Kasi, may ibang nakasakay rin. Saka, kung titigil man ito (na malamang ay hindi mangyayari) you'll be stuck for a while but end point is, you're just delaying it, mangyayari pa rin siya.So, ang ending, Kailangan mo na lang maging matapang kasi wala ka nanamang ibang magagawa.

Sabi nga ni Kathleen Norris, "Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past, it only loses the future". Maybe, we must learn to move on and outgrow things. Even when our hearts say that we should go the other way, taking on unfamiliar waters and moving beyond our comfort zone will always be the brave and right choice. We always have to move on, go forward... The memories made will always be there. You lived that day. But staying there is pointless... Time will continue to unfold change and holding on to yesterday might make it just a little more than complicated. Live in that moment, savor it... but always learn to grow... and let it go. The feelings might keep you intact for a while, but its never enough to make you survive. Moving on does not mean you'll forget, it just means, you're seeing things on another horizon. It always happens. Change always happens. Minsan iba lang ang pacing para sa iba't ibang tao, but it happens..inevitably. At dahil alam mo na yun, don't let yourself be taken by it off-guard. Ihanda mo ang sarili mo sa pagbitiw. Lahat naman, kailangan bumitiw at some point.
Yes, Its hard to do but I do do believe that we grow a little everytime we let go.

A day stronger than yesterday. Dapat.

Ibagsak.. Ibagsak...

2007-11-16T08:40:00.000+08:00

We're doing an article on the Lasallians recovery from being taunted as apathetic and although I always agreed that Lasallians DO CARE, there was still a tinge of hesitation in my mind. In my interviews, I came across my co-LMG student's opinion and it pretty much, made a whole lot of sense to me =)

"I believe Lasallians are as socially aware now than when we were taunted as apathetic. Sure, us Lasallians then and now are more silent than our neighboring bayan scholars. However, I believe that social awareness and reaction is actually a question of strategy formulation, not of speed. Biding one's time and thinking before acting is different from being apathetic. We care, it's just that we internalize issues more and analyze how best to act in the given situation. I am not suggesting that students of other schools do not think like businessmen, but Lasallians do take their time to make sure something works." - Abdul Onos

Yes, that is so true. Thinking before acting (or in this case, rallying) is a much better option that having to go to the streets without knowing what the real issues are. More strategy and depth than just blindly following the trends. Lasallians are more like that (and sana will remain like that). They give stands on issues and they take action if its extremely neccessary. Kesa naman pumunta ng pumunta sa mga rally na walang ibang isinisigaw kung hindi "IBAGSAK"... nagpapabagsak pero may tinatayo ba? Seeing both sides of the picture first could mean a better gauge on what to do. i dread the day that in the search for that so-called "social awareness" we end up like the others whose efforts become futile over time because, rally after rally, the administration becomes immune and walang nangyayari kasi laging rally lang at wala talagang formulated na solution. God forbid, we become a more despicable kind - the active now apathetic after kind of youth. Which, I have seen for a couple of times already.

Yes, it going to the streets to make your grievances heard is a good thing, but just as another friend (hi leo!) has said; if you're the rich and powerful [ie. NGOs, high society, politicians, rich businessmen, rich kids (think EDSA DOS)], why don't you exercise the power and money you have to make things actually happen? Instead of causing traffic, make things happen because you actually can. Hindi ba mas maganda if the rich, powerful and influencial individuals (and aminin natin, some of those kind of people belongs to DLSU) who join such demonstrations, do something that can CHANGE the system? Sure enough, they can do more with their power than just media mileage.

But then again, we could only speak for ourselves... ;-)

Truth

2007-10-24T20:38:00.000+08:00

The truth is painful.

Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home.

Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give.

Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out

loud to hear it for ourselves.

sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves.

And Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.

-greys anatomy, season 4.

mathematical drama

2007-10-23T14:28:00.000+08:00

I woke up today to a different feeling. I know things will never be the same (or so i thought). It's like, i had an ultra-flashback of the past years and realized how huge changes took over my life, and how I let it... I never second-guessed the things that happened and I pretty much just went with the waves... nawalan na ako ng oras mag-isip... may mga bagay na ginawa dahil nararamdaman kong kailangan kong gawin.. It was always mind over heart but I let it work the other way around... I just let go of everything I held on to, gave up on the logical and the rational and surrendered to whatever it is that would happen to me... So far, i think its worth it somehow, but I miss my old self. i miss how I was so hard on myself that i push myself beyond the limit... I miss that kind of monstrous drive... That's the kind of motivation I need now... I miss it but I don't know how dangerous it would be If I go back to my old ways... Maaaring makabuti pero baka makasama rin... Again, its a debate inside my mind.

Iniisip ko nga if I adapt a modified version... I'll have the same laid-back me but get the old non-sleeping, monster-study, no multiply, non-blogging karla that I was... Pero I'll go easy on the energy drinks, caffeine and stresstabs this time... baka bumigay katawan ko... and maybe i'll get too cranky...haha...

Pero... napansin ko talaga na medyo i got relaxed... May mga napabayaan akong hindi dapat. Pero, kahit naman dati, when I worked hard on my studies, I sacrificed 'pahinga' and 'personal joys' somehow eh... hindi naman totally... but I haven't enjoyed life and been happy as much as I am now... Oh well... you can't really have it both ways...

hayy... pero... I want a win-win situation! I want to have it both ways! Bakit ba!?

Okay ang studies and okay ang everything else! Nangyari naman kasi yun at one point in my life eh...

Actually, Wala naman akong binabagsak ngayon pero baka malapit na...

My mind is defeating my heart again... Parang La Salle, nag-comeback...

i am rationalizing an irrational world, and that's so... irrational. haha. gulo. labo...

I'm confused... This is like an asymptote... There... touching what needs to be... but not quite!

I'm lost in the graph of life... haha! god... I cannot solve the system of equations of my decisions.

forgive my mathematical drama.

di ko na alam sinasabi ko..

I am so labo. haha.

"quasi - in deep thought"

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fears bravely or move forward with faith? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?" - Lucas Scott

Near Death

2007-10-16T18:15:00.000+08:00

If I crossed Taft Avenue from North Gate to Burgundy two (2) seconds earlier than when i actually crossed the street,

I am now DEAD.

A bus from hell was zooming through taft and I was an effin' inch from being ran over. It was that close to my face and I wonder how I, walking forward managed to work my reflexes and back off agad.

I am with 10 people and everybody froze to their feet. In shock or whatever, the point that I realized is.

Nobody could really save me.

No person could.

Sabi nga ni Earl, dati sinasabi natin ang tao sa pelikula parang tanga pag natutulala kapag my nangyayaring bagay kung kailan dapat mag-respond sila agad... Pero totoo daw, they froze on their feet.

If I walked was 2 seconds earlier, or if I walked faster, you are probably receiving invitations to my funeral with my casket closed because I am crushed to my bones.

Something pulled me

away from death.

Cool lang ako kanina, no tears, no nothing. Ngayon lang nag-si-sink in ang lahat. Ganun pala ang mararamdaman mo. Tapos ang lahat in a split second.

It is this day that I'm really down on my knees, thanking him.

God, if you read my blog, you rock man! Thank you for a second chance at life.

I love physics and I believe that you cannot scientifically explain how fast my reflexes were, or if it was even reflexes that pulled me back.

GOD REALLY DOES SAVES.

believe.

Me vs. Calculus game 1

2007-10-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

And then I realized... I love basketball so much that besides the fact that my blog has morphed into one hell of a basketball blog, the numbers are on my academic scoreboard - and I'm losing.

The 70th season of the UAAP has taken a toll on my studies, particularly my Math subject. I am taking Calculus for the first time without dropping it. I always drop this subject and always leave it for later. But this term, i became WO-MAN enough to take it without dropping it because Frederick Halcon (extremely young, intelligent, effective and cute prof in CBE) will be the one teaching it.

I have missed classes so much because of games and things that arise from games that I have lost more than what my UAAP ticket could ever amount to - my tuition fee. Since this term, whenever i get my quizzes in calculus, i shut my eyes to NOT see the score and shove it in the farthest portion of my bag. i believe that in doing that, i am forced to study harder because i am one hell of a pessimist and i will, more or less, think that I am failing.

On the contrary, I have become so accustomed to the cut-now-araneta-now lifestyle that I have lost all concern in Mathematics. I used to have precautionary measures dealing with my Math problem. I go to Math Coach in Ateneo to brush up my Math skills (since thats the only math tutorial center i know), since i hardly have any. And believe me, pride has kept me from going in that Atenean - infested study center.

So, today, when I got my second quiz in Calculus, I looked at it and I felt the coldness running from my spine up to my neck. Whoa. i failed and I failed pretty hard, I tell ya. This can't be the case. After a near-stellar performance last term (considering my editorial duties) i cannot accept a failure. Nada! I have to rebound this sure shot to failing thing before midterms or I'll regret this forever. I immediately texted my mom and reported my failure to unload. Also, a curse-ridden text message to Marlon & Mares to just vent out my disappointing performance.

Yes, UAAP was a happy stint but that's precisely the core of this dillema. it was so happy that I relaxed my defense too much that I let the ball slip from my hands.

I am timing out to think things over and plan a smashing comeback strategy.

I effin' want a 100% in the next quiz.

ANIMO KARLA!

Vindication ||| ANIMO LA SALLE!!!

2007-10-08T05:47:00.000+08:00

10/07/2007

73-64. LA SALLE WINS THE CHAMPIONSHIP!

La Salle sweeps the FINALS, nailing the two games of the best-of-three finals series with the eliminations sweepers, UE red warriors. Winning when it mattered the most, the Green Squad proved once again, that they are back from the one year suspension to bring back the crown to Taft. This was a classic story of triumph over adversity, since all throughout the season, there were a lot of turbulent times that tested the faith, not just of the players but the whole La Sallian community. We were the underdogs during the La Salle - Ateneo series and was unfairly taunted during the season with "Suspended" (for the suspension of DLSU last season) and "wrong spelling" (for an unfortunate accident during the cheering competition." BUT THE LA SALLIAN COMMUNITY HAVE RISEN UP AND HAD AN IN-YOUR-FACE redeeming off court win in cheering back for the team (SEE MY PREVIOUS POSTS). This finals, even in television (Hard ball @ ANC), the undefeated squad (during the eliminations) of the UE Red Warriors were favored by the sports veterans and writers alike. BUT, DLSU have proven that we are worthy of the coveted UAAP crown by beating the Warriors with a nine-point lead in the second and final game of this season. Anong chama-han!!!???

La Salle TOTALLy dominated the game in all the quarters, With all the players, led my TY Tang, JVEE Casio, Rico Maierhoffer and Pocholo Villanueva shooting the loopers and maintaining good defense all throughout the game. If TY tang was on fire during GAME 1, Casio and Villanueva were walking volcanoes.Casio was going berserk after nailing 17 points, 3 rebounds and 2 assists. Cholo Villanueva went crazy after scoring 14 points, 5 rebounds and 2 assists. BOTH PLAYERS were awarded the MVP trophy. Grabe lahat talaga gumawa. Si Ferdinand, galing dumepensa! Si Kish Co, bglang gumaling! Si Rico halos pasok lahat ng charity shots! Ang ganda ng strategy ni coach Franz! NAKAKAIYAK! Saka huwag niyong sasabihing chambahan lang 'to because nung 2nd quarter, La Salle had a score of 30-16, its biggest lead in the game. TAMBAK kaya ang UE!

Although, It was anybody's game nung last minutes ng 4th quarter with UE chasing us in the scoreboards but hindi lumamig ang depensa and it seemed like they were playing our game, kaya naman nasa La Salle talaga ang advantage. This WIN WAS TRULY DESERVED!!! ANIMO LA SALLE!!!

WE'RE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!!

The GLORY is BACK where it BELONGS!!!

Here's the drama off-court:

After the championship, there was a little salu-salo back in Taft. All the players had their chance to speak. Even the people behind the team, like coach Franz, his coaching staff, Gang Green etc. Sobrang saya! Classes will be suspended 4PM onwards on Thursday for a victory party @ the central Plaza (bakit hindi na lang sa field!??) Sumayaw pa sina Rico, Walsham and Cholo (the video of which will be uploaded soon) and then lahat din sila sumayaw -- ang cute!!! All their gilfriends were with them (for those who have one) but it was so funny 'coz yung iba were sitting on their laps (kasi wala ng seats talaga) tapos natawa ako when Webb (of the Jts. team, sat on the lap of former teammate Simon Atkins!) HAHAHA :-) SWEEP nga pala 'coz we also got the juniors crown c/o Webb led De La Salle - Zobel basketeers.

Wow, sa wakas, makakabalik na ako sa pagiging normal na estudyante. :-)

It was a great GREAT season with La Salle bringing back the glory where it belongs. Halos lahat ng games, mula pa nung opening, ay pinanood ng Ang Pahayagang Plaridel. I'll miss the times where there are at least (at least!) one whole row of seats are reserved for he APP people and the times where we were the ones covering the action. We screamed our lungs out with the other La Sallians not only when it mattered. Win or Lose - there was always a feast waiting for us. Mamimiss ko ang Gateway and Alan's grill. I also brought my shobe (my 10 year old little sister) along in almost all the games and I can fairly say that her Animo is already ignited. Kabisado nya na lahat ng cheers, kaibigan nya na ang kaibigan ko, gumawa pa siya ng banners [na sobrang ganda by the way] and most of all, nahilig na rin sa UAAP basketball! Ang kulang na lang, ipasa nya ang entrance test for La Salle when the time comes. Hay... I almost maximized my allowable cuts for my TH classes for all the games!!!I'll miss the bonding! i hardly see my sister now 'coz i live on my own already but the UAAP was a way to reconnect with her =)

A special thanks to my Plaridel family for making each game worthwhile. Hindi ako nahirapan sa tickets tapos ang saya because we were cheering in unison all the time. Tapos, because some Plaridel people were also athletes and PEP members, we had little privileges. Like, me sitting with Enchong Dee! HAHA.. Kilig!!! Thanks to the Sports Editor Del.. the experience was more rewarding... It was soooo gulo! Imagine, a row for all of us. Sobrang fun. My love for basketball was compensated by this wonderful season. Yung asaran, panlalait sa ibang schools.. hahaha... i'll miss that! Alam ko naman I am really always with you guys (Plaridel) but I'll miss our UAAP basketball stint kasi even the South people, laging kasama sa attendance =)

YES, this game is not just MERE BASKETBALL. It means more than that. Sports show us how far the human possibilities are. It shows us the HEART of each university. It gives us an idea that ones passion for the game could bring out the best in others.

A great season!

The Animo will be in our HEARTS...FOREVER!

Note: I will post a compendium of all our UAAP photos this season in a few days.

Note no. 2: In the latest tally for the worlds TOP 1000 universities of the world, La Salle and UP are the only schools included in the Philippines.

Sweep Break

2007-10-04T23:27:00.001+08:00

JVEE, Rico, Cholo and Simon wearing Animoism :-) animoism.multiply.com

I heart Joseph Casio :-)

TODAYS GAME...

17 points for TY, 12 for JV and that split charity from Maierhoffer in the last seconds!

64-63 in favor of La Salle. Relatively strong defense. Great offense.

UE is undefeated no more.

victory is sweet tonight 'coz UE is tremendously talented. No one expected this. They are good. Sobra.

Pero, mabuti at pinantayan naman this time ng Green and White Squad. ANIMO!

Thanks to my red ballpen, I was able to exercise being a PRESS person again ;-) haha...

I almost lost my phone BTW. Kasi, i dropped it sa upper B when we were going down to "cover", thanks to my Angel Imman... buti ikaw nakapulot. I thought It was going to be gone forever. Biruin mo yun, napulot nya sa floor... Imman *hug*

An then...

We ate at Alan's grill after. All 17 of us. Yeah... that's kind of our ritual - win, lose - all of us Plaridel people eat together. Eat for glory or defeat, doesn't matter. We just EAT good food. Kanina, the kare-kare and the crispy pata was divine.

Alan's grill caters Filipino food (its sooo good) and even has a slot machine inside for people to play with for kicks.

Kuya JC (our eic), sorry hindi ka pala jinx. We were all teasing him kasi all the games he watched, talo ang La Salle. But tonight is the night when you proved us all wrong. Haha. kahit tinetext na siya ng mga tao nung tie ang UE & DLSU na "banyo ka muna", "labas ka na Araneta", "liwaliw ka muna sa gateway"...haha...hindi ka jinx! ang cute... hehe...

See you all on Sunday.

I HEART Casio talaga! *swoon*

'nuf said

2007-09-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

09/30/2007

"This is the only time that 2 is greater than 3" – Franz Pumaren

65-60

Winning the CRUCIAL games this season, La Salle has managed to crush the Eagles with a score of 65-60, proving that they deserve to be in the Finals. Nailing the twice to beat advantage, La Salle secured the finals slot against UE tonight with a five point lead against archrival Ateneo! This was a very VERY good series with Ateneo. Probably one of the most memorable La Salle-Ateneo series of this decade! Imagine, 23,000++ people in Araneta Coliseum, the biggest crowd in Philippine Basketball History!!! Ateneo played their best and La Salle was hungry to prove themselves! I LOVE basketball so much and being there was just phenomenal. It’s like you’re part of history!

_____________HALFTIME
Our half time performance.was just redeeming. Ang sarap SARAP ng feeling. Kudos to my co-writers in Plaridel who are also part of the PEP squad [Harold, Wawi, Ian]. You guys are VINDICATED. After the cheering competition, where the DLSU PEP squad accidentally misspelled LA SALLE into AL SALLE that gave way for a lot of teasing from other schools (esp. AdMU). I thought it was unfair ‘coz that was an ACCIDENT but that’s an expected response from the opposing team. The DLSU crowd, for the longest time, never directly retaliated from all the taunting. And tonight, THE DLSU PEP SQUAD gave their most hair-raising performance. Redemption at last!

As usual, the Ateneo crowd was taunting us as “wrong spelling” but they were in for the surprise of the season when after the PEP SQUAD finished their usual routine, lined up and peeled off their jackets. Facing the DLSU crowd, it read ‘HAIL TO DE LA SALLE’, with every letter on their shirt. Then they faced the Ateneo CROWD and it revealed to the Lasallian crowd what they had on their backs. “NEVER SHALL WE FAIL’”. Grabe! It was that kind of movie-ish dramatic ending! - ANIMO LA SALLE!

Check the VID here =) http://dividedby17.multiply.com/video/item/3

Then dumb-founded, the Ateneo crowd wasn’t in their usual energetic selves. When their allotted time for half time began, they chose their usual drum-line to pump things up. Again,a small partition from the Ateneo crowd started chanting “wrong spelling”. That same moment the Ateneo drum line faced the green & white side and to their shock, certain people from upper-A held up a super-duper BIG banner that had the THES-Q ranking of the World’s Best private university. In green was La Salle’s ranking #392 and then in blue was Ateneo’s rank at #488 (actually that’s 483). Again, the DLSU crowd, winning in the scoreboard (and ths time, in the off-court scoreboard too) went wild. This was finally the answer to all the “Suspended” and “Sus” banners they unabashedly flashed throughout the series. Yes, we may be bad spellers but we're good in everything else that matters! :-P

_________________GAME
TY Tang and JVEE Casio was in heat but Cholo Villanueva was on fire! Cushioning the win, he got nine points on the score board in the last eight minutes! Muntik na nga maulit ang September 27 undeserved loss to the eagles when Chris Tiu faked a three-pointer then passed it to Baclao forcing a nerve-wracking 62-60. (comment: Chris Tiu is so HOT.) - - At that time, nagdadasal na kami. This could be a miracle win (again) for Ateneo. Chris Tiu almost played messiah again. Buti na lang, unlike the other times, hindi na malamig ang opensa ng Green and White squad. Bantay-sarado! Ganun dapat! Walang relax-relax :-> Rico managed to score a free throw. From there, the Green crowd just went berserk! Nakakalunod ang dami ng tao! Ang galing! After the game, TY and Chris Tiu gave each other a true sportsman’s embrace. Unknown to many, TY and Chris are good GOOD friends, that’s why you never see them stealing balls from each other. :-)

Waaahh… This is how they [DLSU] should always perform > lahat gumagawa at mahigpit ang dpensa.. low-scoring kaya naman its really evident that nagbantay talaga both teams. It was a basketball saga no one could ever forget. Credit to both teams for giving us collegiate basketball as its finest! At this pont, championship doesn’t seem to matter. Bonus na lang yun eh…

The 5-game La Salle-Ateneo series was tremendously electrifying. The most crucial game, I believe, was won tonight. ANIMO LA SALLE!

Ubelt Norman Vergara wrote:
NOTES: Franz Pumaren improved his Final 4 win-loss record to 9-3 overall since taking over the Archers in 1998. One of the three losses was against Ateneo in 2003, the only time Pumaren and the Archers lost in the Final 4. The other two defeats only forced knockout matches, with the Archers winning on both times...The Archers remained unbeaten in the Final 4 when they have the twice-to-beat advantage…The five-point winning margin last night was the biggest in the two teams’ five meetings this season.

GREEN COHESION ANIMO NATION!

Cheap Shot.

2007-09-28T01:46:00.000+08:00

CHEAP SHOT.
-Karla Rose Gutierrez.

Here's the dung on your heads, my dear Atenistas.

Una, you're so effin' full of yourselves. You think you're basketball gods this season because you won (so far) three out of four games against La Salle? Sige, be proud of your 3 wins, 1 loss performance this season against La Salle. Rub it in. Mag-feeling kayo hanggang gusto niyo. If you win 2nd place, you think you can beat UE? Reality is, you're just a bunch of overrated idiots. DE LA SALLE UNIVERSITY HAS A 4-peat back to back to back championship in this decade. And you have what? A 2002 championship. ONE championship which was excessively sensationalized with an uber-dramatic bonfire and a book (season of grace) which had your players blabbing about themselves. PATHETIC.

Pangalawa, SUSPENDED ba kami? yan ba yung banner nyo? SUSPENDED but Who's next? Oo na. Suspended kung suspended pero NOBODY CAUGHT US we caught them [ineligible players] ourselves and we surrendered them. We were honest about it. Then you start out with that tarpaulin. Eh kayo? You have ineligible players, you just don't have the balls to come clean about the issue. Stare at the faces of the Ateneans holding that banner. Thats Jesuit education for you!

Pangatlo, THE SHIRT. Suprisingly, Ateneans have the gall to produce a shirt that says

FRONT: I passed the ACET

BACK: I'm sure U dint. - with U in recognizable La Sallian font.

Do you really want me to shove the truth to your faces? You want me to match your stupid generalization? (although, I think this is, although also a generalization, something more sound that what u Ateneans put on your shirts.)

MANALO, MATALO - ako ang employer mo.

isa pa,

Sayo na ACET mo, ako naman magpapasuweldo sayo.

You also taunt us by saying that you're smart and we're not. That you're the no. 2 school...blablabla... Wake up! According to the latest Global Survey, La Salle now ranks as the no. 2 school in RP.

Sure, Ateneans always say that La Salle only produced Gary Valenciano, some successful businessmen and politicians but nothing like what they have produced daw.

NOW, you're forcing me to brag. Yes, we have produced very talented people, including Gary valenciano. We produced innovative minds who doesn't need to chase the spotlight when they do something great. We produced businessmen who give jobs to this country's population. Engineers, accountants, writers, directors etc. - who are, besides being of a high-caliber, are with credibility and dignty. We produced inventions that would make this country proud. We produced quality people with a conscience.

What have you produced?

Joseph Estrada?

Mike Arroyo?

O, suspended ba kami dahil sa pandaraya last year sa basketball? Sana masuspendi din kayo sa pagiging isang unibersidad dahil para saakin, sa inyo nanggaling ang mga tarantadong kurakot na pulitiko na nagpapahirap sa bansang 'to!

Saka kayo, ang hilig nyo magbuhat ng sarili niyong bangko. Your good deeds are overly-publicized. Sa La Salle, hindi na bina-bother ng mga Christian Brothers ipaalam pa sa iba.

Pang-apat, NY times crap.

Raphael Bartholomew writes a piece on Philippine basketball culture for the New York Times. This guy did a research in ateneo and was a lecturer there. He's now writing a book on Philippine basketball.

READ>>>

"Although Ateneo and La Salle have similar upper-class student bodies, their respective basketball teams are very different.The Ateneo players have a squeaky-clean image. The team’s prize freshman, Kirk Long, came from Faith Academy, a high school in suburban Manila for the children of foreign missionaries. Guard Eric Salamat’s surname means thank you in Tagalog.

La Salle’s players have a menacing swagger, with tattoos, headbands, shaved heads and chin-strap beards. In 2005, La Salle revealed that two of its players had used phony high school equivalency results in their applications, and the team was suspended for the 2006 season. "

Karla writes:

Whoever he is, he's talking about shit he knows nothing about. First, it is so obvious that this man is a walking fallacy. His generalizations are dumb & he's findings are inaccurate. I will definitely NOT buy his book if it gets published.

statement 1: ateneo's players have a squeaky clean image

how he proves it: Claiming that Kirk Long is "came from Faith Academy, a high school in suburban Manila for the children of foreign missionaries. Guard Eric Salamat’s surname means thank you in Tagalog." THAT IS JUST DUMB. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE ALLOWED TO WRITE IN NY TIMES. This is the first time I heard about Faith academy and if its an image booster for Long, why dont we even know that school? Not that its a bad school, but were talking of 'squeaky clean image' here. Then, just because Eric Salamat's name is translated into Thank You in Filipino, it gives him a good image? whats this, a kindergarten read? Move over Dr. Suess! HAHA.

statement 2:"La Salle’s players have a menacing swagger, with tattoos, headbands, shaved heads and chin-strap beards." then further justifying that with "In 2005, La Salle revealed that two of its players had used phony high school equivalency results in their applications, and the team was suspended for the 2006 season"

good god. It's like he's correlating physical appearance with the faking of high school equivalency results. Shaved heads give people a menacing image? whatever happened to the monks? HAHA. Marami namang NBA players ang may similar 'porma' with the La Salle players ha. Ayos naman ang image nila. Diba may kalbo din sa Ateneo? I want Bartholomew to read item Pangatlo (3). I would also recommend him to a pre-school book publisher.

FINALLY, I want to just say that this was made because of the picture that you saw earlier. This was written in the midst of rage. Apologies to my Atenean friends who are nothing like how I pictured the other Ateneans. Not all Ateneans are like what I have mentioned, although most of them are!

But If there is one thing I would be firm about in this entry, it is this:

ID RATHER BE GREEN, than be blue.

Solbeam

2007-09-01T00:13:00.000+08:00

The irrational numbered list

2007-08-22T01:01:00.000+08:00

1.Toblerone Cake @ Chelsea's Serendra

2.I have incredibly hot & charming seatmates this term

3.I had a Nescafe moment under the rain (please, spare me from having to explain this
mushiness.) its the payong.

4. My first poetry reading at a far-flung place with amazing minds. The invitation was of a certain secrecy that my drive with some very interesting people i got to know, seemed to be a secret drive of spies. It was like going to a meeting of some sort of secret society. Nobody was allowed to say who was IN. At first I was hesitant but i found that day in Laguna, with wine and great (sumptous) food, a memory i'll have for keeps.Pablo Neruda, Mary Oliver, Margaret Atwood, Rio Alma, Johann Vladimir, Angela Manalang Gloria, John Milton and the other great poets - we were at their mercy for that one afternoon. Eating poetry.

"Every poem has a wound" - so true.

5. PSP is eye candy. stop bringing your PSPs kids! im orangey jealous. haha.

6.I want some tailored suits.

7. French at La Cabane - thanks for that dinner in Arnaiz! we tried it! yey!

8.Im enjoying this worlds' food

9. Gonna try this new water spa, Princess is bragging about

10.Galileo Enoteca is not so secret anymore

11.I like secrets

12. Finals is coming

13. Lasallians will suffer a two-day term break (no kidding)

14. Officially a chronic insomniac

15. Iterax does not seem to worl, so does melatonin-r.

16. I want my As

17. Sushi

18. Ebiko

19. Beach

20. if any of my seatmates read this, please disregard the first number and repress it from your memory. You might NOT be it. I have a lot of classes!

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

2007-08-01T04:30:00.000+08:00

(originally drafted on the last day of July)

The seventh month of the Gregorian Calendar has its way of twisting my fate or just rubbing things in. Is it because it was named after Julius Caesar who was born in the same month -- and because he is a dictator,this month has to shove things to my face, point blank - JUST LIKE HOW JULIUS CAESAR IMPOSES HIMSELF to the Roman world in ancient times? Para bang July has so much to say to me. So much to make me feel.

I started it [July] with a pinch of controversy to take off to the good things.

070707

The UAAP opening. I was there with my EIC (JC), Associate Editor (Rain), Managers (Roma, Mares) and other members of the publication (Al James, Goldameir, Earl and Ronnel.The bulk of the people in the publication wasthere. 3 Plaridel folks were front-runners as they are also members of the PEP squad (Harold, Wawi and Ian), Tina, the layout ed was with some of her friends sa patron. Del and other sportees who had UAAP IDs were covering stuff on the court side. There was an issue about the use of our PRESS IDs. Yes, we do get some special treatment and our gen Ad suddenly became Upper Box A. Patron became courtside. With your PRESS ID comes something else. There was no question that it was unethical (and it does deserve an apology from us) but ironically, games that succeed this would prove that some who went bragging about their unobjectionable spotless-ness would eventually use the power we mis-exercised just the same way. It was opening and my job was done. We all had fun. What the heck? oh well. Sometimes we have to step back and look at the bigger picture: There's no use in arguing for things that have long been over. Besides, we love each other too much to dwell on it longer than 2 days =) i love Plaridel. We bowed down to the guillotine and patched things up, headless as we seem to have become. We still loved each other. Case closed.

Tuesday, July 24
the Court of Appeals Justice, Jose Reyes hates me bit by bit. Maybe because i don't take notes (I really can't take notes and listen. i just listen and look. then copy other peoples notes) or its just because I seem to have no interest in Civil Law and Civil procedure. But tonight is the night of vindication. 93% on a Civil Law Exam checked by Justice Reyes - the man who does NOT like me. This has to be celebrated. With my Legal Mgt friends, Errol, Philline, Ces and Mykelle, we head to GP (Greenplace 'place' - inuman venue for lasallians) to break our brains and everything else - in short, basagan. We had to hurry coz it was our class ended 9:10 PM (PM!!!) and some had to go home by 10. So, pitchers and pitchers of mixed alcohol, which only Me and Phil drank continously have ceased to exist in a matter of 30 minutes. Hindi ako madaling malasing, IF there is correct pacing. Pero mga tsong, laklakin mo ba naman ang ilang pitcher ng 30 minutes. This is the first time that I will declare that I was drunk. So drunk that I even smiled at people i don't know, said things i shouldnt have and tinawid pa ni Errol because i was so friggin fried I couldnt walk by myself. If i did, you guys are probably still mourning (or rejoicing) my death. So, there i was delivered to Burgundy by Errol but it doesnt stop there. I sit in our store, half hallucinating and half sleeping. Peter and Ton caught up w/ me. I was hallucinating, dizzy and flying. Ton and Peter had to help me ride the elevator and return me to 1510, just to make sure that I do go to 1510. I can walk but I cannot think. I fumbled with my keys, and tried to sort it out and at the time of drunkeness - key sorting seemed to be the hardest thing to do. Hay, pero still, i hold the record of not vommiting ever, due to alcohol. Cheers to that! Haha.

----------------------------------
Wednesday, July 25

I wore something formal and polka-dots-y. As to distract attention and questions from last nights events (from people who saw me and for MYSELF TOO). it was polka dot denial! Sans the hangover, today I have cut FINAMA1 for Cinemalaya 2007. I went to watch TRIBU by J.Libiran @ CCP w/ Del, Marlon, Earl, Raf, Leo. After the movie, we ate at Harbor square.
I wouldn't post a review about the flick as i see it as redundant but I would give you an excerpt of an article I got from the net to make you wonder about what the film is about. The film was REAL in every sense of the word. Praaamis!
http://pep.ph/guide/934/Tribu-is-Cinemalaya-2007-best-full-
length-feature-film-
"Tribu was cited as best fil for its 'grand and graphic depiction of contemorary Tondo, in its raw passion and searing violence.."

I liked the film for the honestly and bluntness except for the fact that it sensationalized what doesnt need to be.

----------------------------------
Thursday, July 26

LA SALLE is beaten by ateneo.77-80. i watched live w/ JC, Aiyu, mares, AJ, JDavid and other Lasalistas.talo pero we had fun. Close eh. Pero I know, DLSU will make habol. bilog ang bola!!! hahahaha :-)) I almost missed the game because of some ticket shortage but you see, theres always a ticket for someone as madiskarte as I am. No scalpers, no overcharge. I got my Upper B @ 70, Beat that! SRo at 1pm were sheer luck and the fact that I was around Gateway at the time of release was fate!

---------------------------------------
Friday, July 27

I held a successful meeting with my staff were I cooked pasta for them and gave them a rundown on what happens on August and what we did on July. Roma brought pizza and other pitched in through beverages etc. 15++ people, on the floor of what seemed to be the grandest, most delicious, section meeting this publication office had ever seen. Maganda ang napag-usapan and we arrived at solutions for the glitches. After that, I gathered my friends for Friday night drinks. My work for the week was done and i needed to take a break. haha. Again, another episode of hardcore basagan. This time in my condo. The liquid consumed - God knows how many bottles of RH grande and 4 long neck Emperadors. The people - Del, Peter, Tope, Chris Q., raf, Leo, Susan, mares and ronnel (dumaan pa c Stan n Marlon!)_. My room was off-limits so my sala was as far as they could go. Considering how many we were, the fire exit served as an extension of my room (Its adjacent to my room). Haha. Lets just put it this way. We started around 9 and ended around 3am. We f*ckin loved each other after that. Tinamaan ng lintik ang bubuwag sa koalisyon namin! Basta sa fire exit, muntik na magkasunog! haha. I appluad my friends for following my number 1 policy - WALANG TAKASAN SA LIGPITAN. I am O.C. with cleanliness in my room and they know that. Even if I am floating drunk, nagpupulot ako ng nalaglag na chips. Buti naman, they left my unit spotless and clean, even in their drunken states.
3am: Chris, Ronnel n Me walked Mares to her Apartment and the three of us went to Mings to get --- BREAKFAST! We walked in the rain (and with the slight flood) with Ronnel even dancing ala Sound of Music while it was drizzling. We couldnt care anymore about the rain n the flood. we just wanted to eat. haha! Surprisingly, philosophies are made in the influence of alcohol. Cheers to that, again!

Hayy.. One of the nights (or days) were good friends just have FUN. A well-attended, unplanned drinkathon. At para sa pupuna saamin. Excuse us, majority ng naginuman ay DL! haha! At least di kami nagddrugs! HAHA! Ang saya. super. sobra talaga.

Saturday, July 28
Would you believe halos the same people last night watched CINEMALAYA today? Del, Marlon, Raf, Leo and Aljames went to CCP to watch Pisay and Doble Vista. Tambay sa Harbor. Kain. Usap. With half a hangover, i figured some strength to go to CCP.

Doble Vista made me proud (its a DLSU CommArts thesis)

Pisay was my best film for the fest. It was simple but cute. May sense. hindi trying hard pero tagos.(I'll post a synopsis one of this days)

We went home around 10 PM, super daming tao sa CCP. I love Cinemalaya. Just the same as last years. cguro pati next year! I hope other people would invest time to watch it!

-------------------------------------------------

July has it way of bidding goodbye to me. He knows that he's the month wereTHINGS REALLY HAPPEN to me. My last week was a literal phase of drunken daze of plain truthfulness and art.

Realizations: im having TOO MUCH fun, and nobodys complaining.

Hayyyy... July. i love July.

Full Circle

2007-07-23T23:34:00.001+08:00

I used to think people who just gaze at idle nothingness
are just pretentious posers who had too much prozac the previous night.

Now, i know that sometimes, when you stare into something and don't
find any sense in it, you begin to think about a lot of things. The surface
loses the meaning and you jump from little thoughts to three big concepts
- past, present, future.

The other night, I had to think about a decision that would shape my fate
for the next two years. It was my ambition or my family.

All the fun and adventure I'm having in college right now, strained family relations
to a certain extent.

Yeah, I know most of you know that my family life is far from perfect but you know,
I live on my own now and my time at home is diminishing quicker than quick-sand.

I go home once a week, sometimes 12 hours in week or sometimes once in two to three weeks.

So, the 'strained' in the strained relationship is currently very strained. There was even an instance
wherein i went to gym, and my mom arrived an hour after i did and we were surprised to see each other.
After a little chit-chat, i went back to my condo and she went bck home. God, what are we? Strangers who
share the same genes?

There's this schizophrenic debate inside my head:

I have a free term - it's free until I decide to go for an ambition I swore to seek before I enter law school. Its either I spend it in the course of duty (assuming I get it) or spend it with the only family I have and generate free-time, rest and family bonding before the dreaded four years of studying-til-my-brain-melts.

Life became easier without all the sister-fuss and the mom-pressure but I miss them. My mom is sick and my sister will soon be in high school and i'm missing it for what? For goddamn good night-outs, chill-outs and all out fun.

Not that I've completely lost concern for my family but you know, I dont have a usual kind of mother-daughter relationship. Let's just say we're better off apart. Things already happened (see note below) and it's gonna be a long process of recovery. But despite the seemingly inerasable memory, I'm trying to reach out because even if words were carelessly spoken and our actions were heedless and hurtful, the good things measure up to the bad and at the end of the day, they're still family to me.

On the other hand, achievement motivates my drive for life. I found gratification not from spoken words and empty praises, I earned it from scratch. What I lack, my achievements fulfilled. My family thought that great grades were mediocre so i had to do something else that was exceptional. So, I did. I enjoyed it, yes.I used to wait for the compulsory hug and congratulations but I got used to getting my medals alone 'coz everyone in my family was just too busy. I'm supposed to understand it though, 'coz my mom is working for both my sister and me. I was lucky to have great friends who broke tradition when they were the ones who went up on stage to receive several awards I got. haha.

I was my own competition. I loved the thrill of it. For most of my life, I have believed in that. I thought that because nobody in my family genuinely gave a shit, I 'd rather do it myself and stop waiting for love and care to happen. See? Everybody thinks I live in a perfect world, have the perfect family and the perfect high school life but 'the smiles covered up the pain' - that dead metaphor was my life in a sentence for so long. But things have changed. Outlooks have changed, circumstance have changed. Things are better now.

I am really happy doing what I want. It makes me really happy. My current time-consumer and happiness is related to the ambition I am talking about. Likewise, my mom and I were doing good patching up things before I lived on my own and forced everything to a halt.

We are actually doing good now, better than ever. We see each other less so, we have no time for arguments. But the gym incident was just so sad. I wanna be with my family and make them feel that I am at peace with everything - our past and present. Being alien and unfeeling is the last thing on my mind. I'm not like that. I love them so much.

Im confused.

Am I too selfish to even debate about my family and what makes me happy?

I have effin' been selfless for them most of my life, why can't I be selfish now?

Why can't my family and happiness be the same things at once?

Ngayon lang naman talaga ako naging ganito kasaya. Pero, ang pamilya, pamilya.

Is there sense in all this?

Note: Just so you know, I was never the smoking, drinking, reckless drug-addict kind of rebel. Rebel is a title undeserved. Illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and bad choice of men -no such things were part of my life story. In case some statements must've misled you to imagine scenarios.

Ang skitzo. Grabe. haha. forgive my vent out.You now know things you shouldn't know. pero well, I'm all for the bloggies that say it as it is. surface is not my favorite word.

Honestly it's a 70:30 thing now. 70 for family and free term and 30 for ambition. I am to think about this until Wednesday. It's the deciding point.

The Taft Life

2007-07-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

I dread the day I'll graduate from La Salle. Not that I don't want to finish school or something but I have so much great memories and have recently been making monumental ones that i feel so attached with the school. I was looking at my course flowchart and I have a measly 70 units left, 45 of which I'll take this year. It's so hard to leave the institution that made a full blown overhaul on who I was. And I am not saying this for sheer effect. I have met some of the best people in my whole life in college.

College is a place where you start with a clean slate. Where you are loved for who you are and not for what you are.Nobody knew who I was when I started college. Heck, I didn't know who I was, myself! I was too much drawn by the high school heirarchy that I thought I had to maintain a certain reputation to survive. High school required me to do things that weren't exactly me: I had to talk a certain way, dress a certain way and even eat a certain way. High school called for grave measures such as talking only to particular people and making friends with specific group. I found my best friends in high school, yes (I trust them with my life) but the wall that stood around me that time limited my chances of knowing equally interesting people.

College was different. There was no other way for me to fit in than to be myself. Stereotypes were broken, my discriminating taste was washed off. And I found the most amazing people ever. There are still some bad days but the good days make up for it. Looking back, It was ironic that La Salle was not in my plans. Taft was too far, both of my parents were UP-schooled and i was a die-hard Atenean. It was UP or Ateneo. Unfortunately, UP had only let me in a so-so course, that was so pathetic, i did not take it even if it was the "state university". i fought for Ateneo but it's too bad I didn't have a padrino (waitlisting sucks).

I was bummed that i'm left to choose between UST and La Salle and that my parents preferred the latter but after devoting ample time in Taft, I'm starting to believe that things really do happen for a reason. La Salle obliged me to move out from the house and live on my own (which would not have happened if I was in UP or Ateneo because It's near my home turf) , it made me stand up on my own without having to cry for help everytime i needed it. The spoiled brat Karla isn't so spoiled anymore.

Is it really La Salle or is it the wonderful people i've met?

Am I just lucky to have ran across such green pastures?

Great minds lurk in Vito Cruz and the MRT-LRT2 riding populace is a fascinating mix.

Life is good this side of the world. Life is TAFT but TAFT is my life. Animo.

2am

2007-07-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

I was so bummed and bored tonight that right after my law class (which totally sucked), i spent like an hour in the Plaridel office, killing time. Then i pondered on how punished I was, how stressed I was and how badly I needed to reward myself. I got hold of my phone and used my M-Pass for Sureseats on Glorietta 4.

Yey! i got the best seat for the 10:30 last full show of Die Hard 4.0 ...

I really did not mind watching alone because I was so bored i couldn't care less what the effin' things people i don't know would think. I needed a reward. That's it.

So there, I packed two bottles of C2 lemon, grabbed a jacket and hitched with a friend who was on the way. Finally a "clean" treat from a week of work and booze (don't get me wrong though, I am having the time of my life in college right now, i just needed a refreshing 'alone time'.) I bought my hotdog, banana chips and chocolates... I got my ticket... everything was in perfect timing. I sat in the movie house, exactly when the trailer preview started. Perfect.

I was munching on the vacuum processed banana chips (which tasted awful) when a a couple came in, went two rows in front of me. I thought i recognized the guy... Tall, well built with broad shoulders, dimpled smile, defined jaw.... But i shrugged it off. There were a lot of couples. What's with the last full show and couples? Oh well, I was more concentrated with my eating and watching that being the only single person there didn't matter so much...

Die Hard 4.o was phenomenal.

100% of my attention was in the movie.

Until...it ended.

People went up. In pairs, of course. Then the couple i was talking about earlier turned out to be my uneventful fling and his new girl. because i know him so well, he would approach me for sure (assuming he sees me). That guy is a walking tactless chatterbox and the last thing I want to hear is him asking me why i am in my lonesome while he is with a girl (who looks like crap, of course) and of course, knowing him, he would offer me a ride home because its already 1am and knowing me, I wouldn't be able to decline and we would be in an awkward state of "third wheel gone bad" inside his car.Actually, I wouldn't mind being approached if I wasn't in my pamabahay-slash-dressed-downlook kanina. If I looked smashing, I would even walk up to him if I was in the mood. But I just grabbed a jacket and i looked totally looked like crap (not as crappy as his date, mind you). So I walked fast. And unfortunately, had the urge to pee.I searched for the nearest ladies room but it was closed, so I searched for another one... Buti na lang it was open. Then when I came out, they walked by...Since I was hiding, I quickly made a U-turn and was scared like shit when the lights went off inside the CR. Malls are scary without all the glimmering lights and noisy people, i tell you... After enduring my horror trip to the CR, I went out scared shitless just hoping they wouldn't be there when i go out...

They weren't thank God.

so, with a die hard adventure myself, i went down hailed a cab and went home.

Is singledom really that bad?

Now, i'll just content myself with my 6 seasons of Sex and the City if I'm bored.

It would feed me so much girl power, I wouldn't be such a pathetic ex-fling. Where was all the lessons I learned from samantha jones, carrie bradshaw and miranda (of Sex and the City fame)?

Is being single a sin?

Am i doomed until I find someone? Now, someone take me out on a movie date.entry ends 230am7/17/07. Will play DoTA. Will not sleep.X-}

Spindoctor

2007-07-16T13:42:00.000+08:00

I have woken up from my so-called hibernation. It's been more than a month of "absorbing" and although I have declared that I am NOT on a quest to 'find myself', something similar to that have taken place.

Realization no. 1

Im tired of all those masquerading staccato blog entries that just shows the surface. I will effin’ say what I want this time. I will say it HOW i want it said - straight-up, no-sugarcoating, no beating around the bush and no playing-it-safe. IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, THEN DON'T READ IT, MORON.

Realization no. 2

Sometimes you will just wake up and realize that there is actually no point in living your life. You live because you think there's no other option. You do things to follow a ready template. You breathe, you live. You breathe, but thats about it. A pointless breathing person. If you can't handle that, then kill yourself. Cut down the pathetic-ness in this world.

Realization no. 3

I hate my apartment's pest problem so much that I endure sleeping with Baygon air every night just to lessen the baby roaches. Im seriously considering to trade flats with someone. On second thought, maybe I'm subconsciously killing myself. So, whatever, right?

Realization no. 4

I am an insomniac. I want my old body clock!

Realization no. 5

I am a walking fat absorber. Im gaining weight exponentially.

Realization no. 6

I like talks. Long talks over alcohol. non-teeny bopper talks. I am hoping I wouldn't wind up as an alcoholic. I love it. Im having fun.

Realization no. 7

i want to shop really bad.

Realization no. 8

I am in love with Adam Brody

Realization no. 9

I am a serial crusher

Realization no. 10

i'm truly confused. someone enlighten me please.

Hibernate

2007-06-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

I think too much. I work too much. I talk too much. I laugh too much. i love too much. i hurt too much. i feel so much.

Everything is just too much.

I am on the verge of explosion.

I'm just there... ready to jump off when the moment is right...

I just want to escape...

I want to listen to my own breathing...

At present, solitude seems to be bliss..

No, Im not on a quest to know who I am... i just want to ABSORB everything...

every sensation doesn't have to be fleeting... I don't want to be too overwhelmed because the

moment might lose its essence...

I want to capture it...

I need to quiet down, think things over and

HIBERNATE.

What do you think?

Surreal

2007-05-29T23:26:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through James Joyce's short story, "Araby" before my 11:20 am Literature class when I remembered that my teacher was complaining that our (LS210), was too far from his previous class and that he wanted to transfer us, either to St. Joseph's Hall (SJ) or Miguel (M). I asked someone about the room transfer the moment I remembered it and my friend/classmate told me that we would indeed be using another lit turf, J209. Suddenly, a burst of nostalgia has rushed through my body, that was consistently a classroom that got assigned to our block when i was still a freshman. I was a little early, I came down from the office with Harold (a co-writer who was in the same class) but he went to check on the(his) Track Team's tambayan first for whatever, so, I just went along with my stroll to SJ.

I am in love with St. Joseph's hall - it's my favorite building; not too bright, very cozy and has a certain sense of peacefulness to it. I entered the room and the aircon was in full blast, i noticed the fresh clean smell of J209 - spic and span as all SJ rooms has been for me. "Wow. bango", I even announced as I walked through the door. The room was twice the size of our LS building room, one of my classmates sat in front-most row, the bulbs were turned off and the natural light seeped through the half-opened blinds. We were the only ones there the time I entered. I sat at the leftmost corner at the back of the room to avoid the chilling air that aircon liberates.I hid my hands inside my pocket and I looked at the trees in SJ walk through the blinds while listening to the ramblings of random people passing by "conscious walk" Then, I remembered what happened yesterday. Unbelievable. Surreal.

Somebody from the Student Publication Office (SPO) died. He was a poet of our sister publication, The Malate Literary Folio. He passed away right in the floor where I was, in the room beside ours, during Plaridel's Editorial board meeting. We didn't know until we heard that there was a stretcher and a boy turning blue from Malate. It was a tragic day for SPO and all the publications. It was really, sudden. Nobody figured out that such a thing would happen. I wasn't close to him but just the proximity of his identity to mine was enough reason to grief. A co-writer, a person who hangs out in their office a lot. He was someone i dint know yet was so familiar.I wouldn't go into details about what has transpired. Of course, people from the publications know what really happened and what negligence the clinic [allegedly] committed. Rumors and speculations are going around school and different versions about his death was told by souls who don't even know him - and I wouldn't make myself an addition to all that foolishness. Yes, it was a sudden death but why the incredible stories made up to sensationalize it too much. Guys, this is not tsimis, somebody just died. Hello!?! This is not a laughing matter, more so, a source of your lunch entertainment!

I went to his [the writer who died] wake this afternoon with Plaridel's managing editor together with the dean of student affairs and the SPO director and secretary. I feel so bad for what happened to him and I am acknowledging the grief and sorrow that his family and friends feel for him. I got the opportunity of leading the intercessions when we prayed for him. He looked very peaceful. I believe that he is in a very happy place now.

Earl Andrew Gloria, may the angels speed your soul to heaven.
And although, we will only be friends who never met,
You will be in my prayers.

http://werememberdrew.livejournal.com/

BULGRRR

2007-05-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

I would like to congratulate the Editorial Board (EB) of 2007 - 2008 for the successful and on time release of BULGRRR, Ang Pahayagang Plaridel's spoof issue. It was funny, witty and was a by product of hard work combined with extreme 'kahalayan', good humor and a lot of sense (meron naman!). Guys, kudos to all of us, we nailed this one down GOOD!

It was the talk of the whole campus. Laftrip daw, sobra.

I love our EB :-)

________

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

Ice cream solutions

2007-05-16T17:47:00.000+08:00

One afternoon, i made a flimsy excuse to talk to him. I pretended that I needed help in something that was, in reality, an uncomplicated elementary task for someone like me. Actually, that 'thing' I needed help on, was just as easy as pie to me. But there, I went on, asking for help, along with my puppy-eyes and sly smile, feeding his hungry ego. That afternoon, I got to play the bimbo - the dumb blonde, the helpless, the clueless... I hated every minute of it, but I really liked him. He seemed to like the "damsel-in-distress" type of girls which I'm totally not. He likes the sweet ones, the ones with no athletic background, the ones who would scream at the top of their lungs when faced with a creature with more than 4 legs... The ones who would run to his arms, asking for protection, warmth and all the mushy stuff. So...NOT..me. I was on the verge of bursting into laughter when he offered me a strawberry sundae to make me feel a little better about my "dillema" - ice cream solutions. he's really the boyfriend-type of guy, unfortunately, I'm not the girlfriend-material kind of girl. *sigh* I'm everything that he doesn't want. I'm a tough cookie, a little crazy for his taste, a sadistic dominatrix with violent tendencies and a penchant for feminine men. I am not even the type who would like the boy-next-door jocks like him. Even with that in mind, I listen to his stories, wanting to understand the logic of why i like him, I finish the sundae in delicate fashion, not in my usual 'bugoy' and klutzy way...Then suddenly he offers me a napkin, and wipes the ice cream on my cheek when i didn't understand what his gestures meant [trying to offer a napkin]. He's like that all the time... The perfect gentleman - opening doors, carrying bags, paying for the bill. He sweeps me off my feet but If ever I do fall for him, I will forever pretend that i'm a clueless child waiting to be taught by the wisdom-filled man that he is. He's a dominating kind of guy and I'm not a submissive kind of girl. I really like him but If i have to change myself to fit his ideal, or if he has to change to fit mine - then maybe, I have to shrug off the possibilities - no matter how enchanted (faggoty word alert) I am with him...

So much for free desserts...

(^__^)

Burn, Baby. BURN.

2007-05-02T20:12:00.000+08:00

Ang Pahayagang Plaridel

Year-End Teambuilding Seminar

photo - kg

Calatagan, Batangas
April 20-22, 2007

The perfect summer.

http://dividedby17.multiply.com